STRESS RELIEF

[Bubbasmama]

I very rarely use this smily......but I gotta ~~~~~>>>>

OK, MJ, you left this one WIDE OPEN...

 

Are you sure that's what Monica did (maybe she chose the other option! Hmmm)

OH HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!

 

 

You are sooooooooooooooo bad, J!!!!!

 

 

 

ewwww.......nah, I'll bet she's a spitter........how ELSE would you explain the infamous "white stains" on that blue dress???? :lol:

 

 

[hsf]

ewwww.......nah, I'll bet she's a spitter........how ELSE would you explain the infamous "white stains" on that blue dress???? :lol:

 

 

Maybe Bill just has bad aim....

[Bubbasmama]

Ewww.....bad mental image.

 

I'm scarred for life now......

 

 

[hsf]

Or in the words of the immortal Al Bundy (a fellow Mahoning Valleyan!) "AHHHHHHHH, I'M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (That idea is enough to make you go blind, or at least want to.)

[ksymrtn]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 

Never hold your farts in.

They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that is where shitty ideas come from!!!!

[T-BONE]

Half dressed redneck couple sitting on couch watching news on TV with man's arm around woman:

 

Man: "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. Right, Darlin'"

 

Woman: "Right, Daddy"

[T-BONE]

A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."

[T-BONE]

Hey Jason...does this sound familiar?

 

 

 

A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12yr old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mom or dad in?" To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?"

[T-BONE]

OUCH!

 

 

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.'' When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?'' Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him. The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''

[T-BONE]

A Doctor's Funeral A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in red roses stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral ... I'm a gynecologist." And at that point, the proctologist fainted.

[T-BONE]

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

[T-BONE]

Revenge sucks!

 

A woman found out that her husband was cheating on her while stationed in Saudi a few months ago. So she sends him this care package. He is excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favorite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees sucking his best friend's dick. After a few seconds, he blows his load in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce."

[hsf]

ewwww.......nah, I'll bet she's a spitter........how ELSE would you explain the infamous "white stains" on that blue dress????   :lol:

 

 

I was walking down the hall at work today and was singing a song and the Monica quote from Mama came back to me. Any idea what song?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

............................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...........................

 

 

 

Home (Bret's Story) - Poison

 

("I left my love running down her dress.")

[Christine]

ewwww.......nah, I'll bet she's a spitter........how ELSE would you explain the infamous "white stains" on that blue dress????   :lol:

 

 

I was walking down the hall at work today and was singing a song and the Monica quote from Mama came back to me. Any idea what song?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

............................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...........................

 

 

 

Home (Bret's Story) - Poison

 

("I left my love running down her dress.")

Again... EEEEWWWW!!!

[Bubbasmama]

LMAO Jay!!! Ok.....no, I would have guessed the line from Nickelback's "Figured You Out" ....... "I Like The White Stains On Your Dress"

[Bubbasmama]

Importance of water, are you drinking enough?

 

 

 

 

75% of all people are chronically dehydrated.

 

 

 

 

In 37% of us, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is

often mistaken for hunger.

 

 

 

 

Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

 

 

 

 

One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost

100% of the dieters studied in a University study.

 

 

 

 

Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

 

 

 

 

Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day

could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of

sufferers.

 

 

 

 

A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory,

trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen

or

 

 

 

 

Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon

cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%,

and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

 

 

 

 

Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

 

 

 

 

(No kidding, all of the above is true..)

 

 

Of course, too much water may have strange side effects (see picture below)

 

SIDE EFFECTS OF DRINKING TOOOOOO MUCH WATER

[Bobbi Flekman]

Nice picture of you! When did you turn into a camel?

[Bubbasmama]

Nice picture of you! When did you turn into a camel?

BOBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

That is sooooooooooooooooooooo NOT me, dammit!!!

[T-BONE]

Can I play with those?

[Bubbasmama]

Can I play with those?

OK.....in that case YES, that IS me!!!!

 

 

KIDDING!!!!

[Bobbi Flekman]

Nice picture of you! When did you turn into a camel?

BOBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

That is sooooooooooooooooooooo NOT me, dammit!!!

You mean to say that you keep photos of other women like that? Hmmm... Food for thought

[jaybird]

thank you for keeping us abreast of the situation.

(o)(o)

[Bubbasmama]

thank you for keeping us abreast of the situation.

(o)(o)

Cute!!!! Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal cute!!!

[jaybird]

Are they perky?

[hsf]

Of course, too much water may have strange side effects (see picture below)

 

SIDE EFFECTS OF DRINKING TOOOOOO MUCH WATER

Gives new meaning to the term "over the shoulder boulder holder"!