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The F*%K Thread

raildog

By raildog
in Exquisite Entropy

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whiplash1972
whiplash1972

I immediately thought of @Thomas/Coastline when I saw this birthday cake 😂

KarpetRydOFunk
KarpetRydOFunk

Have a few for me, you old fuck. 

Fat Freddy
Fat Freddy

I wasn't sure if I even remembered my fuckin password after all this time

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Geoff Official Heavy Harmonies Gropie...err "Groupie"

Geoff

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I'm pretty fucking hungry already. My wife gave me a lift to the station this morning because it won't stop fucking raining. Hey, rain. Fuck you.

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Fat Freddy My Knobs Go to 11

Fat Freddy

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I didn't have any fucking time to post this earlier today but I have to fuckin share this story:

 

Last night about 9 PM, things were pretty fuckin' mellow round here. The boys were asleep, the wife was at church for her monthly Mommies Club meeting, and I'm fuckin' around on the fuckin' internet like usual. Outta nowhere my dog starts fuckin WOOF WOOF WOOFING at the fuckin' front door. First of all I'm like "Dude, shut the fuck up, the kids are sleepin'!" but then I figure he probably has to go take a dump. So I open the front door...

 

And there's a FUCKING HUGE BLACK BEAR on my FUCKING PORCH going thru my fucking garbage cans!! :yikes:

 

No fuckin lie, this was a BIG SON OF A BITCH. And if I didn't have a fuckin screen door between him and me, I could've reached out and petted the fucker. Needless to say I quickly closed the door and said "Ooookay, big fella, take whatever the fuck you want." He didn't even fuckin' look up at me when I opened the fuckin door, he was too busy. So I figure I'll get the camera and get a couple of pictures of this fucker at the very least. I scramble to find the fuckin' camera, get back to the front door, peek out... and he's fuckin' gone. I'm like "Where the fuck did he go?" I peek out the fuckin screen door just in time to see him go round the fuckin corner towards my back yard with one of the trash bags in his fuckin mouth. Therefore I dash to my back door and flip the fuckin porch light on back there to wait for him to come thru.... but he never comes thru. Now I'm REALLY like "NOW where the fuck did he go?" I cautiously stepped out onto my porch with a flashlight, and I could see him about halfway up the hill next to my house, just chillin the fuck out amongst the trees, munchin' away on my trash. I don't know what the fuck was in that bag but he seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

 

My wife pulled into the driveway about ten fuckin minutes later and the fucker was still up there chowin' away. We stood on the porch and watched him for a while before I finally cleaned up the fuckin mess he'd left all over the fuckin deck and went back inside.

 

As of now, the fuckin' garbage cans are no longer being kept on the fuckin porch!!

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heaven&hell Official Heavy Harmonies Gropie...err "Groupie"

heaven&hell

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I didn't have any fucking time to post this earlier today but I have to fuckin share this story:

 

Last night about 9 PM, things were pretty fuckin' mellow round here. The boys were asleep, the wife was at church for her monthly Mommies Club meeting, and I'm fuckin' around on the fuckin' internet like usual. Outta nowhere my dog starts fuckin WOOF WOOF WOOFING at the fuckin' front door. First of all I'm like "Dude, shut the fuck up, the kids are sleepin'!" but then I figure he probably has to go take a dump. So I open the front door...

 

And there's a FUCKING HUGE BLACK BEAR on my FUCKING PORCH going thru my fucking garbage cans!! :yikes:

 

No fuckin lie, this was a BIG SON OF A BITCH. And if I didn't have a fuckin screen door between him and me, I could've reached out and petted the fucker. Needless to say I quickly closed the door and said "Ooookay, big fella, take whatever the fuck you want." He didn't even fuckin' look up at me when I opened the fuckin door, he was too busy. So I figure I'll get the camera and get a couple of pictures of this fucker at the very least. I scramble to find the fuckin' camera, get back to the front door, peek out... and he's fuckin' gone. I'm like "Where the fuck did he go?" I peek out the fuckin screen door just in time to see him go round the fuckin corner towards my back yard with one of the trash bags in his fuckin mouth. Therefore I dash to my back door and flip the fuckin porch light on back there to wait for him to come thru.... but he never comes thru. Now I'm REALLY like "NOW where the fuck did he go?" I cautiously stepped out onto my porch with a flashlight, and I could see him about halfway up the hill next to my house, just chillin the fuck out amongst the trees, munchin' away on my trash. I don't know what the fuck was in that bag but he seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

 

My wife pulled into the driveway about ten fuckin minutes later and the fucker was still up there chowin' away. We stood on the porch and watched him for a while before I finally cleaned up the fuckin mess he'd left all over the fuckin deck and went back inside.

