manicego Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 "e - Harmony profile" The story on Reuters LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Lindsay Lohan is looking for a lover who does not mind her alleged alcoholism or electronic monitoring bracelet, or so the famously troubled Hollywood actress said in a mock Internet dating profile. Lohan, whose recent breakup with Samantha Ronson has been covered by the media, stars in a dating profile posted online on Monday at FunnyOrDie.com that parodies similar videos created for matchmaking company eHarmony. "I would define my personality as creative, a bit of a night owl," Lohan says in the video. "I'm a workaholic, a shopaholic and according to the state of California, an alcoholic as well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels," she says, with a perky smile. Lohan, who is on probation, was briefly jailed in 2007 for a drunken driving and cocaine possession conviction. She had been arrested the previous May after wrecking her car in Beverly Hills and again in July following a car chase in the Los Angeles beach community of Santa Monica. She was made to wear an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet, a fact that the actress jokingly mentions in her video, which features the jumpy camera work characteristic of eHarmony dating profiles. "We'll crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day I promise you, I never loose my Google hits, just my underwear," the actress says in the video. Lohan starred in the 2004 movie "Mean Girls," which made more than $129 million worldwide at box offices, but in recent years her career faced ups and downs as she battled drug and legal problems. Her latest film, the comedy "Labor Pains," will not have a wide release in U.S. theaters and will instead play on cable channel ABC Family. Lohan's humorous video is the latest comedy piece from FunnyOrDie.com using a Hollywood star to make light of a topic in the news, in this case Lohan's breakup from Ronson. FunnyOrDie.com was created by comedian Will Ferrell and actor/director Adam McKay. Last year, the Web site had celebrity heiress Paris Hilton star in a video mocking presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, a Republican from Arizona, after he used Hilton's image in a campaign ad. Lohan's relationship with Ronson, 31, a celebrity DJ, has been the focus of months of media attention, after they were photographed kissing at the Cannes International Film Festival in May 2008. But they recently broke up, with Lohan appearing on the cover of the latest issue of US Weekly next to her quote that she is "so alone." In her comedy video, Lohan sits on a sofa and reads from the magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullethead Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I'd eat the corn outta her shit...plain & simple Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinsane Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 I'd eat the corn outta her shit...plain & simple Could not have said it better if I tried. (Must say I prefer the redhaired version, buit beggers can't be choosers.) And the advert was humorous, I especially enjoyed the part about how LA has deemed her an alcoholic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob62972 Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Damn.... I would sooooooo tear that up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2023 Gold Donors Metal T Posted April 15, 2009 2023 Gold Donors Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinsane Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... You are loopy my friend. Even on a bad day she is damn good looking and as Cpt. Kirk would say: "They are all good." (I don't know if he really said that but he certainly kept the playing feild wide open.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullethead Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... You are loopy my friend. Even on a bad day she is damn good looking and as Cpt. Kirk would say: "They are all good." (I don't know if he really said that but he certainly kept the playing feild wide open.) Agreed.....you must like hairy asses my friend She's a head case no doubt but i'd spit on it & beat it up for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2023 Gold Donors Metal T Posted April 15, 2009 2023 Gold Donors Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... You are loopy my friend. Sorry...to each their own dude,but the mickey mouse club sh*t doesn't do it for me.Can go to any mall in anytown,usa and see gals there who'd smoke her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoff Posted April 15, 2009 Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 Why the hell is she so desperate for a new lover already? And what's with the ads? Does she really need to bother with that? Also, is she still looking for female lovers, or is she done with that phase? EDIT: Re-reading the thread title, I assume this is all done in jest? Sorry, don't have sound... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2023 Gold Donors Metal T Posted April 15, 2009 2023 Gold Donors Report Share Posted April 15, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... :: you must like hairy asses my friend Nah..sorry dickhead,just prefer women to girls...enjoy your corn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jez Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 Sorry, but Ms. Lohan doesn't do a great deal for me either to be honest. As Metal T says above, I can walk down the street on any given day and see better looking chicks than she! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoff Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 Sorry, but Ms. Lohan doesn't do a great deal for me either to be honest. As Metal T says above, I can walk down the street on any given day and see better looking chicks than she! I definitely agree with that notion. I'll go to Hungry Jacks in this industrial area at lunch and there will still be at least 5 trollops from somewhere that are better looking. Don't get me started on if I go to a mall or the beach... Now, that said, you'd still smash Lohan in a heartbeat. Everything else aside (average skin and average face - though that pink shot is really nice), she does have a fantastic rack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Freddy Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 Lindsay was hotter a few years back... now she looks like someone needs to feed her a sandwich. That "side boob" pic in the first post is pretty scary lookin'. The first pic is much nicer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullethead Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... :: you must like hairy asses my friend Nah..sorry dickhead,just prefer women to girls...enjoy your corn! Dickhead? LOL......Learn to take a joke friend.....I'm gonna go have some corn now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heaven&hell Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... :: you must like hairy asses my friend Nah..sorry dickhead,just prefer women to girls...enjoy your corn! Dickhead? LOL......Learn to take a joke friend.....I'm gonna go have some corn now. Is that cream style corn? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan3000 Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 This is what happens when a full blown hottie goes bad...now she's just a chickenhead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2023 Gold Donors Metal T Posted April 16, 2009 2023 Gold Donors Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... :: you must like hairy asses my friend Nah..sorry dickhead,just prefer women to girls...enjoy your corn! Dickhead? LOL......Learn to take a joke friend.....I'm gonna go have some corn now. Just kiddin' ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullethead Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... :: you must like hairy asses my friend Nah..sorry dickhead,just prefer women to girls...enjoy your corn! Dickhead? LOL......Learn to take a joke friend.....I'm gonna go have some corn now. Is that cream style corn? That kind of made me puke in my mouth a little....LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichieZ Posted April 17, 2009 Report Share Posted April 17, 2009 She has a cute face and good body, I'd take her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted April 17, 2009 Report Share Posted April 17, 2009 How can we be sure that is actually her breast? I mean really, how can we?! So much uncertainty. Seriously though, she would be much more attractive if she wasn't such an idiot. There's a difference between bad girls (oooohhh yeah) and stupid girls (eh)....and, uh, "mean girls". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockposer Posted April 17, 2009 Report Share Posted April 17, 2009 Never heard of her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heaven&hell Posted April 17, 2009 Report Share Posted April 17, 2009 This chick doesn't even get me to half-mast ... :: you must like hairy asses my friend Nah..sorry dickhead,just prefer women to girls...enjoy your corn! Dickhead? LOL......Learn to take a joke friend.....I'm gonna go have some corn now. Is that cream style corn? That kind of made me puke in my mouth a little....LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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