Lets Do This (If it never been done)LOL

[Leykis101]

I have to do this, im terribly sorry, and if this offends anyone, or if you fall into this category, since it will be exploited easily if you are, then I am so so so sorry, I do not mean to offend anyone, I truly value the hearts, feelings, and most of all opinions of everyone of my HH brothers, but I'm really really stoned, (been landscaping all day, doing rock work) and Ive been reading through all the HH reviews, over on the site, and It just dawned on me, as I busted into complete and utter laughter, something has truly made me grin for a long long time, and not exactly in a humorous way, it's the people who try to write a certain type of review, don't even know if it has a name for sure, but it's almost like a crossover between a really cheesy Avon catalog, and the Hustler\Cheri magazine story's supposedly that have been sent in about someones absolutely unbelievable fucking experience, and when I mean unbelievable, I mean it literally, so if anyone on here knows what I'm talking about, and you catch on to what im saying, THEN YOUR BUSTED, YOU'VE BEEN DOING LANDSCAPING (PARTICULARLY ROCK WORK) TOO!! Go ahead and write said review, but try not to make it to over the top, were not showing anyone up on here, word gets out, and the true and top authors of these reviews might find out and crucify us all!! good luck, and once again, if this is offensive, please just go ahead and make a new thread, and post your outrage on it, that way we make sure it gets seen, and can take the appropriate action, good luck!

 

It was pouring rain when I slammed the front door of my house, thank god I was wearing my slicker, cause I was carrying that huge package in my hands, and it no doubt would have gotten soaken wet, I couldn't wait to explore this brand new package, as I carefully tore the wrapper off of it, being careful not to damage any of its content, I finally got the skirting over and the corners down, and there was the box I'd been waiting over 20 years to get the contents of, I carefully worked the tape back and forth, making sure I would never damage it, as I parted the folds on the box, and squeezed the two outer slips open, to reveal its contents, it was almost like a shining light appeared from inside, I looked deep inside of it, and there was the disc, I had looked for almost 20 years for it, I gently slid my fingers inside, and ever so gently pulled it out, really smooth, this tasty little morsel had been yearning to get put into my hardware listening device since I was in elementary school, now it was finally going to happen, I kicked off with track 1, this ever so energized little juicy ditty, had me tappen my toe, and boppen my flow, my hips were jigglin this way and that, by the time track 2 kicked in, my hips were so tired already, it's unclear if I was even coherent, all I know was my juices were absolutely flowin, track 3,5, 8, & 12 were the cream of the crop, but track 11 was the cream of my crop, as I smoothed through this tight little squeeze clam, I knew it was finished, I was finished, the shiny emerald that had manipulated me with so much pleasure, was coming to an end, just as this nutty butty was winding down, I felt the earth move under my feet, as my sticky song sauce sauced the entire side of the wall, I was all shook up, and couldn't come down, I tried to aim, but this delicious little cherry bopper left me unable to control any of my bodily functions, so I just went with it, and finished tossing my tune trickle off to the final beat of this rare little gem, but I don't know what the fuck G-Offs talking about, how the fuck did you think this sounds anything like Level 42??? what are you fucking Deaf you fucking idiot, you don't know your dick from your pinky, stop leaving reviews, your an obvious dipshit, don't know what your talking about, folks, I completely give you permission to twinkle this little love nugget all over your metal spindle, and raise it up and down the shaft all day long, I give it 2 stars, or better yet, a 32 rating, if you can find it for basically free, then absolutely grab it, if not, it aint worth dick, don't waste your hard earned money.

 

 

 

[Jacob M.]

What?

[Grey]

...I'm really really stoned

 

I think we can agree on that much.

[KarpetRydOFunk]

Don't do drugs, kids.

[JC_AOR]

WTF

[Geoff]

 

What a really sexy story.

 

I assume that somewhere in the bottom of that you are discreetly suggesting I am one of these folk? Well, used to be, as I haven't written a review there for about 5-10 years... but really? I always thought I just made my ones pretty brief and to the point. Haha. Oh well, diggit.

[Leykis101]

Yeah I was complimenting you who review out on the main board, by paying tribute to the finest reviews of all, if you don't understand, then I cant really explain it, I know 2 of you get it, but outside of you, I don't know how to explain it, most of you obviously just don't pick up on it, explaining it, kind of kicks the fun out of it, you see the fake review I just posted that has you all scratching your head?? well that review is a mock review basically lampooning a certain style of review given by people out on the main board, it's like the review only mines completely over the top, it takes what I am talking about and goes overboard, it's X100 grandiose, so a review written by myself that's so over exaggerated, it calls out exactly what I'm.. complimenting about the type of review I'm paying tribute to, now does anyone kind of get it? seriously I'm not on drugs now(never said I was to begin with)but I am especially not right now, and I understand it, so It can't be that far out, it's not, if you pick up on it, it will make complete sense to you, and I wont seem like I'm that far out there, see if you can find a review to a CD on the main site that might kind of appear to be like the one I wrote, only toned way down, when you find one, you'll probably understand what I am putting out here.

