Hey Geoff

[Geoff]

Hey Geoff,

 

What tips can you give the rest of us guys about following in your footsteps to be the next "Sexiest Man".

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Well, unfrotunately... I don't think there will be any "next" sexiest man. Unfortunately there is and can be only one. It begins and ends with me. I've mentioned to Pete before that I have a book out on the shelves called 'Be like Geoff - You won't regret it'. I can advise purchasing a copy of that, but as I said to Pete... I can't promise you'll ever be like me at all - not even my shadow... but the world loves a dreamer. Dream on, dear child, dream on.

[Geoff]

I was speaking to your dad the other day and I asked how he came up with a name for you and he told me that it goes back to the day you were born.

 

Apparently you were delivered on the loungeroom floor, and it was quite a scene. When your dad saw how dirty you were and that you were laying on his freshly cleaned carpet he screamed "Ge-off the fkn carpet!". Needless to say this caused you to cry. Rumour has it that your mum then turned around to you whilst you were crying and screamed "Would Je-FFukn shut your face!"

 

And hence, the story of how Geoff/Jeff/J got his name.

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I heard they said, "Gee, Off*ckin' never saw anything that good lookin' in my life. Let's call it Geoff!"

 

At least that's what mum and dad told me. Plus, in German-Arabic the name Geoff means: 'Angelic form sent from heavens, because he was so much better looking that everyone else up in heaven, so they sent him away. He's just that handsome.'

[Swazi]

Plus, in German-Arabic the name Geoff means: 'Angelic form sent from heavens, because he was so much better looking that everyone else up in heaven, so they sent him away. He's just that handsome.'

 

Germans would never utter such crap !!

 

And German-Arabic .... what on earth is this ???

 

Nice try, Geoff !!

[Blue Charvel]

Hey Geoff,

 

What tips can you give the rest of us guys about following in your footsteps to be the next "Sexiest Man".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Well, unfrotunately... I don't think there will be any "next" sexiest man. Unfortunately there is and can be only one. It begins and ends with me. I've mentioned to Pete before that I have a book out on the shelves called 'Be like Geoff - You won't regret it'. I can advise purchasing a copy of that, but as I said to Pete... I can't promise you'll ever be like me at all - not even my shadow... but the world loves a dreamer. Dream on, dear child, dream on.

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That is so cool of you not to crush our dreams, thanks brother!

[Fat Freddy]

Hey Geoff:

This is cool, it's like your own advice column. I've always wanted to ask someone from Australia this question:

 

WHAT THE HELL IS IN A "VEGEMITE SANDWICH?"

[JustJason]

Hey Geoff, I need 5 numbers 55 or under and 1 number 42 or under to use for the Powerball tomorrow. What numbers should I play?

[Blue Charvel]

55 or under

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Ironic, considering it's usually 55 and overs you deal with...

[JustJason]

55 or under

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Ironic, considering it's usually 55 and overs you deal with...

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Rim shot please!!!!

[Geoff]

Hey Geoff,

 

What tips can you give the rest of us guys about following in your footsteps to be the next "Sexiest Man".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Well, unfrotunately... I don't think there will be any "next" sexiest man. Unfortunately there is and can be only one. It begins and ends with me. I've mentioned to Pete before that I have a book out on the shelves called 'Be like Geoff - You won't regret it'. I can advise purchasing a copy of that, but as I said to Pete... I can't promise you'll ever be like me at all - not even my shadow... but the world loves a dreamer. Dream on, dear child, dream on.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

That is so cool of you not to crush our dreams, thanks brother!

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That's part of what makes me me. I like to keep the dream alive.

[Geoff]

Hey Geoff:

This is cool, it's like your own advice column. I've always wanted to ask someone from Australia this question:

 

WHAT THE HELL IS IN A "VEGEMITE SANDWICH?"

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Hey Freddy... a "vegemite sandwich' is a sandwich with vegemite on it.

 

Vegemite is black spreadable crap that tastes like salty hell.

 

Bread is made from dough.

 

Hope that helps mate.

[Geoff]

Hey Geoff, I need 5 numbers  55 or under and 1 number 42 or under to use for the Powerball tomorrow. What numbers should I play?

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Did you choose the winning ones? Sorry, didn't get to my computer over the weekend, or I'd have been ableo to advise those numbers that won. I win powerball all the time.

[hardrock80srule]

Why ever time I bid on this Boss Cd on Ebay that I dont win and it keeps getting higher? Why ?

[glam_junkie]

hope you realise it's a bootleg you're bidding on cos BOSS has never been released on CD (officially).

[Geoff]

Why ever time I bid on this Boss Cd on Ebay that I dont win and it keeps getting higher? Why ?

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Sorry mate, but people keep bidding higher than you. Therefore the amount keeps getting higher. This is so, because people place higher bids than you.

 

My suggestion, find someone with a CDR and trade a copy.

[Fat Freddy]

Hey Geoff:

This is cool, it's like your own advice column. I've always wanted to ask someone from Australia this question:

 

WHAT THE HELL IS IN A "VEGEMITE SANDWICH?"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hey Freddy... a "vegemite sandwich' is a sandwich with vegemite on it.

 

Vegemite is black spreadable crap that tastes like salty hell.

 

Bread is made from dough.

 

Hope that helps mate.

