Man Facing Jail Time for Ejaculating into Co-worker's Water Bottle

[whiplash1972]

Man Facing Jail Time for Ejaculating into Co-worker's Water Bottle

 

Michael Lallana admitted he ejaculated into a co-worker's water bottle because "her lips had touched it."

 

Michael Lallana (left) is charged with releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault. The victim (right) was identified only as Jane Doe in court. (KTLA.com)

 

KTLA News 5:43 a.m. PDT, April 22, 2011

 

SANTA ANA (KTLA) -- A man accused of ejaculating twice into a co-worker's drinking water is scheduled to appear in court Friday to face sentencing for assault and battery.

 

Michael Kevin Lallana "felt that was as close as he could get" to the 29-year-old executive assistant, said Deputy District Attorney Brock Zimmon.

 

"He did it for the purpose of sexual gratification."

 

The 32-year old from Fullerton admitted that he ejaculated into an "attractive" co-worker's water bottle because "her lips had touched it," but told detectives he never thought she would drink it.

 

He faces a maximum sentence of one year in jail and sex offender registration.

 

He was charged in February with six misdemeanor counts of releasing an offensive material in a public place and assault, with sentencing allegations for committing a crime for sexual gratification.

 

Lallana's attorney Eduardo Madrid argued against the charged of misdemeanor assault and battery.

 

"There was no application of force," Madrid contended.

 

"It doesn't make any sense. How could there be an assault? (The co-worker) wasn't even there."

 

The incident happened on January 14, 2010, at the Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company in Newport Beach, according to the Orange County District Attorney's office.

 

Investigators say Lallana entered the victim's office and deposited his semen into a water bottle that was on his co-worker's desk.

 

The defendant is accused of leaving the semen-filled water bottle on the victim's desk which she drank when she returned to her office.

 

The victim, who was unaware of the bottle's contents, drank the contaminated water. She threw it away after feeling sick, investigators say.

 

Three months later, the victim and six other employees, including the defendant, were transferred to the Northwestern Mutual Mortgage Company's Orange branch. That's where a second incident occurred, according to officials.

 

On April 9, 2010, Lallana is accused of assaulting the same victim by depositing his ejaculation into another water bottle that the victim left on her desk. The victim took a sip from the bottle, then felt sick. She decided to send the specimen to a private lab to be tested.

 

The lab contacted her and told her the water bottle contained semen, police said.

 

The victim then notified the Orange Police Department .

 

DNA tests confirmed the semen belonged to Lallana.

 

http://www.ktla.com/...ng-water-bottle,0,2014924.story?track=rss

 

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I love how the caption makes it a point to say that the victim was referred to only as "Jane Doe" right underneath a nice photo of her.

[zacharyamelie]

She does have nice lips.

 

But I'd need a tub or a large bowl, because I sure couldn't fit it in a water bottle.

 

Creepy non the less.

[Fat Freddy]

One side of me is going

 

while the other side is going

 

This is the part that kills me:

 

The victim, who was unaware of the bottle's contents, drank the contaminated water. She threw it away after feeling sick

 

Just picture that scene. "(sip, sip) Hmmm....y'know, there's something that tastes familiar about this water!!!"

 

...and yeah, if that dude was able to fit his schween into a water bottle, he must be hung like a mosquito.

[Nightrain]

man this news just make my day

[Thomas/Coastline]

Hilarious! I guess it's time to use this emoticon again!

[Dead Planet]

I wonder if she would have pressed charges if she knew she would be forever known as the woman who drank semen from a water bottle?

[martinsane]

"Took a sip, then threw it away after felling sick."

 

Certainly won't want to marry that one if you catch my drift...certain waste of a nice pair of lips.

 

 

Otherwise what a heartwarming story on such a glorious FRiday!

[Mullethead]

I just puked in my mouth....

[Swamp Devil]

I'm glad I found out you can get jail time for this!

[All Nights Reserved]

Hilarious! I guess it's time to use this emoticon again!

 

...or this one

 

[heaven&hell]

This is unbelievable that someone not only could do this but would want to do this. How pathetic.

[martinsane]

This is unbelievable that someone not only could do this but would want to do this. How pathetic.

 

 

I don't know, I'm not condoning or racing out to do it, but and now maybe its just me, but, the FIRST thing I think about when I see some broad is would I or wouldn't I.

 

THis guy just took it 30 steps further, skipping steps 1-29, rubbing a few out at home thinking about her...

[Leykis101]

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

[metaltrekman]

"Took a sip, then threw it away after felling sick."

 

Certainly won't want to marry that one if you catch my drift...certain waste of a nice pair of lips.

 

 

Otherwise what a heartwarming story on such a glorious FRiday!

 

I was thinking pretty much the same thing when I first read this. I mean Ive been married almost 30 years, and I wouldnt make the mistake a second time given the chance.

 

If she doesnt swallow Im out the door! There I said it.

[Leykis101]

So did he whack off in the water bottle? or did he bring it like in a carrier vile? and I never known any chick who got sick after knocking back some pecker snot, she must have known the taste, she was familiar with the substance, that could have been the only possible way she really knew what was going on? i stand by my comment, he he he he!!

[RichieZ]

That's just desperate and f+++d up!

[martinsane]

So did he whack off in the water bottle? or did he bring it like in a carrier vile? and I never known any chick who got sick after knocking back some pecker snot, she must have known the taste, she was familiar with the substance, that could have been the only possible way she really knew what was going on? i stand by my comment, he he he he!!

 

 

 

 

I second that He He He and ump the ante with an LOL and LMAO...

 

 

pecker snot

 

Carrier vile. Maybe he flung it in there ala Silence Of THe Lambs...

[whiplash1972]

I would guess that he was rubbing the head of his pecker all around the mouth of the water bottle (thus transferring some of her sweet, sweet lip DNA to the head of said pecker) while jacking it, and then aimed his baby batter down into the bottle when he shot it. Just a guess....

[AlphaMale]

Funny but sick!

[nightwolf]

I would guess that he was rubbing the head of his pecker all around the mouth of the water bottle (thus transferring some of her sweet, sweet lip DNA to the head of said pecker) while jacking it, and then aimed his baby batter down into the bottle when he shot it. Just a guess....

Way to much information!!

[the reg]

that woman is gorgeous.....i wouldnt do what that doofis did but id buy her a soda....

[cdjunky41]

No matter how you look at it, the man had some good aim.. I mean, a water bottle..

[Nightrain]

No matter how you look at it, the man had some good aim.. I mean, a water bottle..

 

or maybe it's because of the size.. small, you know ? a water battle size ?

[cdjunky41]

No matter how you look at it, the man had some good aim.. I mean, a water bottle..

 

or maybe it's because of the size.. small, you know ? a water battle size ?

 

I was thinking If I were to do it myself..