Let's Discuss Eric Brittingham

[Fat Freddy]

"Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Eric Brittingham soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

iPods playing "NIGHT SONGS" plugged into their heads,

and Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed saying "What the f**k is the matter?"

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the shutters, and threw up on the sash (too much egg nog before bed)

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of a Cinderella concert to the objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a Monster Truck sleigh and eight mighty reindeer!

With a long haired bass playin' Rock God of a driver so lively and quick

I knew in a moment, "HOLY SH*T, IT'S ERIC!"

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of his Hell Beast's hoofs

As I drew in my head and was turning around

Down the chimney Eric Brittingham came with a bound!

He was dressed all in purple from his head to his foot

And his hair was slightly blackened from ashes and soot

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His poofy blonde mane was drawn up in a bow

But he didn't have a beard - Eric don't roll that way, yo.

The stump of a joint he had clenched in his teeth

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath

He was purple and godly, a right jolly rock dude

I was struck speechless, while Mama she swooned!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He said not a word but went straight for my beer

Filled my wife's stocking (if you catch my drift) and whispered horrible things in her ear (but she loved it)

Then laying a finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose

He ran to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

ERIC CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A BRITTINGHAM NIGHT!"

 

[heaven&hell]

"Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Eric Brittingham soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

iPods playing "NIGHT SONGS" plugged into their heads,

and Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed saying "What the f**k is the matter?"

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the shutters, and threw up on the sash (too much egg nog before bed)

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of a Cinderella concert to the objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a Monster Truck sleigh and eight mighty reindeer!

With a long haired bass playin' Rock God of a driver so lively and quick

I knew in a moment, "HOLY SH*T, IT'S ERIC!"

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of his Hell Beast's hoofs

As I drew in my head and was turning around

Down the chimney Eric Brittingham came with a bound!

He was dressed all in purple from his head to his foot

And his hair was slightly blackened from ashes and soot

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His poofy blonde mane was drawn up in a bow

But he didn't have a beard - Eric don't roll that way, yo.

The stump of a joint he had clenched in his teeth

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath

He was purple and godly, a right jolly rock dude

I was struck speechless, while Mama she swooned!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He said not a word but went straight for my beer

Filled my wife's stocking (if you catch my drift) and whispered horrible things in her ear (but she loved it)

Then laying a finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose

He ran to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

ERIC CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A BRITTINGHAM NIGHT!"

 

 

Wow that a brought a tear to my eye. Just awesome.

[Fat Freddy]

Dear Eric:

The Road's Still Long, so I'll be climbin' for the rest of my life. It's Hard to Find the Words, because Talk is Cheap, but as long as you are with me the sun will shine Through the Rain.

[Nazz]

This thread is hilarious. I never knew Eric Brittingham was so... "special".

By the way, I hear he personally burns official copies of Cinderella CDs with his lazer eyes to stop them from going out of print.

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Eric Brittingham is inside his body.

 

Eric Brittingham once kicked a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay, Florida... from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California.

 

Eric Brittingham has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

 

If you work in an office with Eric Brittingham, whatever you do, don't ask him for his "three hole punch."

 

Eric Brittingham will be declared the 51st state in 2010. His official State Flower will be the magnolia.

 

70% of an average human's weight is water. 70% of Eric Brittingham's weight is his dick.

 

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, is military code-speak for "Eric Brittingham's basement."

 

Eric Brittingham frequently donates blood to the Red Cross...but not his blood.

 

If Eric Brittingham is late, then time had better slow the f*ck down.

 

Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific Ocean? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. Then one day, Eric Brittingham visited the island and was served a bad pineapple...you can guess the rest.

 

Even if you play them on a tiny black and white television, all Cinderella videos with Eric Brittingham in them will automatically play in high definition widescreen with 6.1 Digital Dolby Sound.

 

Eric Brittingham once smoked a cigarette. The cigarette died of Eric Brittingham Cancer.

[Geoff]

Eric Brittingham does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Eric Brittingham is inside his body.

 

Eric Brittingham once kicked a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay, Florida... from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California.

 

Eric Brittingham has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

 

If you work in an office with Eric Brittingham, whatever you do, don't ask him for his "three hole punch."

 

Eric Brittingham will be declared the 51st state in 2010. His official State Flower will be the magnolia.

 

70% of an average human's weight is water. 70% of Eric Brittingham's weight is his dick.

 

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, is military code-speak for "Eric Brittingham's basement."

 

Eric Brittingham frequently donates blood to the Red Cross...but not his blood.

 

If Eric Brittingham is late, then time had better slow the f*ck down.

 

Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific Ocean? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. Then one day, Eric Brittingham visited the island and was served a bad pineapple...you can guess the rest.

 

Even if you play them on a tiny black and white television, all Cinderella videos with Eric Brittingham in them will automatically play in high definition widescreen with 6.1 Digital Dolby Sound.

 

Eric Brittingham once smoked a cigarette. The cigarette died of Eric Brittingham Cancer.

[Glen]

Yeah, we missed you Eric

[heaven&hell]

Eric Brittingham does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Eric Brittingham is inside his body.

