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Hey Geoff


JustJason

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Hey Geoff.........I need to know.........

 

 

Is there a chance I could be more handsome than I already am?

If our arms "accidentally" brush against each other's during a chance encounter, then yes, brother, yes you will be more handsome.

 

Hey Geoff I need to know...will any of us ever get to be as Handsome as

Cliff Richard...Your Idol....

No. He's a... uh, one of a kind.

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Hey Geoff I recently shaved my beard off and I realised that I was one handsome man.

 

So my question is should I stay clean shaven or should I save on razors and let the beard grow back?

 

 

Signed:

 

Your Cousin- Wessington.

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Hey Geoff I recently shaved my beard off and I realised that I was one handsome man.

 

So my question is should I stay clean shaven or should I save on razors and let the beard grow back?

 

 

Signed:

 

Your Cousin- Wessington.

Hey cousin,

 

That's a hard call. I've often been told I'm at my most handsome with about 3-5 days growth on my face. Not a full beard obviously, but sort of halfway inbetween. This way, I do save on razors, plus I look dashingly handsome until I have to shave after 7 days, when I just go back to looking very handsome, instead of dashingly. So maybe you want to try this? A halfway solution. I've been told full beards are the height of unnatractiveness.

 

Sincerely,

 

Cousin Geoff

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Geoff, what if, when squeezing norks, one nipple happens to fall off? What would the great Geoffington do?

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Geoff if you really had to, could you live up a tree? I'm not sure I could.

 

Yours in anticipation

 

Nick

 

Yes, Mine in Anticipation, I could definitely live up a tree. I have a lot of experience in dealing with large, hard and erect objects. Plus, I like leaves and how they feel against my bare cheeks. Both sets.

 

Geoff when squeezing Norks should one squeeze with the left or right hand if it's a Thursday night and there is nothin to do and the power is out...

For best effect, one would be advised to use both one's right AND left hand so that no nork is left unattended.

 

Geoff, what if, when squeezing norks, one nipple happens to fall off? What would the great Geoffington do?

Geoffington keeps a sewing kit in his hair. But he does not expect to encounter this problem.

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Geoff, Cheez Puffs are orange, does that mean that they are rich in Vitamin C and therefore part of a balanced diet? My wife says "no", please settle this argument before they run out of 'em at Wal-Mart.

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Geoff, Cheez Puffs are orange, does that mean that they are rich in Vitamin C and therefore part of a balanced diet? My wife says "no", please settle this argument before they run out of 'em at Wal-Mart.

Pete, my dear child. I am pleased to let you know that yes, of course they are rich in Vitamin C. In fact, from what I've heard... they actually are overweight Vitamin C tablets.

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Geoff - I think people are constantly laughing at me behind my back, my wife says it's nonsense but the voices in my head disagree....who's right?

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Dear Geoff,

 

I fear one of my dogs has lost his mind. Everytime I look at him, he is grinning this evil grin. Part of me feels like he is just happy, but the other says he has some maniacal plot in place to rule over mankind. I ask and he says that I am just paranoid, but I can't be sure. This would not be the first time he has tried to take over the world. A few years back he ordered a nuclear warhead off Ebay and tried to detonate it in a Petsmart. Luckily a poodle named Audrey shook her tail at him and distracted him long enough for a pair of cockatiels to fly the warhead into space and blow it up. Crazy, brave cockatiels. There were feathers everywhere. I have written to the experts at Animal Planet and received no reply. What's your take on this?

 

Forever Grateful

ZooKeeper Jason

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Hey Geoff:

How can I convince Mariah Carey to drop the restraining order she currently has against me? She ignores my letters, doesn't return my calls, and her bodyguards have subdued me with Tasers and pepper spray on numerous occasions. What's a poor guy to do?

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Hey Geoff:

How can I convince Mariah Carey to drop the restraining order she currently has against me? She ignores my letters, doesn't return my calls, and her bodyguards have subdued me with Tasers and pepper spray on numerous occasions. What's a poor guy to do?

:yikes: ...She still is holding a grudge against you?? Man she won't let the past go ,huh?

I feel sorry that she has put you through all this...If anyone can help, It would be Geoff!!

Geoff...PLEASE REPLY RIGHT NOW!!! It is Urgent!!! :unsure:

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So many open unanswered letters to Geoff!! He should be ashamed, fancying himself the Aussie Dear Abby. SHAME SHAME!! :tsk:

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Geoff - I think people are constantly laughing at me behind my back, my wife says it's nonsense but the voices in my head disagree....who's right?

