Jump to content

Man Facing Jail Time for Ejaculating into Co-worker's Water Bottle


whiplash1972
 Share

Recommended Posts

Man Facing Jail Time for Ejaculating into Co-worker's Water Bottle

 

Michael Lallana admitted he ejaculated into a co-worker's water bottle because "her lips had touched it."

 

56151269.jpg

Michael Lallana (left) is charged with releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault. The victim (right) was identified only as Jane Doe in court. (KTLA.com)

 

KTLA News 5:43 a.m. PDT, April 22, 2011

 

SANTA ANA (KTLA) -- A man accused of ejaculating twice into a co-worker's drinking water is scheduled to appear in court Friday to face sentencing for assault and battery.

 

Michael Kevin Lallana "felt that was as close as he could get" to the 29-year-old executive assistant, said Deputy District Attorney Brock Zimmon.

 

"He did it for the purpose of sexual gratification."

 

The 32-year old from Fullerton admitted that he ejaculated into an "attractive" co-worker's water bottle because "her lips had touched it," but told detectives he never thought she would drink it.

 

He faces a maximum sentence of one year in jail and sex offender registration.

 

He was charged in February with six misdemeanor counts of releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault, with sentencing allegations for committing a crime for sexual gratification.

 

Lallana's attorney Eduardo Madrid argued against the charged of misdemeanor assault and battery.

 

"There was no application of force," Madrid contended.

 

"It doesn't make any sense. How could there be an assault? (The co-worker) wasn't even there."

 

The incident happened on January 14, 2010, at the Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company in Newport Beach, according to the Orange County District Attorney's office.

 

Investigators say Lallana entered the victim's office and deposited his semen into a water bottle that was on his co-worker's desk.

 

The defendant is accused of leaving the semen-filled water bottle on the victim's desk which she drank when she returned to her office.

 

The victim, who was unaware of the bottle's contents, drank the contaminated water. She threw it away after feeling sick, investigators say.

 

Three months later, the victim and six other employees, including the defendant, were transferred to the Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company's Orange branch. That's where a second incident occurred, according to officials.

 

On April 9, 2010, Lallana is accused of assaulting the same victim by depositing his ejaculation into another water bottle that the victim left on her desk. The victim took a sip from the bottle, then felt sick. She decided to send the specimen to a private lab to be tested.

 

The lab contacted her and told her the water bottle contained semen, police said.

 

The victim then notified the Orange Police Department .

 

DNA tests confirmed the semen belonged to Lallana.

 

http://www.ktla.com/...ng-water-bottle,0,2014924.story?track=rss

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I love how the caption makes it a point to say that the victim was referred to only as "Jane Doe" right underneath a nice photo of her. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She does have nice lips. :whistle:

 

But I'd need a tub or a large bowl, because I sure couldn't fit it in a water bottle. :D

 

Creepy non the less.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One side of me is going :rofl2:

 

while the other side is going :puke:

 

This is the part that kills me:

 

The victim, who was unaware of the bottle's contents, drank the contaminated water. She threw it away after feeling sick

 

Just picture that scene. "(sip, sip) Hmmm....y'know, there's something that tastes familiar about this water!!!"

 

...and yeah, if that dude was able to fit his schween into a water bottle, he must be hung like a mosquito. :rofl:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hilarious! I guess it's time to use this emoticon again! :masturbanana:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is unbelievable that someone not only could do this but would want to do this. How pathetic.

 

 

I don't know, I'm not condoning or racing out to do it, but and now maybe its just me, but, the FIRST thing I think about when I see some broad is would I or wouldn't I.

 

THis guy just took it 30 steps further, skipping steps 1-29, rubbing a few out at home thinking about her...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Took a sip, then threw it away after felling sick."

 

Certainly won't want to marry that one if you catch my drift...certain waste of a nice pair of lips.

 

 

Otherwise what a heartwarming story on such a glorious FRiday!

 

I was thinking pretty much the same thing when I first read this. I mean Ive been married almost 30 years, and I wouldnt make the mistake a second time given the chance.

 

If she doesnt swallow Im out the door! :whistle: There I said it. :quagmire:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So did he whack off in the water bottle? or did he bring it like in a carrier vile? and I never known any chick who got sick after knocking back some pecker snot, she must have known the taste, she was familiar with the substance, that could have been the only possible way she really knew what was going on? i stand by my comment, he he he he!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So did he whack off in the water bottle? or did he bring it like in a carrier vile? and I never known any chick who got sick after knocking back some pecker snot, she must have known the taste, she was familiar with the substance, that could have been the only possible way she really knew what was going on? i stand by my comment, he he he he!!

