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Hey Geoff..........as for future questions............will I EVER get this freaking cell phone set up????????????????

 

 

:crying:

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Can you teleport???? It'd get me to the pub quicker.

 

Or have the elves taken over like the apes did..."Planet of the Elves" ???

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Firstly, this thread excites a place in my pants. Secondly, thirdly, fourthly and so on:

 

What's the future like?

 

There are elves, people and trees. Squirrels and plenty of armadillos. Gravity and all that jive is no longer... love is what spins the world around. I know Jesus on a first name basis and most importantly, you are "Still at it". Jani just went to the fridge to get me some yoghurt. His belly and throat hurt after reciting a stirring acoustic rendition of his classic 'April 2031' to me. I still haven't caught the mouse that crawled inside my shoe. But I'll get him... I have time and a questionable dark mole on my side. Excuse me, Jani's coming back. He brought me a fried duck foot.

 

Are there norks for everyone?

 

Only for the beautiful people. Sorry Pete. I'll post some pictures for you. :P

 

Hey Geoff..........as for future questions............will I EVER get this freaking cell phone set up????????????????

:crying:

 

Sorry MJ, but no. Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball. When the tears exit his eyes comfort him and say, "I know, dear child, I've, like, so been there before. Just a few hours ago, when I was trying to set up your stupid peice of f*cking shit you call a f*cking phone, you f*cking hamster-strangling hippy! Yeah, I've seen you on the weekend! What the f*ck's your problem?! You think it's funny to run over beavers?? Huh, well I've got f*cking news for you! It's not. They love, just like you and I. We all love. But I'm starting to question whether you really do. Do you know what the f*ck love is?"

 

After that, go to another dealer and ask them to set the phone up for you as you wait. Or you'll get Geoff onto 'em.

 

Can you teleport???? It'd get me to the pub quicker.

 

Or have the elves taken over like the apes did..."Planet of the Elves" ???

 

Correct, Nick. Teleporting is now the only way to get to a pub. If you try to "walk" or "drive" there, the elves get you. I've seen what they do to humans, and quite frankly... I've seen more kindness in an electric chair.

 

"Planet of the Elves" ???

A film "short" perhaps?

 

I'm currently working on the script. I was just looking for a star. Are you free for a few months, Pete? :P Bring the christmas tree along if you want... just for effect.

 

really  <_<  who are you?

 

I'm Geoff.

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I have $5000 just laying around.  What should I do with it?

 

I will send you my address and you will send me the money. I will guide you as to what to do with it once it is in my bank account. I must warn you, though, my bank account is very hungry. But yeah, just send it my way mate. Paypal's cool too.

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Geoff, will I ever get the girl that doe's "Everything"? ;)

 

No. Sorry mate.

 

They're all too busy making videos for our enjoyment... but is it really enjoyment, or just plain f*cking torture?

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Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball.

 

 

Bullsh*t Geoff... that's what you told Russell Crowe and look where it got him!

 

:lol: Yeah, you're right there. It got him the bloody Rabbitohs!!! How could you ask for worse than that??? :lol: (Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)

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Hey Geoff, ...would your life have been different if you were named "Jeff" instead of "Geoff"?

 

I really don't know. I may have been even more handsome, and not had this homosexual reputation preceed me wherever I go. Who can say for sure? Only my new buddy Jesus can really know for sure.

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Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball.

 

 

Bullsh*t Geoff... that's what you told Russell Crowe and look where it got him!

 

:lol: Yeah, you're right there. It got him the bloody Rabbitohs!!! How could you ask for worse than that??? :lol: (Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)

 

 

Sorry Geoff, I'm from SA so to me the "Rabbitohs" sound more like a breakfast cereal than a football team.

 

"Start every morning with a nutritious bowl of Rabbit-O's and pretty soon you'll be breeding like a rabbit... o...ohhh.....ohhh"

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Hey Geoff, ...would your life have been different if you were named "Jeff" instead of "Geoff"?

 

I really don't know. I may have been even more handsome, and not had this homosexual reputation preceed me wherever I go. Who can say for sure? Only my new buddy Jesus can really know for sure.

 

 

I think you would probably be far wealthier. Just think everytime you have written the name "Geoff" when you could have been writing "Jeff"... that's an extrra letter everytime you have ever written/typed your name.

 

Just say you write or type you name 20 times per day, at 365 dasys per year thats 7300 times per year, which by the time you're 40 is 292,000 ...extra letters you have written. If it takes 1 second per letter that would be 81.1 hours of life you hvae wasted!

 

Now, taking into account that 'time is money' ...ff your earn say $25 per hour, simply due to the spelling of your name it has cost you $2027.77.

Add onto that the extra pencils, pen ink, printer ink you have used and your parents have probably cost you $2500 cos of the spelling of your name.

