CDs for Schmucks!

[glam_junkie]

I recently saw the movie "Dinner for Schmucks" where the aim is for successfull business men to invite the most embarrassing and unique person to dinner. The person who brings the most embarrassing entertaining person to dinner is declared the winner.

 

After listening to a certain cd today, i began to wonder if this ever occured in the record industry, where major label record execs had a competition where they competed against each other to sign the most embarrassing awful band.

 

If so, i think one of these record exces signed and released this album just so they could win the "CDs for Schmucks" competition.

 

Salty Dog - "every dog has it's day"

 

 

this album is a disgrace!

no wonder our music died.

vocals that make me want to vomit, and songs that sound like b-grade blues tracks tacked onto the end of 80's hair metal albums, that were recorded after a night on the grog.

 

how the hell did this album get released?

when you look at bands that never got released, the guys obviously had some dirt on someone....

did the singers father own the label? of did the singer own the daughter of the record label owner?

i don't think so!

the only possible explanation is the existance of a "CDs For Schmucks" competition abck in the day.

 

 

It's for this reason that i think Salty Dog was part of a major label's "CDs for Schmucks" competition.

 

Anyone got any other cds they think may have been part of this competition?

[Studboy]

Nitro - O.F.R. Sounds like the Alvin from the chipmunks is the lead vocalist on the album.

[Swazi]

The first CD that came to my mind was:

 

Guns n' Roses - Chinese Democracy

 

 

[Fat Freddy]

great topic!

 

I'd say just about anything by the BulletBoys definitely qualifies.

 

Ditto for any of Peter Criss' solo work outside of KISS.

[LV KIX]

Maybe the worst thing every released within this genre.. WARPIPES - "Holes In The Heavens".

 

You would think that being such a small label (Artful Balance Records) that the executives could have found something just a little better to spend money on. Like maybe a can of dog food or something.

 

Does anyone know any other artists on the Artful Balance label...?

 

If there are not any... I'll sure understand why.

[cdjunky41]

I gotta go with Island Record's DIAMOND REXX-LAND OF THE DAMNED. I do believed they signed the band as a joke..

[heavyharmonies]

Comment from Pete in 4... 3... 2... 1...

 

 

[glam_junkie]

Thumbs up to all suggestions so far.

Definitely plenty of "Cds for Schmucks" in this lot.

 

Chinese Democracy must have been going for the award based on money outlay and time wasted, which would give the record exec who commissioned this one a hell of a lot of bonus points. It is however a better album than the other suggested IMO.

 

Dan's suggestion... well, never heard of it, but the artwork doesn't exactly scream 'quality'.

 

I can just imagine all these bands sitting around a table with these record execs thinking "we've made it!!!" when unknown to them they're just all part of a sick twisted game.

 

... schmucks!

[heaven&hell]

Thumbs up to all suggestions so far.

Definitely plenty of "Cds for Schmucks" in this lot.

 

Chinese Democracy must have been going for the award based on money outlay and time wasted, which would give the record exec who commissioned this one a hell of a lot of bonus points. It is however a better album than the other suggested IMO.

... schmucks!

 

I agree that CD is a good album actually a very good album.

I understand why some were dissapointed but the more I listen to it the more I like it.

Sure it took waaaaay to long to finish it and cost waaaaay to much money but still is a quality release.

[Geoff]

I like 'Chinese Democracy' but aside from that I agree with the rest. That one may not be everyone's personal cup of tea but I think it's a pretty good disc, to be honest.

 

Salty Dog, Warpipes and Nitro, I totally agree. Add Tattooed Love Boys to the list too, please.

[JamesEagle]

For me there is one obvious choice and it won't be popular - 'Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich' by Warrant. I absolutely hated that album and got rid of it as soon as I could. Much worse than Salty Dog for me!

[phaffas]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

And how this one got released on one of the biggest Aussie labels (Mushroom) is beyond me. I know Lindsay doesnt mind it, but i think its one of the worst albums ive ever (but giving it credit, its got a great production..) but a shocking album..

[SUICIDE]

Steel Panther

[Ytseman]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

[Geoff]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

Only love mail from me. Terrible, terrible disc.

[KarpetRydOFunk]

Steel Panther

I just figured this went without saying, but perhaps it's good that it's been said.

