Let's Discuss Eric Brittingham

[Fat Freddy]

 

Puny humans... gaze upon the face of your destroyer, Eric Brittingham!! For he is NOT pleased!!!

[Geoff]

If that picture were coloured it would not be overly metal. In black and white, it just doesn't get more metal than that.

[Fat Freddy]

If that picture were coloured it would not be overly metal. In black and white, it just doesn't get more metal than that.

 

Seriously. When I first gazed upon that picture of Eric Brittingham, it was all I could do not to wet my pants in abject terror and curl up under my desk in a fetal position, sucking my thumb and whimpering.

[Blue Charvel]

If that picture were coloured it would not be overly metal. In black and white, it just doesn't get more metal than that.

 

Seriously. When I first gazed upon that picture of Eric Brittingham, it was all I could do not to wet my pants in abject terror and curl up under my desk in a fetal position, sucking my thumb and whimpering.

 

It was colour originally, but Eric Brittingham decided that it should not be and with a mighty inhale he sucked the colour out of every instance of that picture, printed, on the web or otherwise. If you had that picture stored on your digital camera it would only take black and white pictures from now on.

[Geoff]

If that picture were coloured it would not be overly metal. In black and white, it just doesn't get more metal than that.

 

Seriously. When I first gazed upon that picture of Eric Brittingham, it was all I could do not to wet my pants in abject terror and curl up under my desk in a fetal position, sucking my thumb and whimpering.

 

It was colour originally, but Eric Brittingham decided that it should not be and with a mighty inhale he sucked the colour out of every instance of that picture, printed, on the web or otherwise. If you had that picture stored on your digital camera it would only take black and white pictures from now on.

Truth. I was there.

[Fat Freddy]

Haven't done one of these in awhile...

 

Eric Brittingham plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

 

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Eric Brittingham created God by snapping his fingers.

 

Eric Brittingham is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

 

Eric Brittingham wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

 

When you play Monopoly with Eric Brittingham, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

 

Eric Brittingham describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

 

Eric Brittingham once got into a fight with a one-armed Ninja. Seeing that he had an unfair advantage, Eric Brittingham ripped off both of his own arms and one of his legs. He then roundhouse-kicked the ninja in the head, killing him instantly, and proceeded to sew his limbs back on using only a rusty tent spike and bailing wire.

 

Eric Brittingham likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

 

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Eric Brittingham."

 

Eric Brittingham enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.

 

Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Eric Brittingham, and if you receive a box of Eric Brittingham, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.

 

For Eric Brittingham, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.

 

Eric Brittingham once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.

 

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Eric Brittingham didn't kill you in your sleep.

 

Eric Brittingham doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.

 

Eric Brittingham needs a monkey wrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

 

Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Eric Brittingham, expect an explosive ass kicking for spouting too much fancy-talk.

 

Eric Brittingham invented all 32 letters of the alphabet. What's that you say? There are only 26 letters in the alphabet? Not anymore.

.

[Geoff]

Jeez I love that shit. Nice work, mate, nice work. And you too, Eric Brittingham, for being so awesome.

[heaven&hell]

It would be a Long Long Cold Winter without Eric in our lives.

[Geoff]

It would be a Long Long Cold Winter without Eric in our lives.

Maybe that's why it's been so cold here in this fine land, because this thread's been so quiet. Hopefully now I can bathe in Eric Brittingham's sunlight once more.

[Fat Freddy]

Do not joke about me. I am the bringer of light. I am the be all and end all. I allow your existence.

 

I command you purchase the new Naked Beggars CD.

 

I approve of this thread. It's creator must be a complete genius. He shall be my appointed one.

 

Hail Eric Brittingham. I have just added thee to my "friends" list. I hope that all others who view this thread will do the same, to avoid thy terrible wrath.

[Geoff]

Do not joke about me. I am the bringer of light. I am the be all and end all. I allow your existence.

 

I command you purchase the new Naked Beggars CD.

 

I approve of this thread. It's creator must be a complete genius. He shall be my appointed one.

 

Hail Eric Brittingham. I have just added thee to my "friends" list. I hope that all others who view this thread will do the same, to avoid thy terrible wrath.

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

[Fat Freddy]

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

You can find The Mighty Eric's post on page 20 of this thread, post # 388. Hurry Geoff! Hurry! Eric is not a patient man.

[Geoff]

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

You can find The Mighty Eric's post on page 20 of this thread, post # 388. Hurry Geoff! Hurry! Eric is not a patient man.

Thanks SOFBN1357698 (Servant Of Eric Brittingham No. 1357698). I appreciate it mate. I feel now, with Eric Brittingham as a friend, I will never be beaten in a fight again, for Eric Brittingham is now my friend. The computer says so.

[Fat Freddy]

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

You can find The Mighty Eric's post on page 20 of this thread, post # 388. Hurry Geoff! Hurry! Eric is not a patient man.

Thanks SOFBN1357698 (Servant Of Eric Brittingham No. 1357698). I appreciate it mate. I feel now, with Eric Brittingham as a friend, I will never be beaten in a fight again, for Eric Brittingham is now my friend. The computer says so.

 

Excellent work, Geoff. You and I are now safe from Eric's wrath. I hope the rest of the HH community will be so lucky.

[Chris]

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

You can find The Mighty Eric's post on page 20 of this thread, post # 388. Hurry Geoff! Hurry! Eric is not a patient man.