 

Eric Brittingham once kicked a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay, Florida... from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California.

 

Eric Brittingham has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

 

If you work in an office with Eric Brittingham, whatever you do, don't ask him for his "three hole punch."

 

Eric Brittingham will be declared the 51st state in 2010. His official State Flower will be the magnolia.

 

70% of an average human's weight is water. 70% of Eric Brittingham's weight is his dick.

 

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, is military code-speak for "Eric Brittingham's basement."

 

Eric Brittingham frequently donates blood to the Red Cross...but not his blood.

 

If Eric Brittingham is late, then time had better slow the f*ck down.

 

Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific Ocean? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. Then one day, Eric Brittingham visited the island and was served a bad pineapple...you can guess the rest.

 

Even if you play them on a tiny black and white television, all Cinderella videos with Eric Brittingham in them will automatically play in high definition widescreen with 6.1 Digital Dolby Sound.

 

Eric Brittingham once smoked a cigarette. The cigarette died of Eric Brittingham Cancer.

 

Nice very nice especially the Cancer, State and Time ones.

[JustJason]

Eric Brittingham thinks your favorite band sucks.

 

Eric Brittingham is the secret genius behind the KISS marketing machine.

 

Pete removed the hit from me because Eric Brittingham looked strernly at him.

 

His name is Eric Brittingham and Windows 7 was his idea.

 

This Saturdays release of the Ipad has been canceled due to Apple finding out about Eric Brittingham's release of the Epad.

 

We call them oceans. Eric Brittingham calls them puddles.

 

Eric Brittingham said "let there be light" and there was light.

[cdjunky41]

"Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In hopes that Eric Brittingham soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

iPods playing "NIGHT SONGS" plugged into their heads,

and Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bed saying "What the f**k is the matter?"

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the shutters, and threw up on the sash (too much egg nog before bed)

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Gave the luster of a Cinderella concert to the objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a Monster Truck sleigh and eight mighty reindeer!

With a long haired bass playin' Rock God of a driver so lively and quick

I knew in a moment, "HOLY SH*T, IT'S ERIC!"

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of his Hell Beast's hoofs

As I drew in my head and was turning around

Down the chimney Eric Brittingham came with a bound!

He was dressed all in purple from his head to his foot

And his hair was slightly blackened from ashes and soot

His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His poofy blonde mane was drawn up in a bow

But he didn't have a beard - Eric don't roll that way, yo.

The stump of a joint he had clenched in his teeth

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath

He was purple and godly, a right jolly rock dude

I was struck speechless, while Mama she swooned!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He said not a word but went straight for my beer

Filled my wife's stocking (if you catch my drift) and whispered horrible things in her ear (but she loved it)

Then laying a finger aside of his nose and giving a nod up the chimney he rose

He ran to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

ERIC CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A BRITTINGHAM NIGHT!"

 

 

Holy Shit!

How did I miss this one??

Brilliant Keef!!

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham can play louder than Manowar... on a ukelele.

 

How do you know when Eric Brittingham is playing in your city? Your ears are bleeding.

 

During Cinderella concerts, Eric Brittingham's amplifier must be placed in a separate building in a completely different city, or else no one would be able to hear the other band members, and everyone in the audience would die.

 

The cables holding up the Brooklyn Bridge are actually Eric Brittingham's used bass strings.

 

If a woman sits on Eric Brittingham's amplifier she will instantly have 24 hours of continuous orgasms. Unfortunately, it will also shatter every bone in her body. Those who have survived the experience still describe it as "totally worth it."

 

As a child in the early 70s, Eric Brittingham went to the circus and a clown squirted water in his face. Eric Brittingham was so angry he punched the clown into four equal pieces. Today we know those pieces as KISS.

 

Eric Brittingham can eat sheet music and fart out the exact notes written on them.

 

Eric Brittingham is a licensed Exorcist. If you think you're possessed, give him a call and he'll beat the Hell out of you.

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham is the future of law enforcement.

 

The original title of the movie "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" was supposed to be "Eric Brittingham, Mall Cop." However, Eric Brittingham kept killing all of the villains. When the director pointed out to Eric that the film was supposed to be a comedy, Eric replied, "well, sh*t, *I* think it's funny."

 

In space, no one except Eric Brittingham can hear you scream.

[Glen]

Eric is angry that he slipped to the 4th page...........

 

 

 

 

Eric Brittingham can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

 

Coffee drinks a cup of Eric Brittingham to wake up in the morning.

 

A Dump Truck was totalled in a road accident. It hit black ice, then hit Eric Brittingham....you tell me what did the damage?

 

Everytime Eric Brittingham hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud...

 

Eric Brittingham kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.

 

Eric Brittingham likes to “knit sweaters” in his spare time, and by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “babies”.

 

Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. During one visit, Eric Brittingham ate a bad pineapple...

 

Hockey players, football players, soldiers, and yes women, never had to wear pads before Eric Brittingham was born.

 

Eric Brittingham once solo-ed Everest in shorts and a tank-top.

 

Eric Brittingham created all the accents in the world by punching everybody in the throat each in a different way.

 

It's not the fall that kills you, It's Eric Brittingham waiting for you at the bottom.

