STRESS RELIEF

[Bubbasmama]

Bunny loveeeeeeee

 

http://www.lebonze.com/playground/bunnylove.htm

 

(can't stop laughing)

OMG......I LOVE that song too.......I'll never be able to listen to it without LMAO again!!!

[Bobbi Flekman]

!!!I did not know that you are into animal sex!!!

[T-BONE]

!!!I did not know that you are into animal sex!!!

MJ likes anything that involves.............. ............Nevermind. She can tell you.

[Bubbasmama]

!!!I did not know that you are into animal sex!!!

MJ likes anything that involves.............. ............Nevermind. She can tell you.

OMG..............YOU............. sh'up shuttin' up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[T-BONE]

!!!I did not know that you are into animal sex!!!

MJ likes anything that involves.............. ............Nevermind. She can tell you.

OMG..............YOU............. sh'up shuttin' up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You do the hokey pokey and you stick it in and out...that's what it's all about

[T-BONE]

It is a portion of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

 

 

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

 

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

 

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

 

 

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

 

 

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

 

 

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

 

 

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

 

 

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

[66 mustang]

> > A man walks into Frederick's of Hollywood to purchase some sheer

> > lingerie for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range

> > from $250 to $500 in price, the more the sheer, the higher the price.

> >

> > He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500 and takes the lingerie

> > home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it

on

> > and model it for him.

> >

> > Upstairs, the wife thinks, I have an idea. It's so sheer that it

might

> > as well be nothing. I'll not put it on and do the modeling naked and

> > return it the next day and get a $500 refund for myself.

> >

> > So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

> >

> > The husband says, Good Heavens!! You'd think that for $500, they'd at

> > least iron it!!

> >

> > He never heard the shot. Funeral services are pending.

[66 mustang]

Three pastors were having lunch in a diner.

 

One said "You know, ever since summer started, I've been having

trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried

everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away!"

 

Another said "Yeah, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and

in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they

won't go away!"

 

The third said, "I baptized all mine and made them members of the

church... Haven't seen one back since!"

[T-BONE]

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) Staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

 

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

 

This is the actual answering machine message for the school:

 

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

 

"To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

 

"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

 

"To complain about what we do - Press 3

 

"To swear at staff members - Press 4

 

"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

 

"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

 

"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

 

"To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8

 

"To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

 

"To complain about school lunches - Press 0

 

"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

 

If you can read this thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a veteran.

[Blue Charvel]

All I can say is...

 

It's about fucking time! I know way too many people who treat their kids like that (nothing is your fault, we'll get you a new teacher), and the sorry excuses for adults they become. Those are the people I DON'T hire...

 

Apologies in advance if I offend anyone!

[T-BONE]

Pure Love

[T-BONE]

Hey MJ...Game For Bubba

 

 

 

Beer Girls

[Bubbasmama]

Hey MJ...Game For Bubba

 

 

 

Beer Girls

Haha.........Leave my Bubba outta this one!!!

 

No beer chicks for him until he's .......... at least 35..........maybe 40.

 

(although...........he says he really digs your avatar, T-Bone!! I'm in trouble...lol...)

[ksymrtn]

Hey MJ...Game For Bubba

 

 

 

Beer Girls

That is soooo funny, I just don't know where you guys find all these things....guess, I am just not a surfer , I have my fav places and I pretty much stick with them...

 

Thanks for the laugh

[Rick]

Damn beer game. I can't get passed 9000. Has anyone gotten to the end yet?? Bubba, any luck??

[Bubbasmama]

Hahaha.........Mama got to 6000.....saw some sexy panties.......but NO.....I won't let him do this one.

 

Just how naky DOES she get, anyway??? If it's just undies......no biggie. BUT....if she goes further......NO!!! You can bet he'll have her butt naked in NO TIME!!!!!!

[Rick]

Broke 10,000 with one of the models, she was topless. My guess is that at 12,000 you might see even more.

[Christine]

A little election humor...

 

URL= http://www.jibjab.com/thisland.html]This Land[/url]

 

 

I have no idea why this link looks so weird, but it works...

[T-BONE]

Some people need a better hobby

 

Turd Birds

 

The origins of "Shit"

 

Ever wonder where the word shit comes from? Well here it is. Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was years ago) by ship. In dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "S.H.I.T" on them which meant to the sailors to "Ship High In Transit." In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

[Bubbasmama]

HAHA.......Perfect timing.......I just got this email, and it follows right up with T-Bone's post!!!

 

 

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

 

Well, it's sh*t ... that's right, sh*t!

 

Sh*t may just be the most functional word in the English language.

 

 

 

Consider:

 

You can get sh*t-faced, Be sh*t-out-of-luck, Or have sh*t for brains.

 

With a little effort, you can get your sh*t together, find a place for your sh*t, or be asked to sh*t or get off the pot.

 

 

 

You can smoke sh*t, buy sh*t, sell sh*t, lose sh*t, find sh*t, forget sh*t,

 

and tell others to eat sh*t.

 

 

 

Some people know their sh*t, while others can't tell the difference

 

between sh*t and shineola.

 

There are lucky sh*ts, dumb sh*ts, and crazy sh*ts. There is bull sh*t,

 

horse sh*t, and chicken sh*t.

 

 

 

You can throw sh*t, sling sh*t, catch sh*t, shoot the sh*t,

 

or duck when the sh*t hits the fan.

 

 

 

You can give a sh*t or serve sh*t on a shingle.

 

You can find yourself in deep sh*t or be happier than a pig in sh*t.

 

 

 

Some days are colder than sh*t, some days are hotter than sh*t,

 

and some days are just plain sh*tty.

 

Some music sounds like sh*t, things can look like sh*t, and there are times when you feel like sh*t.

 

 

 

You can have too much sh*t, not enough sh*t, the right sh*t, the wrong sh*t or a lot of weird sh*t.

 

 

 

You can carry sh*t, have a mountain of sh*t, or find yourself up sh*t creek without a paddle.

 

Sometimes everything you touch turns to sh*t and other times you fall in a bucket of sh*t and come out smelling like a rose.

 

 

 

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

 

And remember, once you know your sh*t, you don't need to know anything else!!

 

You could pass this along, if you give a sh*t, or not do so if you don't give a sh*t!

 

Well, Sh*t, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a sh*t and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of sh*t. But, if you happened to catch a load of sh*t from some sh*t-head..........

 

Well, Sh*t Happens!!!

 

 

Whoa......edited 'cuz I'm a lady.......and I don't say that kind of sh*t!!!

Edited August 25, 2004 by Bubbasmama

[Rockhead]

Hey MJ

 

Actually the most functional word is F**k.

 

"F**kin, F**ker's F**king F**ked".

 

How many other words can make a complete sentence in it's own right

[Bubbasmama]

WHOA, Nick!!! You've heard me on the golf course, huh?????

[Rockhead]

I cannot believe such foul words are sent from such a heavenly mouth!! LOL

[Blue Charvel]

Broke 10,000 with one of the models, she was topless. My guess is that at 12,000 you might see even more.

@#$@##@$%#&**&!!! 11,900...

[Rick]

Hey Blue, still nothing more after 12,000, you can stop cursing for now.