Let's Discuss Eric Brittingham

[heaven&hell]

Eric Brittingham can tie his shoes with his feet.

 

Eric Brittingham once picked up a Rubik's Cube and stared at it intently for 10 seconds. The cube solved itself out of sheer terror, then exploded.

 

Eric Brittingham has the heart of a lion... in a jar, on his dresser.

 

When Eric Brittingham goes to an airport, the TSA agents fondle themselves.

 

Eric Brittingham invented zombies so he could kill his enemies a second time.

 

Eric Brittingham has a bottle of milk in his refrigerator that is over ten years old. It is too frightened to expire.

 

Eric Brittingham is responsible for "Futurama's" return to the airwaves.

 

Eric Brittingham is so bad-ass that one fateful night in June of 2009, he watched "The Wiz" on TV while masturbating, and accidentally killed Michael Jackson.

Oh I do constantly enjoy these.

 

Backed. I couldn't stop laughing and laughed louder with each sentence.

My fav might have to be the Zombie one but if I'm wrong I'm sure Eric will change my mind for me.

[JamesEagle]

 

My fav might have to be the Zombie one

 

 

We could do with Eric in southeast England to get the trains running. Although I suppose he doesn't need trains or cars; presumably he can just materialise wherever he needs to be.

[glam_junkie]

Eric Brittingham could host the world cup in his own awesomeness

[KarpetRydOFunk]

How do you know when Eric Brittingham is playing in your city? Your ears are bleeding.

And every woman in town is suddenly with child--a child that will exit the womb wearing purple spandex and rocking a beautiful blonde mane. Be sure to have a bass ready and tuned for that child.

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham doesn't use an iPod. He uses an iPunch.

 

Eric Brittingham once won a staring contest, blindfolded, over the phone.

 

Eric Brittingham was dropped twice as a child. Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.

 

Eric Brittingham can play a Blu-Ray disc on an 8 track player.

 

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Eric Brittingham stories.

 

Fear of spiders is known as "arachnophobia." Fear of tight spaces is known as "Claustrophobia." Fear of Eric Brittingham is called "Logic."

 

There used to be a street named after Eric Brittingham, but they had to change it because nobody crosses Eric Brittingham and lives.

 

Eric Brittingham can text on a pay phone.

 

Everyone on Facebook "likes" Eric Brittingham...or else.

 

Eric Brittingham can turn a hamburger back into a cow.

 

Eric Brittingham won the 2010 World Series of Poker using a deck of Pokemon cards.

 

Eric Brittingham doesn't need Twitter. He's already following you.

[Nightrain]

lol, just found out this thread, keep it up man

[Fat Freddy]

Today (May 8th) is The Great Brittingham's 50th birthday. (Seriously, it is. Look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Brittingham )

 

He commands all of his loyal subjects to celebrate by bathing in Pabst Blue Ribbon while listening to Cinderella.

 

The Great One has spoken. We must obey.

[Glen]

The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead, is because they finally let Eric Brittingham into Pakistan

[Fat Freddy]

The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead, is because they finally let Eric Brittingham into Pakistan

 

True. And Osama wasn't shot in the head, as was officially reported, either. What really happened? Eric Brittingham crashed into the room, pointed his finger at Osama, said "BOO-YA," and Osama's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

[Nightrain]

The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead, is because they finally let Eric Brittingham into Pakistan

 

True. And Osama wasn't shot in the head, as was officially reported, either. What really happened? Eric Brittingham crashed into the room, pointed his finger at Osama, said "BOO-YA," and Osama's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

top notch

[heaven&hell]

Today (May 8th) is The Great Brittingham's 50th birthday. (Seriously, it is. Look it up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Brittingham )

 

He commands all of his loyal subjects to celebrate by bathing in Pabst Blue Ribbon while listening to Cinderella.

 

The Great One has spoken. We must obey.

 

Does Sir Eric have an album preference? Will Still Climbing work?

[heaven&hell]

The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead, is because they finally let Eric Brittingham into Pakistan

 

True. And Osama wasn't shot in the head, as was officially reported, either. What really happened? Eric Brittingham crashed into the room, pointed his finger at Osama, said "BOO-YA," and Osama's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

 

[Fat Freddy]

Years ago, Eric Brittingham sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and bad-ass bass playing ability. Shortly after the deal was finalized, Eric Brittingham kicked the Devil's ass and took his soul back. The Devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he "should've seen it coming." The two are now good friends and play poker every other Wednesday night.

 

Eric Brittingham's sperm can be seen without the aid of a microscope. Each is the size of a quarter.

 

Eric Brittingham's penis is a 3rd degree black belt, and an honorary 32nd degree Freemason.

 

Eric Brittingham makes his own moonshine out of yeast, gasoline, and people.

