The F*%K Thread

[whiplash1972]

12 hours ago, Fat Freddy said:

Well, fuckin' A... it's been a while. How the fuck is everybody doin'? 

I gotta go to fucking work, but other than that, fucking fine! 👍 

Good to see you back on HH Mr Abt! 

[lettard]

Was off work today...thank fuck! Now i'm headin' to the Fucking bar 

[KarpetRydOFunk]

3 minutes ago, lettard said:

Was off work today...thank fuck! Now i'm headin' to the Fucking bar 

Have a few for me, you old fuck. 

[Fat Freddy]

5 hours ago, whiplash1972 said:

I gotta go to fucking work, but other than that, fucking fine! 👍 

Good to see you back on HH Mr Abt! 

 

I wasn't sure if I even remembered my fuckin password after all this time

[Thomas/Coastline]

I got banned from a guitar forum so I'm gonna stop this Goddamn OCD/asking/shameful self-plugging shit by taking medication. Fuark it. ; )

[Darkstone]

5 hours ago, Thomas/Coastline said:

I got banned from a guitar forum so I'm gonna stop this Goddamn OCD/asking/shameful self-plugging shit by taking medication. Fuark it. ; )

Don't worry about it mate.

You can ask your OCD driven, shameful self-plugging shit here, to your hearts content. 

[lettard]

Well fuck me pink and call me fucking Panther

[Thomas/Coastline]

For your information, after cheesy dinner today (Spaghetti Seravecchio), I had some cocoa dusted dark chocolate truffles. Those were so good that my tongue jizzed. I'm off the booze but fuark it, a glass of Port with this would have been very nice. 

[KarpetRydOFunk]

9 hours ago, Thomas/Coastline said:

For your information, after cheesy dinner today (Spaghetti Seravecchio), I had some cocoa dusted dark chocolate truffles. Those were so good that my tongue jizzed. I'm off the booze but fuark it, a glass of Port with this would have been very nice. 

Thank-you for sharing that with us. 

[KarpetRydOFunk]

 

[Thomas/Coastline]

Fuark it. I'm still not fully as aroused as I was before the Goddamn communist-dictatorship virus hit me. It affected One Eyed Trouser Snake in a bad way and I want to sue the Chinese government/laboratory for that.

 

Warm regards,

Thomas McFapperson or Sir Fapsalot, if you like. ; )

[Thomas/Coastline]

So, Tellus is the only planet in the galaxy where there's jizzing going on. The jizzing mechanism started long ago in the sea/water. In the eukaryotic fossil record, sexual reproduction first appeared about 2.0 billion years ago in the Proterozoic Eon, although a later date, 1.2 billion years ago, has also been presented. Nonetheless, all sexually reproducing eukaryotic organisms likely derive from a single-celled common ancestor. Who or what jizzed and made that ancestor? Fuark it, I don't get it.

[Thomas/Coastline]

Now Brian Cox says that the universe existed before the Big Bang. So, we are basically a microscopic world, to an already microscopic world. We are so microscopically small in the grand scheme of the universe, we basically don't even exist to it. Fuark it, it's scary.

Best regards,

Thomas Schallroth

[Darkstone]

3 hours ago, Thomas/Coastline said:

Now Brian Cox says that the universe existed before the Big Bang. So, we are basically a microscopic world, to an already microscopic world. We are so microscopically small in the grand scheme of the universe, we basically don't even exist to it. Fuark it, it's scary.

Best regards,

Thomas Schallroth

We are the Jizz of the universe. 

[Thomas/Coastline]

Let stake a deeper look at the history of ancient Egypt and the Heliopolitan creation myth according to Egyptian cosmogony: Before there was anything, there was Atum, the creator God and main deity of the Egyptian pantheon, who existed by himself. He was surrounded by nothingness, so he decided to put an end to his long solitude and created the world and the rest of the Egyptian gods through fapping. From his jizz emerged the first pair of twin gods, Shu (air god) and Tefnut (moisture goddess). Atum’s jizz was the origin of the world, and fapping the act of creation.

The ancient Egyptians strong belief that male fapping was very important and they were strongly convinced that their main source of livelihood had come from Atum’s jizz, and it was their duty to keep it alive. Pharaohs would perform a ceremony to thank their main god, which involved fapping sessions at the riverbank and making sure that the jizz followed the flow of the river’s waters. This was seen as a good omen and a sign of the continuing life’s cycle, fertility, and the universal order, which would also follow their own course. Fuarkingly interesting. ; )

 

[Thomas/Coastline]

When the medusa, the immortal jellyfish (Turritopsis dohrnii) dies, it sinks to the ocean floor and begins to decay. Amazingly, its cells then reaggregate, not into a new medusa, but into polyps, and from these polyps emerge new jellyfish. The jellyfish has skipped to an earlier life stage to begin again. In other words, no jizzing needed. Fuck it, I thought jizzing was the key element to life. ; )

[Thomas/Coastline]

I still just don't get that. It's sounds like science fiction. (

[Thomas/Coastline]

Fuck it.

 

Volcano jizzes on Iceland’s Reykjanes penisula weeks after town evacuated.

 

[Thomas/Coastline]

The perpetual virginity of Mary is a Christian doctrine that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a virgin "before, during and after" the birth of Christ. In Western Christianity, the Catholic Church adheres to the doctrine, as do some Lutherans, Anglicans, Reformed, and other Protestants.

Fuck it, I don't get this. The Holy Spirit jizzed inside her, or what? 

[Thomas/Coastline]

Regarding Blue Whales, fucking and jizzing: 

Each ejaculation is believed to contain around 20 litres of semen. The blue whale’s genitals are proportional to its imposing size, which can reach up to thirty metres long or so. The animal’s penis measures an average of 2.4 m. Each testicle weighs between 45 and 68 kg, which corresponds to the weight of a harbour porpoise.

Is the amount of sperm simply related to the size of the animal’s body and the size of its genitals? Or is it part of a reproduction strategy?

Both, but it depends on the species. This reproductive strategy consists of males competing with one another by producing large volumes of sperm.

For example, in the North Atlantic right whale, multiple bulls mate with a single cow. Males have enormous testicles – the largest in the animal kingdom – in order to produce an enormous amount of semen. Their two testicles combined weigh nearly one tonne. The more sperm an individual inseminates into the female’s body, the better his chances of fertilizing her egg. In proportion to their size, right whales boast the longest penis of any cetacean, measuring about 13 to 14% of their body length, or about 1.70 m for a 13 m long body. This attribute is believed to allow them to jizz closer to the female’s cervix.

[Thomas/Coastline]

Mary Spender makes me aroused. But she's lesbian I think and I'm most certain she wouldn't like a fucked up Swedish guitarist, jerkoffologist and hoarder. Anyway, great looking and talented lady. ; )

 

 

Edited January 16 by Thomas/Coastline

[whiplash1972]

I immediately thought of @Thomas/Coastline when I saw this birthday cake 😂

[Thomas/Coastline]

I'm taking the OCD medication again, after the holidays. (

[Thomas/Coastline]

Excerpt from chapter 1, about nocturnal emission. 

This is called a wet dream, and it's totally normal — especially during puberty. Sometimes when you sleep, your penis gets hard and you jizz. Maybe you had a sexy dream, or maybe your penis was stimulated when it rubbed against your sheets. Wet dreams are common.

Thomas McFapperson, certified jerkoffologist and author of "Aroused".

 

 

[Metal T]

Thomas,you looking for a new bass player ?  "Pastorbator" is available.....you guys got alot in common.