The elves find your buttocks enchanting and they express their glee and fascination in form of nervous laughter as they follow you. Don’t be alarmed, and assure those voices in your innocent and precious head that it’s just an elf custom.

 

Dear Geoff,

 

I fear one of my dogs has lost his mind. Everytime I look at him, he is grinning this evil grin. Part of me feels like he is just happy, but the other says he has some maniacal plot in place to rule over mankind. I ask and he says that I am just paranoid, but I can't be sure. This would not be the first time he has tried to take over the world. A few years back he ordered a nuclear warhead off Ebay and tried to detonate it in a Petsmart. Luckily a poodle named Audrey shook her tail at him and distracted him long enough for a pair of cockatiels to fly the warhead into space and blow it up. Crazy, brave cockatiels. There were feathers everywhere. I have written to the experts at Animal Planet and received no reply. What's your take on this?

 

Forever Grateful

ZooKeeper Jason

Sorry Jason, but your fears are valid. I have heard through the pugvine that he is indeed planning to begin his dominance over mankind in coming months. To be honest, I don’t think there’s any way we can prevent this. Simply pat his head when the opportunity arises and wiggle your fingers in front of his squished up cute little nose. He will take this as a sign of submission and may spare you from slavery when his reign begins. Do beware, sweet child. Do beware.

 

Geoff is it true Pink Drinks make you the stud you are?? Also, Is it difficult being so

magnanimously charming and svelte?

Pink drinks helped my lips to become the most desired the planet’s known. Pink drinks are the reason a poster of my lips is featured on every teenage girl’s wall wordwide. It is not difficult being so magnanimously charming and svelte. It’s a very natural and comforting feeling for me.

 

Hey Geoff:

How can I convince Mariah Carey to drop the restraining order she currently has against me? She ignores my letters, doesn't return my calls, and her bodyguards have subdued me with Tasers and pepper spray on numerous occasions. What's a poor guy to do?

Don’t you worry, Keith. I’ll have a chat with Mariah when she comes over to my place on Wednesday night for my foot massage. After the massage we’ll have tea (served on her norks) and then we’ll discuss rock music, and then I’ll demand she drop this distasteful restraining order against you. Time to throw away those binoculars my good buddy.

 

Hey Geoff:

How can I convince Mariah Carey to drop the restraining order she currently has against me? She ignores my letters, doesn't return my calls, and her bodyguards have subdued me with Tasers and pepper spray on numerous occasions. What's a poor guy to do?

:yikes: ...She still is holding a grudge against you?? Man she won't let the past go ,huh?

I feel sorry that she has put you through all this...If anyone can help, It would be Geoff!!

Geoff...PLEASE REPLY RIGHT NOW!!! It is Urgent!!! :unsure:

Consider this matter closed, and taken care of.

 

PLEASE REPLY NOW!!!

Sure, Pete. :wub:

 

So many open unanswered letters to Geoff!! He should be ashamed, fancying himself the Aussie Dear Abby. SHAME SHAME!! :tsk:

Being as handsome as I am, I often find that I am a prisoner of my stunning allure when the weekend comes. It’s hard for my people to leave me to a moment before my PC.

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Geoff...Is it really ribbed for her pleasure?

Turn it inside out and it's ribbed for your pleasure! Amiright?! High fives.

 

To answer your question, though, it's not ribbed for her pleasure. It's ribbed for the pleasure of the lucky bastard "test dummies" who get to test them out.

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Hey Geoff, I need to know. Why is Sam such an asshole?

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Hey Geoff, I need to know. Why is Sam such an asshole?

Sorry dood, not sure even I can answer this one. He sort of answers it for himself everytime he makes a post. The only reason I can offer is that Eric Brittingham had a momentary lapse in concentration, caused by something awesome I did, when he designed each human.

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Hey Geoff:

 

Will Eric Brittingham ever teach Sam the error of his ways?

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Hey Geoff:

 

Will Eric Brittingham ever teach Sam the error of his ways?

I think in a world where Eric Brittingham is truly capable of everything, we have found one thing not encompassed in the "every" part of everything. I just hope for Sam's sake he and Eric Brittingham never meet in a dark place, for I fear what results may come of that meeting.

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