Pointless Nonsense

[Wotty]

Salmon stamping !!!

[Nick C]

Pepsi!

[Wotty]

Pasturised baked beans !!!!

[Geoff]

Craig stood lonely on the edge of time. "It sure is lonely here," said Craig.

 

"Where are you?" the wind whispered.

 

"On the edge of time," Craig said.

 

Thus it was confirmed - it was lonely on the edge of time.

[Wotty]

Getting up everyday !!!

[Geoff]

The wind and rain swept through town and I lay there in a huddled mess. I wanted to kill her but I didn't possess the strength to do so. Upstairs, as I took a photograph of dust, she sat with a needle in her arm and a box of chocolate at her feet. I'd bought her the box of chocolate last Friday and I regretted it. I wish I'd bought her cyanide instead.

 

The marshmallows cook from down the alley and the scent assaults my nostrils, bringing me belief that there is still something beautiful left in the world.

 

Then Adam released the hounds and as they ran towards me I set the camera to 'action shot' mode and took a photo of them rushing towards me. My grasp on the camera loosened as their jaws clamped down onto the bare flesh of my arms, then face, torso and legs. For a moment I thought that it would make a good photo, these torn pieces of flesh being ripped from my body, and then I said goodbye to the world through a long telescope which quickly dimmed and all there was left was black.

[Nick C]

My tramp is becoming rebellious!

[Stefan]

I just used the lawnmover. The day turned out to be pretty perfect. And the day isn't over yet.

[Jez]

My tramp is becoming rebellious!

 

Or is that Mike Tramp the rebellious White Lion?

[Nick C]

Have you ever bought a CD made of chocolate...no...neither have I.

[Geoff]

Travis entered Millenium Records, his favourite record shop of all time. He scanned the isles like he often did. "Hmmm," he said aloud, pausing at the CD made from chocolate. "I think I'll take this one, thanks!"

 

So Travis bought the CD, went home and listened to it. "Hmmm," he said after the first spin. "This is actually pretty sweet."

[Wotty]

Have you ever bought a CD made of chocolate...no...neither have I.

I have.......But it was "Hot" and called "You Sexy Thing" !!!!!

[Geoff]

Xavier went to the lake and sat, watching the swans. "Hi swans," he said. A moment later a beak to the kidney stole his life.

[Wotty]

Xavier went to the lake and sat, watching the swans. "Hi swans," he said. A moment later a beak to the kidney stole his life.

Alas poor Xavier...

[Geoff]

Jones John walked into a convenience store. "Listen," he said to the clerk. "Is it convenient if I ask you to fight me with your fists outside?"

 

"No," said the clerk. "That is far from convenient."

 

"Okay," said Jones. "Do you realise my name is Jones John? Not John Jones, like one would assume it should be. It's Jones John."

 

"That's, uh, cool?" said the clerk, unsure. "Wanna fight now?"

 

And so they fought in the street until the clerk forced a beatdown on Jones John and they sat there awaiting the ambulance.

[Wotty]

What else is "Under The Boarwalk" ?

[Nick C]

What else is "Under The Boarwalk" ?

The BOARwalk??? What's that a pig trail?

[Wotty]

What else is "Under The Boarwalk" ?

The BOARwalk??? What's that a pig trail?

Nope,it's called forgetting to type the "d"....

[Wotty]

1,2,3,4..........

[Nick C]

1,2,3,4..........

You been watching Sesame Street again, I told you to stay away from that particular programme!

[Wotty]

1,2,3,4..........

You been watching Sesame Street again, I told you to stay away from that particular programme!

But the letter of the day is......."f"

[Nick C]

"That's the last time you flick a dead fly scrotum at me", said that bloke with the dead fly scrotum on his forehead.

[Nick C]

Swishhhhh, the sword went swishhhhhhh, "yarrrrghhh!" I said being a pirate myself, the mainsail was spliced, what more could be asked for? Aubergines? I doubt it.......nip nap...BANG! Pip pip...pip........pipipipipip....pip!

[Wotty]

Swishhhhh, the sword went swishhhhhhh, "yarrrrghhh!" I said being a pirate myself, the mainsail was spliced, what more could be asked for? Aubergines? I doubt it.......nip nap...BANG! Pip pip...pip........pipipipipip....pip!

[Nick C]

A bit fucked off with these slugs weeping at my window.....pitiful, anyone have any salt I'll show 'em. Ta! Now let me just spread this salt about a bit....

Just a minute.....they've all got bags of chips*, they're asking for vinegar now!

 

 

*ahem! For you U.S. types, fish and chips is a typical British meal originating from the late 1800's ...chips are what you chaps would call french fries, but not so thin or wimpy a typical chip is probably the size of an air craft carrier, and yet us tuff Brits can eat between 50 - 100 of these air craft carrier sized delicacies in a single sitting. Often we brush troops off them.

If I'm lying I'm dying!