Jump to content

The F*%K Thread


raildog

Recommended Posts

To lighten the thread a tad -

 

The boy gave me a right good fuckin' hammering on the Playstation... :angry:

 

 

What fuckin game did He kick your fuckin ass at anyways???

 

I am fucking kicking ASS on fuckin God of War 2!!!!! :lol:

SSX On Tour :whistle: He's only fuckin' 10..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To lighten the thread a tad -

 

The boy gave me a right good fuckin' hammering on the Playstation... :angry:

 

 

What fuckin game did He kick your fuckin ass at anyways???

 

I am fucking kicking ASS on fuckin God of War 2!!!!! :lol:

SSX On Tour :whistle: He's only fuckin' 10..

HAHA I told you that he would kick your fuckin' ass someday!!! :rofl2:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I went to a fucking train station and challenged some local kids to play a game of hopscotch, after we were finished... would it be cool to label it fuckin' a Playstation?

 

^Worst post of 2007.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I went to a fucking train station and challenged some local kids to play a game of hopscotch, after we were finished... would it be cool to label it fuckin' a Playstation?

 

^Worst post of 2007.

Fuckin' Hell.. :blink:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:wtf: The bastards are dropping the alcohol content in VB's from 4.9% to 4.8%. That is fuckin' sacrilege.

 

Memo to the FUCKWITS at Carlton & United Breweries.

 

"DON'T FUCK WITH VICTORIA BITTER"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If I went to a fucking train station and challenged some local kids to play a game of hopscotch, after we were finished... would it be cool to label it fuckin' a Playstation?

 

^Worst post of 2007.

Fuckin' Hell.. :blink:

See what you fucking started... <_<

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:wtf: The bastards are dropping the alcohol content in VB's from 4.9% to 4.8%. That is fuckin' sacrilege.

 

Memo to the FUCKWITS at Carlton & United Breweries.

 

"DON'T FUCK WITH VICTORIA BITTER"

Holy fucking shit, is there no end to the fucking madness? Where does it fucking stop? Next thing you know they'll lower it to 4.7% and then you're well & truly fucked...might as well be drinking warm donkey piss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What the fuck is up fuckers??

We're having a terrible, horrible, no good fuckin very bad weekend around here today. Why are we having a terrible, horrible, no good fuckin' very weekend day around here? I'll fuckin' tell you why we're having a terrible horrible no good very bad fuckin' weekend around here.

 

Here's the scoop: The Wife wants every room in this house to be clean as a whistle before she drops the new young'un, which is a nice idea in principle but of course since we've pretty much been lazy slobs ever since she got preggers and haven't done anything in the way of hardcore cleaning, it's been a much bigger fuckin' task than expected.

 

So anyway, today's project was the kitchen. A couple of fuckin times a year we drag all the cleaning supplies and the vacuum into the kitchen, move the fridge and the stove around, clean the floors underneath'em, yadda yadda fuckin' yadda. Well, we had a mouse problem over the winter and let's just say that behind the fridge, they left plenty of, er, "evidence" behind. Fuckin' disgusting. Took forever and a fuckin' day to clean that shit up. Then The Wife got one of her usual brilliant ideas/...next to her stove is a big rolling cart with a granite top on it that she uses for food prep, well, she wanted me to roll that thing out into the dining room so she can take everything off of it, out of the drawers, off the shelves, etc., and clean the fuck out of it. That was fine cuz quite frankly the thing was a cluttered disgusting fuckin' mess. Now, on one end of this cart was a bar for a paper towel roll that we have never used and apparently has always been in The Wife's way so she asked me if I could figure out how to get it off of there. So I get my screwdrivers out, I start taking this fuckin thing apart, and just as I get the LAST screw out of the thing that holds the paper towel bar in, CRRRRRRAAAAAAAACK.... the whole fuckin' thing just tilted and collapsed. Needless to say, I needed a moment to go into the bathroom, put my head against the wall, and quietly say "motherFUCKer." After a quick survey of the damage it appeared that there was no fuckin' hope of putting the thing back together cuz when it collapsed, nearly every piece of wood in the fuckin' thing split around the stress points (i.e. around the screws that were holding it together). So now we got a fuckin' fifty pound fucking granite countertop sitting against the wall with nothing to rest it on, besides that we now have no place to put any of the shit that was stored in and on this cart. So off we go to fuckin' Lowes Home Center to buy two pre-fab kitchen cabinets, drag 'em home, drag'em into the fuckin kitchen, and rest the fuckin' counter top on that. Looks fuckin' great but those fuckin' cabinets set us back just shy of four hundred fuckin dollars. So obviously I am NOT in a great fuckin' mood right now. Although to be honest, I never liked that ugly ass fuckin' rolling cart anyway so on one hand I'm kinda glad to see it gone.