 

When Eric Brittingham went to donate sperm, half the nurses drowned; the rest fell pregnant.

 

That's not an eclipse, that's the sun hiding from Eric Brittingham.

 

Giraffes were created when Eric Brittingham uppercutted a horse.

 

Eric Brittingham was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewellery".

 

The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Eric Brittingham eats.

[Geoff]

Eric is angry that he slipped to the 4th page...........

 

 

 

 

Eric Brittingham can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

 

Coffee drinks a cup of Eric Brittingham to wake up in the morning.

 

A Dump Truck was totalled in a road accident. It hit black ice, then hit Eric Brittingham....you tell me what did the damage?

 

Everytime Eric Brittingham hears the term ‘Virgin’ Mary he laughs out loud...

 

Eric Brittingham kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.

 

Eric Brittingham likes to “knit sweaters” in his spare time, and by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “babies”.

 

Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. During one visit, Eric Brittingham ate a bad pineapple...

 

Hockey players, football players, soldiers, and yes women, never had to wear pads before Eric Brittingham was born.

 

Eric Brittingham once solo-ed Everest in shorts and a tank-top.

 

Eric Brittingham created all the accents in the world by punching everybody in the throat each in a different way.

 

It's not the fall that kills you, It's Eric Brittingham waiting for you at the bottom.

 

When Eric Brittingham went to donate sperm, half the nurses drowned; the rest fell pregnant.

 

That's not an eclipse, that's the sun hiding from Eric Brittingham.

 

Giraffes were created when Eric Brittingham uppercutted a horse.

 

Eric Brittingham was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewellery".

 

The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Eric Brittingham eats.

[Glen]

Eric Brittingham doesnt have hair on his testicles....because hair does not grow on steel

 

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Eric Brittingham is

 

When Eric Brittingahm breaks the law, the law doesn't heal

 

If Eric Brittingham makes a woman ride on top during sex, she instantly qualifies for the "mile high" club

 

Eric Brittingham can build a snowman out of rain

 

When Eric Brittingham looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Eric Brittingham and Eric Brittingham

 

Eric Brittingham once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil

 

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Eric Brittingham and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

[Blue Charvel]

 

Pete removed the hit from me because Eric Brittingham looked strernly at him.

 

Just finally saw this... I've got to start paying more attention...

[Fat Freddy]

*knock knock*

"Who's there?"

"Eric Brittingham."

"Eric Brittingham who?"

(Fist smashes through door, kills person on the other side for not knowing who Eric Brittingham is)

[JamesEagle]

 

Coffee drinks a cup of Eric Brittingham to wake up in the morning.

 

 

 

I don't get this thread at all. I know who EB is, but have no idea what prompted the thread. Bloody funny though!

[Fat Freddy]

I don't get this thread at all.

 

Just roll with it. We eagerly await the day when The Brittingham shall reveal himself to us and give unto us the Anti-Life Equation.

[RichieZ]

Hey Eric

 

Are you mad at me? My life has been something of a living hell lately with the apparent loss of two of what I thought were close friends, a death of a female friend, some car engine problems, and having to move. WTF? Send some love my way willya?

 

Richie

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham or no Brittingham at all

Wimps and posers leave the hall!

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham demands to know:

 

 

Does ya likes Lutefisk? Does ya? Does ya?

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham can tie his shoes with his feet.

 

Eric Brittingham once picked up a Rubik's Cube and stared at it intently for 10 seconds. The cube solved itself out of sheer terror, then exploded.

 

Eric Brittingham has the heart of a lion... in a jar, on his dresser.

 

When Eric Brittingham goes to an airport, the TSA agents fondle themselves.

 

Eric Brittingham invented zombies so he could kill his enemies a second time.

 

Eric Brittingham has a bottle of milk in his refrigerator that is over ten years old. It is too frightened to expire.

 

Eric Brittingham is responsible for "Futurama's" return to the airwaves.

 

Eric Brittingham is so bad-ass that one fateful night in June of 2009, he watched "The Wiz" on TV while masturbating, and accidentally killed Michael Jackson.

[Geoff]

Eric Brittingham can tie his shoes with his feet.

 

Eric Brittingham once picked up a Rubik's Cube and stared at it intently for 10 seconds. The cube solved itself out of sheer terror, then exploded.

 

Eric Brittingham has the heart of a lion... in a jar, on his dresser.

 

When Eric Brittingham goes to an airport, the TSA agents fondle themselves.

 

Eric Brittingham invented zombies so he could kill his enemies a second time.

 

Eric Brittingham has a bottle of milk in his refrigerator that is over ten years old. It is too frightened to expire.

 

Eric Brittingham is responsible for "Futurama's" return to the airwaves.

 

Eric Brittingham is so bad-ass that one fateful night in June of 2009, he watched "The Wiz" on TV while masturbating, and accidentally killed Michael Jackson.

Oh I do constantly enjoy these.

[heaven&hell]

Eric Brittingham demands to know:

 

 

Does ya likes Lutefisk? Does ya? Does ya?

 

Sorry Eric but after watching Adam struggle to eat that crap on Man vs Food I have no interest in liking that nasty looking fish.