[Geoff]

Steel Panther

I just figured this went without saying, but perhaps it's good that it's been said.

I think you'll find that it's actually the schmucks that are the ones that don't enjoy it.

 

Randomest of random, but this sexy little 21 year old I work with these days, who listens to 'Like a G6' or whatever stuff it is that's on the radio... but long story short, she actually knew this band. Apparently one of her ex's was a muso and totally into Steel Panther and she dug it. Nice. Takin' it to the youngin's too.

[Ytseman]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

Only love mail from me. Terrible, terrible disc.

 

My mistake. I'm sure Matt mentioned he was getting The Law and I didn't actually read his post (does anyone???) and saw the word Law and assumed he was talking about The Law.

 

The Law = great album

Law & Order = never heard it sorry

[Ytseman]

Steel Panther

I just figured this went without saying, but perhaps it's good that it's been said.

I think you'll find that it's actually the schmucks that are the ones that don't enjoy it.

 

I'll take that as a compliment Geoff

[Geoff]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

Only love mail from me. Terrible, terrible disc.

 

My mistake. I'm sure Matt mentioned he was getting The Law and I didn't actually read his post (does anyone???) and saw the word Law and assumed he was talking about The Law.

 

The Law = great album

Law & Order = never heard it sorry

Don't be sorry, you're one of the lucky ones.

[heaven&hell]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

Only love mail from me. Terrible, terrible disc.

 

My mistake. I'm sure Matt mentioned he was getting The Law and I didn't actually read his post (does anyone???) and saw the word Law and assumed he was talking about The Law.

 

The Law = great album

Law & Order = never heard it sorry

Don't be sorry, you're one of the lucky ones.

 

I've never owned or heard all of the Law and Order disc but I used to have one of their videos on a VHS tape I made of a bunch of Headbangers Ball videos. I can't remember the name of the tune but I really liked it. It wasn't your normal melodic rock but something a little more intense if memory serves. Now that I think about I still have that video tape somewhere around here.

[Geoff]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

Only love mail from me. Terrible, terrible disc.

 

My mistake. I'm sure Matt mentioned he was getting The Law and I didn't actually read his post (does anyone???) and saw the word Law and assumed he was talking about The Law.

 

The Law = great album

Law & Order = never heard it sorry

Don't be sorry, you're one of the lucky ones.

 

I've never owned or heard all of the Law and Order disc but I used to have one of their videos on a VHS tape I made of a bunch of Headbangers Ball videos. I can't remember the name of the tune but I really liked it. It wasn't your normal melodic rock but something a little more intense if memory serves. Now that I think about I still have that video tape somewhere around here.

Yeah, my first experience with them was on a Hard N' Heavy video and I too remember the video being decent. I'm guessing they must have had one pretty okay single at the time, but when I got down to finding the full CD (thankfully for no more than a dollar or two) it was pretty aweful. As Matt says, just boring as hell.

[SUICIDE]

Steel Panther

I just figured this went without saying, but perhaps it's good that it's been said.

I think you'll find that it's actually the schmucks that are the ones that don't enjoy it.

 

Randomest of random, but this sexy little 21 year old I work with these days, who listens to 'Like a G6' or whatever stuff it is that's on the radio... but long story short, she actually knew this band. Apparently one of her ex's was a muso and totally into Steel Panther and she dug it. Nice. Takin' it to the youngin's too.

 

I will not fault the young and innocent mind because of bad influence in her area.

[Evil Rick]

How about this sucker!

This is one of the most bland and heartless plain rock cds's ive ever heard.

 

 

 

Ouch, expect some hate mail.

Only love mail from me. Terrible, terrible disc.

This was the first album I thought of when reading this. Very bad musically, too f-ing preachy, worst $1.00 I ever spent!

 

Warpipes is definitely up there as well.

 

I Napoleon is another one that comes to mind (although I've never been able to part with it...call it a love-hate relationship).

[JamesEagle]

 

I Napoleon is another one that comes to mind (although I've never been able to part with it...call it a love-hate relationship).

 

I've read some very positive reviews of that one (as well as bad). Maybe it's one of those 'love it or hate it' albums? I was tempted to get it, but the bad press put me off.