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Pointless Nonsense


Wotty

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The cave looked dark. Steve and Bernie were hesitant to enter. The looked at each other. "Should we enter?" they said in unison. "Yeah," they said in unison. "You're gay," they said in unison. 'Lolz," they said in unison.

 

After much discussion they ventured into the cave. As first suspected, it was dark. "It's pretty dark in here," they said in unison. And it was. It was dark in there.

 

:unsure: i cant see anything.

:unsure: i cant see anything.

 

Me neither...shit where did everyone go :unsure:

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The cave looked dark. Steve and Bernie were hesitant to enter. The looked at each other. "Should we enter?" they said in unison. "Yeah," they said in unison. "You're gay," they said in unison. 'Lolz," they said in unison.

 

After much discussion they ventured into the cave. As first suspected, it was dark. "It's pretty dark in here," they said in unison. And it was. It was dark in there.

 

:unsure: i cant see anything.

:unsure: i cant see anything.

 

Me neither...shit where did everyone go :unsure:

Pretty sure the polar bear got them. Oh well, at least we're still he- *gobble gobble*

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The face was shaped like a face. Articulate craftmanship was required to create the face. At face value, the face thought he'd face the realisation of his disappointment face-on.

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The crest of the wave slammed down onto his neck as he tried to slot himself into the hollowing barrel. His face splattered on the hard surface of water as the force of the lip at his back pounded him downwards. He went under, internally cursing the pain all over. Underneath, he was jostled around like a sock in a washing machine, his neck being ripped from side to side by the force of the wave crashing. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime or limb tearing, the spinning waters released him and he broke the surface, gasping for sweet oxygen, hungrily chewing it up before the next wave hit and took him under again. Just before he was sucked in the deep again he quietly whispered, "Gnarly, dude."

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He cursed the fact that the lightbulb had blown as he descended down the creaking staircase into the cellar. The light from upstairs reflected on the damp walls as he made his way into the void. Three steps from the bottom he tumbled, luckily he found his feet before he fell face first into the filth that was piled up below the cloying smell of which invaded his nostrils. In this twilight world he could just make out the dull shadowy shape that was the drier...wash day was a bitch!

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The mist was unsettling, but this settled him. He sat on a stone awaiting it's ascent into the morning skies.

 

The mist was settling, but he was unsettled. He lay pressed down to the damp marshes, wishing the dickhead sitting on him would realise he was a turtle, not a stone.

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The bacon looked crisp, but he dared not touch it. He did not want to betray the ham.

But the ham laughed "hahahahahaaaaarrrghhh"

Then said "You are weak human..touch me, TOUCH ME ...let your filthy human hands touch my piggyness, let your depraved human senses caress my animal form....SHLURP"

and the porky pig threw itself into a bun.....with various sauces ready to drip onto it's piggy wiggy body - which was writhing in some kind of pre piggy scoffed up for breakfast ecstasy.

But some rascally crows watched the fun bun antics.

The crows went "Yum" as a miriad of crow flick knives cut the air "You're my flesh now piggo!" said King Crow Kong.

Luckily the ham had human wellington boots on (bought from a black market chap) and easily dodged the outraged crows on his flick quad bike that he kept concealed in his pocket.

Ham laughed and gave the crows the finger as he sped over the crest of the nearest hill - and once out of sight made his porky way to the "Putty Barn" to model himself a vase of sorrow to be filled with remorse....either that or daffodils pinched from someones front garden.

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Having read the 'Tale of Ham' I feel I have nothing left to contribute.

 

Only the dusk's scent, fresh in the leopard's nostrils kept the buffalo from being taken out for tea and biscuits that evening. Malcolm the leopard would normally have loved such company for tea.

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It was a huge vat of brine, so large that in the semi darkness the far side was indistinguishable from the back wall of the room.

Trevor reached in, ladel in hand and brought out a half pint of the liquid and put it in the glass jar that he held in his other hand. He watched as the apricot floated to the surface and then screwed the lid of the jar on tightly.

"That's my lunch for tomorrow sorted", he thought to himself as he placed the jar on the shelf next to the one containing his pefectly preserved wife.

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His safety was a priority, Stefan Holdenborg thought, as he climbed into the grill. For Stefan, assuming how a chicken schnitzel felt would never be good enough.

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He was bloody but unbowed as he surveyed the battle scene strewn with the bodies of those who had dared to challenge him. Having survived many fights against greater and more ingenious foes he now reigned supreme, finally the glories of war and combat were surely his to revel in.

 

Then he clicked EXIT on Doom3, powered off his PC and went to bed.

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The Amorous perplexity of thought and sound arose from Cliff's mind..perhaps

he could sort out the details later..unless..unless Phyllis could help...it was worth

a shot...but wait...the smell...she would know....

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The Amorous perplexity of thought and sound arose from Cliff's mind..perhaps

he could sort out the details later..unless..unless Phyllis could help...it was worth

a shot...but wait...the smell...she would know....

:blink::wacko::rofl2:

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He was bloody but unbowed as he surveyed the battle scene strewn with the bodies of those who had dared to challenge him. Having survived many fights against greater and more ingenious foes he now reigned supreme, finally the glories of war and combat were surely his to revel in.

 

Then he clicked EXIT on Doom3, powered off his PC and went to bed.

 

Sir Nick, ... my hero ! ;)

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