Thanks SOFBN1357698 (Servant Of Eric Brittingham No. 1357698). I appreciate it mate. I feel now, with Eric Brittingham as a friend, I will never be beaten in a fight again, for Eric Brittingham is now my friend. The computer says so.

 

Excellent work, Geoff. You and I are now safe from Eric's wrath. I hope the rest of the HH community will be so lucky.

You gots troubles...

[Fat Freddy]

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

You can find The Mighty Eric's post on page 20 of this thread, post # 388. Hurry Geoff! Hurry! Eric is not a patient man.

Thanks SOFBN1357698 (Servant Of Eric Brittingham No. 1357698). I appreciate it mate. I feel now, with Eric Brittingham as a friend, I will never be beaten in a fight again, for Eric Brittingham is now my friend. The computer says so.

 

Excellent work, Geoff. You and I are now safe from Eric's wrath. I hope the rest of the HH community will be so lucky.

You gots troubles...

 

It is you who will have troubles when The Mighty Eric rains fire from the sky to cleanse the earth of those who do not share in his vision. Unbeliever.

[Chris]

omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodom

igodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod, which page is His post on, Keith? I'll do it asap. Seriously, Eric Brittingham, I will.

You can find The Mighty Eric's post on page 20 of this thread, post # 388. Hurry Geoff! Hurry! Eric is not a patient man.

Thanks SOFBN1357698 (Servant Of Eric Brittingham No. 1357698). I appreciate it mate. I feel now, with Eric Brittingham as a friend, I will never be beaten in a fight again, for Eric Brittingham is now my friend. The computer says so.

 

Excellent work, Geoff. You and I are now safe from Eric's wrath. I hope the rest of the HH community will be so lucky.

You gots troubles...

 

It is you who will have troubles when The Mighty Eric rains fire from the sky to cleanse the earth of those who do not share in his vision. Unbeliever.

Who says I don't believe? I just worship at the altar of Eric in a different way.

[Fat Freddy]

Who says I don't believe? I just worship at the altar of Eric in a different way.

 

I cannot dispute such logic, especially coming from a man with such an awesome new avatar. Hails brother.

[Fat Freddy]

Today is the first day of Summer, and Eric Brittingham commands all women to remove their tops today in tribute. Hopefully, thy will shall be done, Oh Mighty Eric.

 

Oh, and by the way, new Eric Brittingham Fact:

 

Def Leppard's drummer has one arm because Eric Brittingham needed a back scratcher.

[Fat Freddy]

Eric Brittingham's thread has been quiet for far too long. I hope Eric is enjoying his summer vacation.

[eaglesfan3000]

Or maybe Dan him from the HH board. Please say it isn't so.

[Fat Freddy]

Or maybe Dan him from the HH board. Please say it isn't so.

 

Eric Brittingham can never be ... he simply WILL NOT allow it.

[Geoff]

Today is the first day of Summer, and Eric Brittingham commands all women to remove their tops today in tribute. Hopefully, thy will shall be done, Oh Mighty Eric.

 

Oh, and by the way, new Eric Brittingham Fact:

 

Def Leppard's drummer has one arm because Eric Brittingham needed a back scratcher.

I was in Samoa when this post happened... if I'd seen it then I'd still be lol'ing now.

 

I thought I saw Eric Brittingham this morning, but it was only Jesus.

[metalmaniac777]

I thought I saw Eric Brittingham this morning, but it was only Jesus.

The little Hispanic guy that runs the taco cart at the corner of 9th Street? Dude makes a mean spicy beef chalupa that also works as one hell of a colon cleanser.

[Fat Freddy]

How is it that Eric Brittingham's thread has slipped to Page 4?? Read these following facts about The Mighty Eric and let's never let this happen again. After all, does this sound like someone you want to piss off??

 

Eric Brittingham was once a knight in King Arthur's court. He was known as Sir Beatdown.

 

Eric Brittingham's sweat has burned holes in concrete.

 

On Valentine's Day, Eric Brittingham gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies.

 

When Eric Brittingham goes to Las Vegas, he doesn't have to gamble. The casinos just give him stacks of money.

 

Eric Brittingham brushes his teeth with barbed wire.

 

Eric Brittingham is not only a noun, but a verb.

 

Eric Brittingham uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

 

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Eric Brittingham, because Eric Brittingham killed that man.

 

When Eric Brittingham goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken... but he only eats its soul.

 

After taking a urine test, doctors informed Eric Brittingham that he had tested positive for steroids. Eric Brittingham laughed and said "of course my urine tested positive for steroids, what do you think they make steroids FROM?"

 

There are no such things as tornados. Eric Brittingham just hates trailer parks.

 

For Spring Break Eric Brittingham drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

 

One time, at band camp, Eric Brittingham ate a percussionist.

 

Eric Brittingham's sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

 

The only sure things in life are Death and Taxes…and when Eric Brittingham goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

 

In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Eric Brittingham. The other 6% were fat or ugly.

 

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Eric Brittingham finds it delicious.

 

Google won't search for Eric Brittingham because it knows you don't find Eric Brittingham, he finds you.

 

Eric Brittingham invented the internet… just so he could have a place to store his porn.

 

Eric Brittingham is responsible for China's over-population. He visited Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

 

Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Eric, Hidden Brittingham"

 

Eric Brittingham once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

 

The original premise of the show "Survivor" was putting people on an island with Eric Brittingham. Unfortunately there WERE no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.