[Leykis101]

 

What a really sexy story.

 

I assume that somewhere in the bottom of that you are discreetly suggesting I am one of these folk? Well, used to be, as I haven't written a review there for about 5-10 years... but really? I always thought I just made my ones pretty brief and to the point. Haha. Oh well, diggit.

HA HA HA!! Your actually 1 of the 2 people I knew absolutely got 100% of what I am talking about, and you do get it, so don't play like you dont know, you seriously think you leave these kind of reviews, you generally are disagreeing with the 4 or 5 guys that do write these type of reviews, hence the complete 180 done towards the end of the review, they always seem to completely fucking bash whoever you have posted that you believe whatever band your reviewing sounds like, they start one of these X-Rated Reviews of cheese, then at the very end, pull up and slam you and your entire review, then go back to reviewing the album, I absolutely lost it on a few of them, it's fucking classic, G-Off has to go to battle just defending his opinion, that is why it's funny G-Off, I suppose you dont go back and read them, cause you stop responding to most of them, now you get it?

[Geoff]

Haha, yeah I remember those days and everyone disagreeing. I guess I thought it was fun at the time but probably grew bored with it. Don't worry, I'm picking up what you're putting down.

 

To save all the speculation, though, you could just have easily said that you hate Mark (metalmaniac777) because he is a christian and you hate all christians. Please don't. Mark's actually a cool guy. Except for the whole christian thing, but who knows? One day I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

[metalmaniac777]

To save all the speculation...you could just have easily said that you hate Mark (metalmaniac777) because he is a christian and you hate all christians. Please don't. Mark's actually a cool guy.

Wait...what?? That stoned rant was about some of my old reviews on the main site? I missed that. Then again, I do remember back in the day a couple of people complaining about my fondness for metaphors, alliteration, hyperbole and other writing techniques. All I ever tried to do was not bang out generic reviews and put a little style into 'em. I don't have the time to review now--even quit my gig reviewing for Hardrock Haven--and have pretty much become nothing more than a lurker on the boards.

[JC_AOR]

 

To save all the speculation...you could just have easily said that you hate Mark (metalmaniac777) because he is a christian and you hate all christians. Please don't. Mark's actually a cool guy.

Wait...what?? That stoned rant was about some of my old reviews on the main site? I missed that. Then again, I do remember back in the day a couple of people complaining about my fondness for metaphors, alliteration, hyperbole and other writing techniques. All I ever tried to do was not bang out generic reviews and put a little style into 'em. I don't have the time to review now--even quit my gig reviewing for Hardrock Haven--and have pretty much become nothing more than a lurker on the boards.

That's a shame I used to love your Hardrock Haven reviews. Always thought you had a real talent for writing reviews.

[Leykis101]

Haha, yeah I remember those days and everyone disagreeing. I guess I thought it was fun at the time but probably grew bored with it. Don't worry, I'm picking up what you're putting down.

 

To save all the speculation, though, you could just have easily said that you hate Mark (metalmaniac777) because he is a christian and you hate all christians. Please don't. Mark's actually a cool guy. Except for the whole christian thing, but who knows? One day I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

 

NICE TRY!!

[Leykis101]

 

To save all the speculation...you could just have easily said that you hate Mark (metalmaniac777) because he is a christian and you hate all christians. Please don't. Mark's actually a cool guy.

Wait...what?? That stoned rant was about some of my old reviews on the main site? I missed that. Then again, I do remember back in the day a couple of people complaining about my fondness for metaphors, alliteration, hyperbole and other writing techniques. All I ever tried to do was not bang out generic reviews and put a little style into 'em. I don't have the time to review now--even quit my gig reviewing for Hardrock Haven--and have pretty much become nothing more than a lurker on the boards.

 

 

No Mark, don't even think about it bro, he's trying to give me a taste of my own medicine, he just throwing you under the bus hoping to get you pissed off at me, because he thinks im inciting shit, by way of the "inside joke" tunnel, this is actually so inside, that he had to think about it, so he's trying to keep it inside, while trying to dick me up, and make me look like this is about a specific person, or a specific review, Mark I assure you it is not, it is about a review type, and while you may kind of be guilty of some of the things im lampooning, I actually do not have a certain poster in mind, far as I can tell, there are many reviewers who did these reviews, you just happened to have excelled at them! so I don't know why you stopped, you never heard me say it was negative or positive, he's just giving me a taste of my own bullshit, so like I said, NOT TRYING TO OFFEND OR HURT ANYONE'S FEELINGS, HONESTLY, but I just couldn't help it not one day more, I had to attack this head on, and get it out here, there is also a certain type of poster that I plan on doing another one of these on, only this is going to be a negative and offensive thread, because it's a negative and offensive poster, who ive followed around and read, and I wish I knew who it was, and if they are on here chatting with me, as I wasn't really around on the main site when these reviews and replies were going on, it was a little before I started truly engaging on HH, I was a member long before I ever started to socialize with you guys, sadly, I missed out on a lot of open pop shots I could've taken against some true cocksuckers, I mean just set them up and taken em down, your cool mark