 

OH, and I didn't even TELL you about last night's catastrophe... last night I'm on my way home and my cell phone rings, The Wife sez she and The Boy are making homemade pizza for dinner and they need me to stop at Shop Rite to get mozzarella cheese. I get home and The Wife has just turned on the fuckin' oven to pre-heat it. About two minutes in we start going "sniff sniff...what the fuck is that fuckin smell?" THEN we remembered... on Tuesday night when my father in law came over for dinner, The Wife made a bunch of little cake thingies for dessert and we had a couple left over. At the time we went to put all the dinner shit away there was no room on the counter to put the tray with the cakes on it, so we just shoved 'em in the oven so they'd be out of the way... and of course forgot they were there. As fate would have it, they were on a PLASTIC TRAY too, so now when we open the oven there's a cloud of fuckin smoke, and three little cakes burnt to a crisp sitting on the oven shelf. The plastic tray had turned into a puddle of soup at the bottom of the oven. Motherfucker did that ever fuckin STINK!!! So we gotta stop everything we're doing, scrape out all the fuckin' melted plastic out of the fuckin' oven and off the racks, then we've gotta put the oven on self-cleaning to burn off whatever's left, plus we had to open every fuckin door and fuckin' window in the fuckin' house to let all the nasty ass smoke out. Did I mention it was fuckin' HOT yesterday afternoon?? Jeezus K. Reist, what a clusterfuck.

 

As Adam Sandler said in one of his movies (I forget which one), "FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS." At this rate I almost want to go back to fuckin' work on Monday already!!!

 

Did I set a record for the largest # of "fucks" in one post yet?? :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What the fuck is up fuckers??

We're having a terrible, horrible, no good fuckin very bad weekend around here today. Why are we having a terrible, horrible, no good fuckin' very weekend day around here? I'll fuckin' tell you why we're having a terrible horrible no good very bad fuckin' weekend around here.

 

Here's the scoop: The Wife wants every room in this house to be clean as a whistle before she drops the new young'un, which is a nice idea in principle but of course since we've pretty much been lazy slobs ever since she got preggers and haven't done anything in the way of hardcore cleaning, it's been a much bigger fuckin' task than expected.

 

So anyway, today's project was the kitchen. A couple of fuckin times a year we drag all the cleaning supplies and the vacuum into the kitchen, move the fridge and the stove around, clean the floors underneath'em, yadda yadda fuckin' yadda. Well, we had a mouse problem over the winter and let's just say that behind the fridge, they left plenty of, er, "evidence" behind. Fuckin' disgusting. Took forever and a fuckin' day to clean that shit up. Then The Wife got one of her usual brilliant ideas/...next to her stove is a big rolling cart with a granite top on it that she uses for food prep, well, she wanted me to roll that thing out into the dining room so she can take everything off of it, out of the drawers, off the shelves, etc., and clean the fuck out of it. That was fine cuz quite frankly the thing was a cluttered disgusting fuckin' mess. Now, on one end of this cart was a bar for a paper towel roll that we have never used and apparently has always been in The Wife's way so she asked me if I could figure out how to get it off of there. So I get my screwdrivers out, I start taking this fuckin thing apart, and just as I get the LAST screw out of the thing that holds the paper towel bar in, CRRRRRRAAAAAAAACK.... the whole fuckin' thing just tilted and collapsed. Needless to say, I needed a moment to go into the bathroom, put my head against the wall, and quietly say "motherFUCKer." After a quick survey of the damage it appeared that there was no fuckin' hope of putting the thing back together cuz when it collapsed, nearly every piece of wood in the fuckin' thing split around the stress points (i.e. around the screws that were holding it together). So now we got a fuckin' fifty pound fucking granite countertop sitting against the wall with nothing to rest it on, besides that we now have no place to put any of the shit that was stored in and on this cart. So off we go to fuckin' Lowes Home Center to buy two pre-fab kitchen cabinets, drag 'em home, drag'em into the fuckin kitchen, and rest the fuckin' counter top on that. Looks fuckin' great but those fuckin' cabinets set us back just shy of four hundred fuckin dollars. So obviously I am NOT in a great fuckin' mood right now. Although to be honest, I never liked that ugly ass fuckin' rolling cart anyway so on one hand I'm kinda glad to see it gone.