 

Eric Brittingham can drink ice cold Slurpees all day long and never get a brain freeze, because Slurpees know when to back the f**k off.

 

Microsoft has released a new Anti-Virus removal tool called Eric Brittingham. The tool sits on your hard drive and dares viruses to enter.

 

Eric Brittingham's Rice Krispies don't say "Snap, crackle, pop." They say "Shhhh! Oh sh*t, here he comes!"

[Geoff]

Years ago, Eric Brittingham sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and bad-ass bass playing ability. Shortly after the deal was finalized, Eric Brittingham kicked the Devil's ass and took his soul back. The Devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he "should've seen it coming." The two are now good friends and play poker every other Wednesday night.

 

Eric Brittingham's sperm can be seen without the aid of a microscope. Each is the size of a quarter.

 

Eric Brittingham's penis is a 3rd degree black belt, and an honorary 32nd degree Freemason.

 

Eric Brittingham makes his own moonshine out of yeast, gasoline, and people.

 

Eric Brittingham can drink ice cold Slurpees all day long and never get a brain freeze, because Slurpees know when to back the f**k off.

 

Microsoft has released a new Anti-Virus removal tool called Eric Brittingham. The tool sits on your hard drive and dares viruses to enter.

 

Eric Brittingham's Rice Krispies don't say "Snap, crackle, pop." They say "Shhhh! Oh sh*t, here he comes!"

Some of the best yet. Oh, how I laugh.

[eaglesfan3000]

Now I know why I haven't been sleeping well lately.

[Fat Freddy]

Harold Camping's prediction that the world was supposed to end on May 21st was actually true. However, the Rapture did not occur because Eric Brittingham will not allow it until he's finished building this giant Ship In A Bottle Kit he just won on eBay:

 

[Glen]

Eric Brittingham's Rice Krispies don't say "Snap, crackle, pop." They say "Shhhh! Oh sh*t, here he comes!"

 

:-)

[Fat Freddy]

They say that every man has a little child inside them. This is also true of Eric Brittingham. He ate one just this morning.

 

Eric Brittingham once stabbed a grizzly bear to death ... with a basketball.

 

Eric Brittingham removed his own kidney stone and threw it into outer space. Today we know that kidney stone as the Death Star.

 

If Eric Brittingham "pokes" you on Facebook, you die in real life.

 

Eric Brittingham can cut through a hot knife with butter.

 

Eric Brittingham can eat Chinese food with only one chop stick.

 

Eric Brittingham never flushes the toilet. He scares the sh*t out of it.

 

Eric Brittingham can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

 

Eric Brittingham likes his meat extremely rare. Like, say, unicorns.

 

Eric Brittingham's urine is capable of welding titanium.

 

Anyone can pee on the floor, but Eric Brittingham can poop on the ceiling.

 

Eric Brittingham can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words... but mainly, just kill you softly with his song.

 

When Eric Brittingham wants a steak, cows gladly line up to volunteer.

 

Eric Brittingham didn't lose his virginity -- he knows exactly where he left it.

 

When Barack Obama says "Yes we can!", he then mumbles, "...as long as Eric Brittingham says it's OK."

[Fat Freddy]

The movie "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" was originally supposed to be "Eric Brittingham, Vampire Hunter." Eric would've played the title role himself but the producers couldn't afford his asking price of five million zillion billion dollars.

 

How much wood would Eric Brittingham chuck if Eric Brittingham could chuck wood? Oh, wait, he can. (*BONK*) OW! EVERYBODY RUN FOR IT!!

 

Eric Brittingham won the Wimbledon championship tennis trophy using a feather as a racket.

 

Eric Brittingham finished the Neverending Story, and the Everlasting Gobstopper.

 

Eric Brittingham has no need for a bank card or PIN number. ATM machines automatically spit out cash when he approaches them out of sheer terror.

 

At the end of the "Twilight Saga" films, there will be only one Team... Team Brittingham.

 

Eric Brittingham will not melt in your mouth, nor in your hand. He will, however, destroy your trachea with a boiling hot combination of chocolate, whiskey and death.

[cdjunky41]

Mosquitos don't bite Eric Brittingham, He bites them..

[Fat Freddy]

There are no Cinderella songs in the "Rock of Ages" movie because Eric Brittingham wanted to take his payment in the form of a threesome with Julianne Hough and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

[JamesEagle]

lol, just found out this thread, keep it up man

Hear, hear! I really hope Eric Brittingham reads this thread!

[glam_junkie]

Eric Brittinghman turned down the lead vocals position in Tigertailz in favour of basking in his own aura.

[Doksdad]

Eric Brittingham is Marshall's sun repellant. It repels everything. Including Marshall.

[Fat Freddy]

The Democratic and Republican parties both wanted to nominate Eric Brittingham for President, but he turned them both down.