 

As of now, the fuckin' garbage cans are no longer being kept on the fuckin porch!!

 

Wow that's fucking crazy.

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Blue Charvel 87 Platinum Records and a Drug Addiction to Match

Blue Charvel

Posted
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I didn't have any fucking time to post this earlier today but I have to fuckin share this story:

 

Last night about 9 PM, things were pretty fuckin' mellow round here. The boys were asleep, the wife was at church for her monthly Mommies Club meeting, and I'm fuckin' around on the fuckin' internet like usual. Outta nowhere my dog starts fuckin WOOF WOOF WOOFING at the fuckin' front door. First of all I'm like "Dude, shut the fuck up, the kids are sleepin'!" but then I figure he probably has to go take a dump. So I open the front door...

 

And there's a FUCKING HUGE BLACK BEAR on my FUCKING PORCH going thru my fucking garbage cans!! :yikes:

 

No fuckin lie, this was a BIG SON OF A BITCH. And if I didn't have a fuckin screen door between him and me, I could've reached out and petted the fucker. Needless to say I quickly closed the door and said "Ooookay, big fella, take whatever the fuck you want." He didn't even fuckin' look up at me when I opened the fuckin door, he was too busy. So I figure I'll get the camera and get a couple of pictures of this fucker at the very least. I scramble to find the fuckin' camera, get back to the front door, peek out... and he's fuckin' gone. I'm like "Where the fuck did he go?" I peek out the fuckin screen door just in time to see him go round the fuckin corner towards my back yard with one of the trash bags in his fuckin mouth. Therefore I dash to my back door and flip the fuckin porch light on back there to wait for him to come thru.... but he never comes thru. Now I'm REALLY like "NOW where the fuck did he go?" I cautiously stepped out onto my porch with a flashlight, and I could see him about halfway up the hill next to my house, just chillin the fuck out amongst the trees, munchin' away on my trash. I don't know what the fuck was in that bag but he seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

 

My wife pulled into the driveway about ten fuckin minutes later and the fucker was still up there chowin' away. We stood on the porch and watched him for a while before I finally cleaned up the fuckin mess he'd left all over the fuckin deck and went back inside.

 

As of now, the fuckin' garbage cans are no longer being kept on the fuckin porch!!

 

Wow that's fucking crazy.

That is fuckin' crazy... you sure it wasn't Ron Jeremy?

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Fat Freddy My Knobs Go to 11

Fat Freddy

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Posted
Wow that's fucking crazy.

 

You ain't fuckin kidding bro. I've had fuckin bear encounters a few other times since I've been living here but this was a fuckin first. I've never been that up-close and fuckin personal.

 

I kept thinking of that scene in the fuckin movie "The Great Outdoors" when the fuckin bear smashes down the fuckin door to the cabin and totally fuckin flattens John Candy. :yikes:

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Dark Star Playing Madison Square Gardens

Dark Star

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Wow that's fucking crazy.

 

You ain't fuckin kidding bro. I've had fuckin bear encounters a few other times since I've been living here but this was a fuckin first. I've never been that up-close and fuckin personal.

 

I kept thinking of that scene in the fuckin movie "The Great Outdoors" when the fuckin bear smashes down the fuckin door to the cabin and totally fuckin flattens John Candy. :yikes:

 

 

Dude!! I was thinking that SAME fuckin thing!!!! God I love that fuckin movie...... :tumbsup:

 

Fucking cool story too Man... Did Ya check Yer fuckin shorts after seeing that BIG ass fuckin bear???? :whistle:

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Chris My Knobs Go to 11

Chris

Posted
Posted
Wow that's fucking crazy.