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Thank you oh great one. That has bugged me ever since I first heard "Down Under" by Men At Work...

 

If I have any other questions about Australia I hope that you will be there to answer my queries!

[swriter]

Dear Geoff, what is my middle name?

 

HAHAHAHAHA

[Li§a]

Hey Geoff:

WHAT THE HELL IS IN A "VEGEMITE SANDWICH?"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hey Freddy... a "vegemite sandwich' is a sandwich with vegemite on it.

 

Vegemite is black spreadable crap that tastes like salty hell.

 

Bread is made from dough.

 

Hope that helps mate.

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Looks foul!

[Geoff]

Dear Geoff, what is my middle name?

 

HAHAHAHAHA

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Ian.

 

If not, James.

[Geoff]

Hey Geoff:

WHAT THE HELL IS IN A "VEGEMITE SANDWICH?"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hey Freddy... a "vegemite sandwich' is a sandwich with vegemite on it.

 

Vegemite is black spreadable crap that tastes like salty hell.

 

Bread is made from dough.

 

Hope that helps mate.

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Looks foul!

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It is foul... I hate the stuff. I don't get how people actually like it.

 

And Freddy, yes please... throw any questions about Australia, life, love, women, antennas, breasts, tangled and sordid love affairs, sex with animals, trash talk... send it all my way mate, always glad to help. I live to help, and give... and love.

[glam_junkie]

Dear Geoff....

 

The other day I was walking along the footpath on the way to pick up a Noisetoyz cd and I found an orange. It didn't have a name on it so I picked it up and gave it to the parrot sitting at the bus station. The statue of Ronald McDonald thanked me for my generosity and suggested I take the No 51 bus to the city, although before long I jumped off the bus and skated back to the beach, travelling via the shoe shop so I could crop off my calculator for a tune-up.

 

It wasn't until I passed by the playground that I remembered what I had eaten for dinner the night before, which made me smile and remember all those great times I'd had back in the summer of '64. The speed hump didn't agree so I ran it over before making contact with my older-self teleported from the future. I told myself that I too could be like myself oneday if I only followed my example set by myself. Ironically I was wearing 2 left shoes, and a glove with the fingertips cutout.....

 

Confused... I was, for only the rock stuck between my toes knew where I had hidden the tv remote. Without a tv remote how could I start the car and dry my hair? I needed to start the car so I could go and get the cats attention. Dipping my cup into the guru's pool of knowledge I transgressed, only to find myself on cloud-10 eating a bowl of sugared peanuts. The seagull told me cloud-9 was full and it had split it's silver lining, so cloud-10 was the in place to be until the 2nd coming of the easter bilby.

 

On the way home I stopped on the island of "lost". Cafefull not to tell them how to escape. I was voted of at tribal council before finally scoring the winning touch-down in the wimbeldon final. It was a long day but before long I was back home packing apples into my toaster.

 

Goeff, could you please explain to my.... why did I want a noisetoyz cd?

[hardrock80srule]

hope you realise it's a bootleg you're bidding on cos BOSS has never been released on CD (officially).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Well for the sake of another Heated thread as I know that could easily get started Ill say I suspected but Damn the Tracks I could play were so damn good that I couldnt resist bidding. Hell I would be more than happy to get a cdr from anyone wanting to send one

[Geoff]

Glam Junkie, there are several explanations for your dilema:

 

1. You wanted the Noize Toyz CD because you thought you might like the music on it.

 

2. You wanted the CD because the orange told you to buy it... or it would citrus you to death.

 

3. You wanted the CD because the parrot threatened to peck you to death if you didn't buy it.

 

4. You wanted the CD because the reason you were taking your calculator back to the shoe shop was because it was broken, and ordering you to get the CD instead of presenting the numbers 80085 like you wanted it to... which if you look at on a calculator screen, it looks like BOOBS, which is really, really cool.

 

5. You wanted the CD because your future self, though much less attractive than your present self and completely obbsessed with Geoff and all that is he, told you that you like the CD and you needed to own it.

 

6. You wanted the CD because the seagul threatened to eat your cat if you didn't buy it.

 

7. You wanted the CD because it was the immunity idol and with it you wouldn't have been voted out at tribal council.

 

8. You wanted the CD because you wanted to pack it into your toaster instead of apples.

 

Hope that helps mate.

[glam_junkie]

yes, that helps immensely!

 

oh, and on calculators.... type these and then turn your calculator upside down.

 

5317707

5318008

[Geoff]

yes, that helps immensely!

 

oh, and on calculators.... type these and then turn your calculator upside down.

 

5317707

5318008

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To me, BOOBIES are LOLLIES.

[Swazi]

Hey Geoff:

WHAT THE HELL IS IN A "VEGEMITE SANDWICH?"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Hey Freddy... a "vegemite sandwich' is a sandwich with vegemite on it.

 

Vegemite is black spreadable crap that tastes like salty hell.

 

Bread is made from dough.

 

Hope that helps mate.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Looks foul!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

It is foul... I hate the stuff. I don't get how people actually like it.

 

And Freddy, yes please... throw any questions about Australia, life, love, women, antennas, breasts, tangled and sordid love affairs, sex with animals, trash talk... send it all my way mate, always glad to help. I live to help, and give... and love.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Maybe you prefer this, Geoff !?!?