Pointless Nonsense

[Nick C]

The last rainbow, the last rain filtered through a dead sun gave natures final firework display.

Imprinted on my retina 1078 Post Arc Wars, the space race have gone, the carriers off to a new sun, a new world. We were deserted, left, abandoned.

No Supernova, just a quiet death of a star hastened to its death, farmed by industry bent on profit. Energy used to build a myriad of wonders that now lie in ruins, a mausoleum, a mausoleum meant for us ... not them.

We had 5000 years to escape, the damage was done to the star, we helped - our greatest scientists perfected the DNA modifications we would need for deep space travel, the two races we 'evolved' into with their help .. yet still one ...mankind. The sleepers, hibernators, genetically created to survive the long trawl to the next habitable star system, created to withstand the heavier gravities expected on the planets circling it. The Spacers, gossamer beings created to live on and monitor the deep space transporters - highly resilient, logical, subservient. Require only one meal...the "birth meal" which lasts their lifespan, prolific breeders . Able to withstand the massive external forces as the arcs jump after re-charging.

 

And the arcs go on - ever further from us.

 

 

They called us friends, comrades, we worked towards the cause, we sweat, cried, bled, died and eventually in the final act of betrayal were discarded.

The greatest among us left here ...so the richest could scurry away protecting thier fat hides.

 

It's a 1000 years since they left, sorry since they left us. Big mistake leaving some of the finest here in the rush to abandon this Earth....we caught up with and then we surpassed those who left us here, we had to.

 

They have their warriors, we have ours ... the light is fading and now we are coming.

 

 

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SPECIES: UNKNOWN

CONDITION: DECEASED

METHOD: DEEP NEUROSCAN AND IMAGING

 

SUMMARY

 

THE SUBJECT WAS FOUND DRIED OUT, DESSICATED. IT TOOK MANY ATTEMPTS TO GET A SATISFACTORY SCAN.

THE SCAN SUGGESTS THIS WAS THE BEINGS HOMEWORLD, IT IS LITTLE MORE THEN A ROCK NOW AND THIS IS THE ONLY THING WE COULD FIND IN OUR SHORT RECON.

TWO RACES? ONE LEFT AND THE SECOND FOLLOWED.

SUGGEST WE TRACE THE AMBIENT TRAILS FROM THIS WORLD - SEARCH BASED ON TECHNOLOGY LEVEL GARNERED FROM SUBJECT SUGGESTS ION POWERED OR LOW TECH RAMJET PROPULSION.

TIME TO HARVEST....

 

BY THE WAY ZE$%£H^&F^^^7&K-K-K-K-PGH ...I PUT A LINE ON MY MARMITE JAR SO IF YOU'VE HAD ANY I'LL KNOW!!!!!

[Wotty]

"I fell in love with San Pedro".......

[Stefan]

"I fell in love with San Pedro".......

Well I fell in love with Madonna...

[Wotty]

"I fell in love with San Pedro".......

Well I fell in love with Madonna...

[Nick C]

'Eavy Mekkle!

[Nick C]

Eh? Oh! Arrr!

[Wotty]

Eh? Oh! Arrr!

The sound that a fuckin' Norfolk carrot-cruncher makes !!!!

[Geoff]

I have never been as entranced by a work of... fiction (or was it?) as I have with Nick's opus above. I printed it out and rubbed my face with the paper... just to be a part of it.

[Wotty]

I have never been as entranced by a work of... fiction (or was it?) as I have with Nick's opus above. I printed it out and rubbed my face with the paper... just to be a part of it.

[Nick C]

Beans on Toast!

[Nick C]

Modern vampire films are soppy romantic emo nonsense!

[Geoff]

Jordan sat in his room alone listening to My Chemical Romance. Someone knocked at his bedroom door. He flicked the red fringe of his dyed hair from his left eye. "Yeah?" he called out.

"Jordan, it's just me. Mom. I brought you dinner."

"Thanks Mom," said Jordan, pushing himself up from his bed and opening the door for his mother. He took the plate from her grasp. "Thanks Mom," he repeated, and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, my naughty little vampire," said Jordan's mum, ruffling up his hair. "Enjoy your Ox flesh."

Jordan went back to his bed as his mother closed the door behind her.

He sat on his bed gnawing at ox heart when suddenly Emily knocked at his window. Jordan's eye-liner pencilled eyes welled up as he saw his true love. He dropped his dinner plate to the floor and rushed to the window, opening it for Emily. She fell into his embrace and they kissed passionately.

"Oh Jordan," said Emily. "I love you so much."

"Emily, you're the reason I maintain my existence... I face the day merely to see your smile and surrender to your embrace. I love you more than the centuries that I am old. Our love will last beyond anything of worldly presence."

"Jordan, turn me. Please. Let me be with you forever."

"I can't," Jordan says, turning away from his love. "I can't let you be what I am. You are human and I am a vampire. Is out love not enough?"

Emily wept, and Jordan took her in his arms. "But I promise to love you forever. Even when you are an 80 year old human I promise to insert my frozen-in-time 22 year old penis in you. Oh, I love you so much."

"I love you too," said Emily. "I can't wait to hang out with you at the beach tomorrow with all my human and werewolf friends, like we do every weekend."

"I can't wait either. As long as I have this ring on my finger, the beach and high school are my favourite places on earth," said Jordan.

[Nick C]

See what I mean!

[Geoff]

See what I mean!

You mean you don't like my transcript? It's set for cinema release next month, spin-off TV series to come early 2012.

 

Wow. I really like it. It's called 'Vampire In Love.'

[Nick C]

See what I mean!

You mean you don't like my transcript? It's set for cinema release next month, spin-off TV series to come early 2012.

 

Wow. I really like it. It's called 'Vampire In Love.'

 

Don't get blood on yer lovely frilly shirt! Do vampires carry napkins?

[Geoff]

See what I mean!

You mean you don't like my transcript? It's set for cinema release next month, spin-off TV series to come early 2012.

 

Wow. I really like it. It's called 'Vampire In Love.'

 

Don't get blood on yer lovely frilly shirt! Do vampires carry napkins?

They do in my movie.

[Nick C]

It's gotta be great then, I can't think of any bad movies that feature napkins!

 

As the saying goes "napkin maketh the man!"

[Wotty]

Beans on Toast!

Nooooooooooooo The "proper meal" substitute !!!!!

[Stefan]

Blah-blah-blah she said.

Awesome!

[Wotty]

Cold curry !!!!

[Wotty]

Wales !!!!!!!!!!!

[Nick C]

Waltzing with fridge magnets.

[Wotty]

Waltzing with fridge magnets.

To Lionel Richie's "Stuck On You " I'll wager !!!!!!!

[Wotty]

Warriors......Come out to plaaaayyyyyyy..yaaaayyyy !!!!!

[Wotty]

"Heavy like a bomb........."