 

You ain't fuckin kidding bro. I've had fuckin bear encounters a few other times since I've been living here but this was a fuckin first. I've never been that up-close and fuckin personal.

 

I kept thinking of that scene in the fuckin movie "The Great Outdoors" when the fuckin bear smashes down the fuckin door to the cabin and totally fuckin flattens John Candy. :yikes:

 

 

Dude!! I was thinking that SAME fuckin thing!!!! God I love that fuckin movie...... :tumbsup:

 

Fucking cool story too Man... Did Ya check Yer fuckin shorts after seeing that BIG ass fuckin bear???? :whistle:

Now what are the fucking odds you two think alike????

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Fat Freddy My Knobs Go to 11

Fat Freddy

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Posted
That is fuckin' crazy... you sure it wasn't Ron Jeremy?

 

I said it was a fuckin' bear, not a fuckin hedgehog!!

 

Fucking cool story too Man... Did Ya check Yer fuckin shorts after seeing that BIG ass fuckin bear????

 

Nah, I was more surprised than scared. The bears around here are used to people, like I said, the fucker didn't even look up at me when I opened the door. I knew he wasn't gonna fuckin' go for me thru the fuckin screen door. It was just a very unexpected fuckin surprise to find him literally at my doorstep!!

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Dark Star Playing Madison Square Gardens

Dark Star

Posted
Posted
Wow that's fucking crazy.

 

You ain't fuckin kidding bro. I've had fuckin bear encounters a few other times since I've been living here but this was a fuckin first. I've never been that up-close and fuckin personal.

 

I kept thinking of that scene in the fuckin movie "The Great Outdoors" when the fuckin bear smashes down the fuckin door to the cabin and totally fuckin flattens John Candy. :yikes:

 

 

Dude!! I was thinking that SAME fuckin thing!!!! God I love that fuckin movie...... :tumbsup:

 

Fucking cool story too Man... Did Ya check Yer fuckin shorts after seeing that BIG ass fuckin bear???? :whistle:

Now what are the fucking odds you two think alike????

 

 

Considering I known Keith for about 20 fuckin years?? the odds are pretty fuckin good We think alike...... :tumbsup:

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Jez Official Heavy Harmonies Gropie...err "Groupie"

Jez

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Fuckin' washing machine's fuckin' noisy today !!!!!

 

You wash your clothes? Ooh Errr...fucking Posh!! ;)

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Swazi 87 Platinum Records and a Drug Addiction to Match

Swazi

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Fuckin' washing machine's fuckin' noisy today !!!!!

 

You wash your clothes? Ooh Errr...fucking Posh!! ;)

 

I have not done that for fuckin' ages !! :whistle:

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Chris My Knobs Go to 11

Chris

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Posted

I just wish it was raining money. Fuck the beer.

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Geoff Official Heavy Harmonies Gropie...err "Groupie"

Geoff

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I just wish it was raining money. Fuck the beer.

As much as I love the beer, I'll have to back this one. Give me some fucking money, heavens, please. For the love of all that is unfucked!

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Jez Official Heavy Harmonies Gropie...err "Groupie"

Jez

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Fuck electrics. All my downstairs sockets have fucked up for some reason, and I can't get an electrician out until Saturday, so no PC, CD player, Washing machine, dishwasher, or sweet fuck all until then. At least I have a fucking TV upstairs and my iPod. Fuck it, I am not fucking happy. :angry:

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glam_junkie Playing Madison Square Gardens

glam_junkie

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All my downstairs sockets have fucked up for some reason, and I can't get an errection out until Saturday. At least I have a fucking TV upstairs and my iPod. Fuck it, I am not fucking happy. :angry:

 

 

When Geoff had a problem with his downstairs socket he just took some viagra and everything was fixed in a few minutes.

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Geoff Official Heavy Harmonies Gropie...err "Groupie"

Geoff

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For fuck's sake it is 10 FUCKIN inches

And you should see it when it's fuckin' erect!

 

 

Geoff... i fuckin dare you to fuck with my posts again. :angry:

What the fuck? It's exaclty what you posted, minus a few words that seemed irrelevant.

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