Let's Discuss Eric Brittingham

[Fat Freddy]

Post of the year (even if the year is only 9 days old).

 

Chuck Norris wouldn't think so.

 

These "facts" (and many others) have been incorrectly credited to Chuck Norris, when they should actually be Eric Brittingham Facts. This is why I presented them here, after editing them back to their original Brittingham-intensive state. Eric is pleased with my attempt to set the record straight.

 

Anyone else suddenly wonder what Eric Brittinham's definiton of Bootlegs and the lot is now?

 

There are no such thing as "bootlegs" if they are released by Eric Brittingham. Eric Brittingham is about to re-release every CD ever made on his own label, Eric Brittingham Records, and the RIAA is simply going to let him do it, because he is Eric Brittingham, and they fear him.

[Fat Freddy]

Noah was the only man notified before Eric Brittingham relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

 

Eric Brittingham eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

 

Eric Brittingham doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

 

Fact: Eric Brittingham doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

 

When you say "no one's perfect", Eric Brittingham takes this as a personal insult.

 

Jesus can walk on water, but Eric Brittingham can walk on Jesus.

 

If you're driving down the road and you think Eric Brittingham just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.

 

Eric Brittingham was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

 

When Eric Brittinghamplays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

 

Eric Brittingham drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

 

 

As an infant, Eric Brittingham's parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

 

Eric Brittingham once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

 

Eric Brittingham once ate four 20 lb bowling balls without chewing.

 

Eric Brittingham was banned from competitive bull riding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

 

Eric Brittingham qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

 

Eric Brittingham likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

 

Eric Brittingham uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

 

Think of a hot woman. Eric Brittingham did her.

 

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Eric Brittingham is on.

 

Eric Brittingham starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

[aMetalhead1966]

He is only a bass player...nuthin more...LOL!!!

[Fat Freddy]

Uh-Oh. We have a Brittingham Unbeliever in our midst. I cast thee OUT infidel!

[JustJason]

He is only a bass player...nuthin more...LOL!!!

 

[Geoff]

Fact: Eric Brittingham doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

 

I coughed up a testicles after reading that one.

 

He is only a bass player...nuthin more...LOL!!!

 

R.I.P.

[JustJason]

Eric asked me to post this picture in black & white, because Eric in color causes fainting.

 

 

Eric wants you all to ask yourself if Eric looks happy. Unhappy Eric=Bad. Do not let Eric slip to page 2 again. Eric allows you to live once more. One among us has been burned by Eric. Do not make Eric burn again. How soon will you feel Eric's anger? Do you want to? Probably Not!!!!

[Fat Freddy]

We hear and we obey, oh mighty Eric!!

 

When God said, "let there be light", Eric Brittingham said, "say 'please'."

 

One day Eric Brittingham walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

 

Eric Brittingham uses a night light. Not because Eric Brittingham is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Eric Brittingham.

 

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Eric Brittingham.

 

Eric Brittingham kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Eric Brittingham doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever.

 

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but an Eric Brittingham glare will liquefy your kidneys.

 

Eric Brittingham does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

 

Once you go Brittingham, you are physically unable to go back.

 

Eric Brittingham recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

 

The air around Eric Brittingham is always a balmy 78 degrees.

 

When Eric Brittingham wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

[Geoff]

Eric Brittingham is why I have a long weekend ahead of me. Thank you, Eric Brittingham. I live to serve your hair.

[eaglesfan3000]

 

Now I know why I've stayed out of this topic.

[Fat Freddy]

 

Now I know why I've stayed out of this topic.

 

Welcome to the HOUSE OF BRITTINGHAM, ef3000!

 

I sometimes find it amazing that we've managed to drag this joke out for 20 pages ...

[Geoff]

 

Now I know why I've stayed out of this topic.

 

Welcome to the HOUSE OF BRITTINGHAM, ef3000!

 

I sometimes find it amazing that we've managed to drag this joke out for 20 pages ...

 

We? Joke? Eric Brittingham made this all possible.

[Guest Eric Brittngham]

Do not joke about me. I am the bringer of light. I am the be all and end all. I allow your existence.

 

I command you purchase the new Naked Beggars CD.

 

I approve of this thread. It's creator must be a complete genius. He shall be my appointed one.

[JustJason]

What the hell?

Could it really be?

I wonder.

[Geoff]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

[Chris]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

You need help

[Geoff]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

You need help

Having Eric Brittingham allow me to live for another day is all the help I need.

[Chris]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

You need help

Having Eric Brittingham allow me to live for another day is all the help I need.

Try Dr. Phil!!

[Geoff]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

You need help

Having Eric Brittingham allow me to live for another day is all the help I need.

Try Dr. Phil!!

Dr Phil is one of Eric Brittingham's many puppets. I'd rather go to the puppet master.

[heaven&hell]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

You need help

Having Eric Brittingham allow me to live for another day is all the help I need.

Try Dr. Phil!!

Dr Phil is one of Eric Brittingham's many puppets. I'd rather go to the puppet master.

 

 

 

I think we have an unbeliever in our presence.

[Chris]

It obviously is really Eric Brittingham. I love you, Eric Brittingham.

You need help

Having Eric Brittingham allow me to live for another day is all the help I need.

Try Dr. Phil!!

Dr Phil is one of Eric Brittingham's many puppets. I'd rather go to the puppet master.

 

 

 

I think we have an unbeliever in our presence.

What makes you think that? Geoff is still nuts and Dr. Phil is Oprah's puppet. No one elses.

[Geoff]

I'm nuts about Eric Brittingham.

[heaven&hell]

I'm nuts about Eric Brittingham.

 

 

 

I thought you were nuts about Brokeback Mountain.

[Geoff]

I'm nuts about Eric Brittingham.

I thought you were nuts about Brokeback Mountain.

Correct. I'm nuts about nuts.

[Nick C]

Hang on .... if Eric Brittingham is so cool n tuff, how come his band had the girly, girly, girly and big girly name of sheer unadulterated girlyness of "Cinderella" ....sounds like a bit of a girly girl to me!

 

Yours

 

"The Blasphemer"