 

At $30 a carton, this has hence cost you 83.3 cartons of beer, or 1999.99 can/bottles of beer... which is a hell of a good time and good looking women.

 

So unfortunately Geoff, I believe you life would have been far better if your parents only had the sense to spell your name correctly.

 

FOr this reason I am changing my name by depol from 'Lindsay' to 'L'.

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Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball.

 

 

Bullsh*t Geoff... that's what you told Russell Crowe and look where it got him!

 

:lol: Yeah, you're right there. It got him the bloody Rabbitohs!!! How could you ask for worse than that??? :lol: (Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)

 

 

Sorry Geoff, I'm from SA so to me the "Rabbitohs" sound more like a breakfast cereal than a football team.

 

"Start every morning with a nutritious bowl of Rabbit-O's and pretty soon you'll be breeding like a rabbit... o...ohhh.....ohhh"

 

Firstly, why the hell are the quotes not working for these replies?

 

Secondly, allow me to amend this: "(Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)" ... this should have read: (Aussie reference no one outside of NSW, Australia will understand).

 

You haven't heard of the South Sydney Rabbitoh's? Wow, you foreign-state-ers are well out of touch with reality. I have a few buddies from SA. Odd folk down there.

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Hey Geoff, ...would your life have been different if you were named "Jeff" instead of "Geoff"?

 

I really don't know. I may have been even more handsome, and not had this homosexual reputation preceed me wherever I go. Who can say for sure? Only my new buddy Jesus can really know for sure.

 

 

I think you would probably be far wealthier. Just think everytime you have written the name "Geoff" when you could have been writing "Jeff"... that's an extrra letter everytime you have ever written/typed your name.

 

Just say you write or type you name 20 times per day, at 365 dasys per year thats 7300 times per year, which by the time you're 40 is 292,000 ...extra letters you have written. If it takes 1 second per letter that would be 81.1 hours of life you hvae wasted!

 

Now, taking into account that 'time is money' ...ff your earn say $25 per hour, simply due to the spelling of your name it has cost you $2027.77.

Add onto that the extra pencils, pen ink, printer ink you have used and your parents have probably cost you $2500 cos of the spelling of your name.

 

At $30 a carton, this has hence cost you 83.3 cartons of beer, or 1999.99 can/bottles of beer... which is a hell of a good time and good looking women.

 

So unfortunately Geoff, I believe you life would have been far better if your parents only had the sense to spell your name correctly.

 

FOr this reason I am changing my name by depol from 'Lindsay' to 'L'.

 

That's actually some f*cking top logic there. I'm going to sue my parents for the money they owe me. I apologise for the life you must be living with 7 letters in your name. I realised my life was on a downhill slalom when I used to be called Geoffrey, so I changed that quick. I've been thinking of calling myself G for a long time. It fits in well because I'm an original hard core gangster from the streets of hood. I kick it regularly too, which is sort of working in my favour.

 

L works good for you. It matches your eyes.

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I have $5000 just laying around.  What should I do with it?

 

I will send you my address and you will send me the money. I will guide you as to what to do with it once it is in my bank account. I must warn you, though, my bank account is very hungry. But yeah, just send it my way mate. Paypal's cool too.

Okay G, let for conversations sake say that I did not send you the money directly but rather took your advice and invested it. I of course would give you your 35% so what should I do with the money? If you say blow it on a trip, I will gladly share with you the 35% of the fun that I have or 35% of the air sickness whichever is greater....

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Okay, sounds cool to me. I will take my $1750 for initial investment now, and then I'll take whatever interest I get on a monthly basis, after you cover the difference for the input of the $5000. Thanks heaps mate, I can't wait to see that $1750 hit my bank account. I appreciate it a lot. Cheers.

 

BTW, I get really sick when I fly too, and my ears get absolutely ass-raped. I wonder if my name was Jeff if this stuff would still happen to me?

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Okay, sounds cool to me. I will take my $1750 for initial investment now, and then I'll take whatever interest I get on a monthly basis, after you cover the difference for the input of the $5000. Thanks heaps mate, I can't wait to see that $1750 hit my bank account. I appreciate it a lot. Cheers.

 

BTW, I get really sick when I fly too, and my ears get absolutely ass-raped. I wonder if my name was Jeff if this stuff would still happen to me?

You could always stuff the G and the O in your ears to drive away all the ass rapers.... :axe:

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I was speaking to your dad the other day and I asked how he came up with a name for you and he told me that it goes back to the day you were born.

 

Apparently you were delivered on the loungeroom floor, and it was quite a scene. When your dad saw how dirty you were and that you were laying on his freshly cleaned carpet he screamed "Ge-off the fkn carpet!". Needless to say this caused you to cry. Rumour has it that your mum then turned around to you whilst you were crying and screamed "Would Je-FFukn shut your face!"

 

And hence, the story of how Geoff/Jeff/J got his name.

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