 

OH, and I didn't even TELL you about last night's catastrophe... last night I'm on my way home and my cell phone rings, The Wife sez she and The Boy are making homemade pizza for dinner and they need me to stop at Shop Rite to get mozzarella cheese. I get home and The Wife has just turned on the fuckin' oven to pre-heat it. About two minutes in we start going "sniff sniff...what the fuck is that fuckin smell?" THEN we remembered... on Tuesday night when my father in law came over for dinner, The Wife made a bunch of little cake thingies for dessert and we had a couple left over. At the time we went to put all the dinner shit away there was no room on the counter to put the tray with the cakes on it, so we just shoved 'em in the oven so they'd be out of the way... and of course forgot they were there. As fate would have it, they were on a PLASTIC TRAY too, so now when we open the oven there's a cloud of fuckin smoke, and three little cakes burnt to a crisp sitting on the oven shelf. The plastic tray had turned into a puddle of soup at the bottom of the oven. Motherfucker did that ever fuckin STINK!!! So we gotta stop everything we're doing, scrape out all the fuckin' melted plastic out of the fuckin' oven and off the racks, then we've gotta put the oven on self-cleaning to burn off whatever's left, plus we had to open every fuckin door and fuckin' window in the fuckin' house to let all the nasty ass smoke out. Did I mention it was fuckin' HOT yesterday afternoon?? Jeezus K. Reist, what a clusterfuck.

 

As Adam Sandler said in one of his movies (I forget which one), "FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS." At this rate I almost want to go back to fuckin' work on Monday already!!!

 

Did I set a record for the largest # of "fucks" in one post yet?? :lol:

Fuck yeah !!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

that wins. hands fucking down. But I am sure, being husband of the year that you are, did it for your mrs with a reasonable smile on your face:). Then you went into the bathroom and swore;)...All seriousness, sorry you had a shitty time. i had a lousy fucking week myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gonna head out to the pool in a little fucking while for my morning fucking exercise then headed off the see a fucking movie. Yay me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm running through the fuckin' rain this morning to get to the train station, discman in my fuckin' pocket and my earphones in my shirt pocket. Fuckin' things fall out and I must have stepped on one of the fuckin' earpeices. I get in the train and go to put the fuckin' things in my ear and one's shattered. So I listened to Great White's new album through my right fuckin' ear this morning. Good times.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Keef, that fucking sucks brother. Glad you were able to overcome it, I'm sure you had a fuckin' beer (or eight) when you were done.

 

FUCK!

 

Fuckin A brother, you know it. Fortunately we made it thru today with no further fuckin' catastrophes. In fact, I had a few more fuckin' beers cuz my Mom took us all out to dinner tonight... no special reason for it, just for the sheer fuck of it... went to a great fuckin' place full of railroad memorabilia and model train stuff, so my train-addicted son practically made the wee wee of fuckin' joy the entire time, and I had me three pints of fuckin' Yuengling with dinner. Now that's the way to end a fuckin' weekend!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OH, and I didn't even TELL you about last night's catastrophe... last night I'm on my way home and my cell phone rings, The Wife sez she and The Boy are making homemade pizza for dinner and they need me to stop at Shop Rite to get mozzarella cheese. I get home and The Wife has just turned on the fuckin' oven to pre-heat it. About two minutes in we start going "sniff sniff...what the fuck is that fuckin smell?" THEN we remembered... on Tuesday night when my father in law came over for dinner, The Wife made a bunch of little cake thingies for dessert and we had a couple left over. At the time we went to put all the dinner shit away there was no room on the counter to put the tray with the cakes on it, so we just shoved 'em in the oven so they'd be out of the way... and of course forgot they were there. As fate would have it, they were on a PLASTIC TRAY too, so now when we open the oven there's a cloud of fuckin smoke, and three little cakes burnt to a crisp sitting on the oven shelf. The plastic tray had turned into a puddle of soup at the bottom of the oven. Motherfucker did that ever fuckin STINK!!! So we gotta stop everything we're doing, scrape out all the fuckin' melted plastic out of the fuckin' oven and off the racks, then we've gotta put the oven on self-cleaning to burn off whatever's left, plus we had to open every fuckin door and fuckin' window in the fuckin' house to let all the nasty ass smoke out. Did I mention it was fuckin' HOT yesterday afternoon?? Jeezus K. Reist, what a clusterfuck.

 

As Adam Sandler said in one of his movies (I forget which one), "FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS." At this rate I almost want to go back to fuckin' work on Monday already!!!

 

Did I set a record for the largest # of "fucks" in one post yet?? :lol:

 

:rofl2: I've fucking done that before as well so don't feel to fucking bad about it.

 

The fam and I went to the beach this weekend and we all got fucking burnt to a crisp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gonna be a fuckin hot one out there today kids... y'all remember to keep fuckin' hydrated and stay fuckin' cool!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

can one stay cool while fucking? :lol:

 

Maybe if you're out on the ice fuckin' a penguin or a polar bear. :yikes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

can one stay cool while fucking? :lol:

 

Maybe if you're out on the ice fuckin' a penguin or a polar bear. :yikes:

Or an errant snow"person" <_<

 

Maybe that's why snowmen are always fuckin smiling!! :lol:

 

P.S. Wotty, you forgot to say the magic F word.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.