 

 

:)

 

 

I second that He He He and ump the ante with an LOL and LMAO...

 

 

:) pecker snot :)

 

Carrier vile. :) Maybe he flung it in there ala Silence Of THe Lambs...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would guess that he was rubbing the head of his pecker all around the mouth of the water bottle (thus transferring some of her sweet, sweet lip DNA to the head of said pecker) while jacking it, and then aimed his baby batter down into the bottle when he shot it. Just a guess.... :angel:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would guess that he was rubbing the head of his pecker all around the mouth of the water bottle (thus transferring some of her sweet, sweet lip DNA to the head of said pecker) while jacking it, and then aimed his baby batter down into the bottle when he shot it. Just a guess.... :angel:

Way to much information!! :masturbanana:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • 2021 HH Donation Drive

    Please support Heavy Harmonies! The donations goal is the out-of-pocket expenses to run the main site and this board for calendar year 2021.



    76% of donation goal reached.
    Donate Sidebar by DevFuse
  • Posts

    • You brought the man out of me, so many times, easily. 
    • One of my all-time favorite Christian rock-ballads.
    • I don't mind at all. That was the only way I could make you say, "Oh God!" without it being blasphemy. 
    • For the record, I would totally check out a "Do you want to Bang your Librarian?" thread. Also, when I first glanced at this post, I thought it read, "Do you want to Bang your Libertarian?" and I immediately thought, "No way in hell does anybody here want to bang Leykis." 
    • Agree...that sounds better. Still potential here and Erik makes it listenable.    This first single could've been pretty good with a different structured chorus so hopefully other tunes are a bit better. Still not sure its going to be melodic/catchy enough for my tastes which is generally my problem with this  genre.
    • My apologies, cob, but didn't Cody say "the only thing Atheists all have in common is we do not subscribe to the myth of the deity, god or higher power, of any kind, this is it, then we are worm food, not all Atheists subscribe to the same meaning or philosophy, we don't all believe in the same science, or anything, I personally feel as though..." Sorry if I misread, but that doesn't really sound like a group that are fundamentalist in their certainty. In fact, none of that really sounded to me how you describe it.  What does intrigue me, though, is that you acknowledge that we are just a speck upon a speck upon a speck staring at a piece of dirt on the toenail of an elephant... yet religious folk believe that there's a god out there somewhere and his only concern is whether this speck upon a speck upon a speck staring at a piece of dirt on the toenail of an elephant follows the gospel or not? And not only this speck upon a speck upon a speck staring at a piece of dirt on the toenail of an elephant, but every single other speck upon a speck upon a speck staring at a piece of dirt on the toenail of an elephant that has ever existed? Of the entire universe throughout the entirety of time, all this god really cares about is whether each speck upon a speck upon a speck staring at a piece of dirt on the toenail of an elephant is following the gospel. Because if not, that speck upon a speck upon a speck staring at a piece of dirt on the toenail of an elephant is sure as heck going to hell. Sounds like the type of being I'd like to devote my single human life to.  Sorry dudes, like I say, I'm not an atheist (that I know of), and I'm sure as heck not a religious man. What do you call someone who is just honest enough to admit that I don't have a clue how we started, or why we are, or what will happen when we're dead? And I also believe that no one alive now, or whom has lived before us, has these answers either. Nor will they ever have them. No matter how steadfast someone is in their belief of whatever they believe, no one will ever be able to answer, with 100% certainty, those questions. 
    • And a small but important  update. Had an MRI scan two weeks back and just before I went in for a weeks chemo. The day I was discharged the doctor who discharged me gave me the results of the MRI scan and confirmed my feelings that the brain cancer had reduced in size, so everything it seems is going to plan.
    • I'd like to think so too, but I don't think it is. But I am always weary of what's being reported in Australian media. Are we just seeing everything from the hysterical, moronic and blown out of proportion version that the Aussie media feeds us? Or are there actually things happening outside of this country that are as hysterically panic driven as they are here? From the few other things I've heard, globally, it does seem that this variant has earned it's own little slice of worldwide panic, so I guess we'll see. This Panic First, Ask Questions Later mentality that the world has adopted is honestly an (even further) embarrassment to humanity. If I didn't have children I would confess that the time has certainly well and truly come for the human race to be nuked and made extinct. I ponder how much I hated humans in 2019. It took 40 years to build up that level of hatred. I am not even kidding to say that those 40 years of built up hatred has probably doubled, if not tripled or even quadrupled in the space of the two years since. What I think of what has become of the human race in the space of two years has no words left to describe it. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.