STRESS RELIEF

[hsf]

T-Bone, have you ever had anyone (specifically AOL users) tell you they can't access your links.

 

Ever since I've been trying your links under STRESS RELIEF, I can never get them to work. Mama's Penguin Whacking link worked fine, as have others, but I can never get yours to work. Any ideas?

[hsf]

I just clicked on the gas pumping link, under MJ's post that copied your post and it worked fine. WTF?!

[Bubbasmama]

Tilt your head a lil more to the right hsf........I'm on AOL, and it works here.....

 

 

 

It likes me better

[T-BONE]

AO Hell sucks. I have alot of friends that have had it and get rid of it immediately. It's too damn tempermental with links, sites, and other stuff.

[T-BONE]

The Legless Parrot

 

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little

perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I

wonder what happened to this Parrot?"

 

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

 

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered

me!"

 

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly

intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

 

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto

your perch without any feet?"

 

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked,

I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see

it because of my feathers."

 

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English

can't you?"

 

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with

reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,

physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really

ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

 

The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford

that."

 

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody

wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20,

just make the guy an offer!"

 

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The

parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's

insightful. The guy is delighted.

 

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,

"psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if

should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

 

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

 

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the

door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

 

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

 

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie

and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

 

"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"

 

"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss

her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."

 

"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

 

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!

[SEYHEYKID]

T-Bone...

[T-BONE]

OK...More Pinguin Fun!

 

Smack The Pingu

[T-BONE]

God damn annoying friggin.........

 

Annoying Game

[T-BONE]

Nice Hair

[T-BONE]

Hahahaha...this is funny!

 

Trunk Monkey Anti Theft Device

[Bubbasmama]

God damn annoying friggin.........

 

Annoying Game

Razzerfrazzerfrickinflickinflippin................DAMMIT!!!!!

 

I couldn't do shit with this, this morning........and damned if it's not WORSE tonight!!!

 

 

 

 

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO............. 2.641 seconds this time....... that's almost a FULL second longer than the Ex. used to!!!

[T-BONE]

T.M.I. Marla! (Too Much Information)

[Bubbasmama]

OK...More Pinguin Fun!

 

Smack The Pingu

I even suck at this tonight!!! 797.8 is my best......

 

 

I give up......

[T-BONE]

I had over 1100 earlier. I kept hitting the landmines just right

[Bubbasmama]

T.M.I. Marla!    (Too Much Information)

Fully aware of what TMI means!! ONE of my many faults!!!

 

 

Soooooooooo..........what was YOUR score there Mr.???????

 

 

 

Edit: Wooooohoooooo 11.375 now!!!!

 

 

omg........you've created a monster T-BONE

[T-BONE]

Go dye your hair brunette and then try the game. It requires fast thinking

[Bubbasmama]

Go dye your hair brunette and then try the game. It requires fast thinking

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OUCH!!!

 

 

 

*taps foot* And YOUR score???? Hmmmmmmmmmmm?????????????

[T-BONE]

Best so far was 44 seconds. The game gets faster as time goes on

[Bubbasmama]

DANG!!!!

 

Hmmm......maybe I'll turn it over to Bubba......he beat the pants offa me in the Penguin Whacking game!!!! Little turkey had an 1100 something.....his FIRST try!!!

[T-BONE]

You wear pants?

[Bubbasmama]

You wear pants?

Yeah......they help to hide my "ape hangers" that bounce off my knee caps quite well..........

 

[T-BONE]

Bad mental picture

[T-BONE]

A man writes:

 

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men &women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

 

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

I said "WHAT????!!!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am thinking "what was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep.

 

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes, I said "lets get a pair for each outfit." We went to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings.

 

Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was OK.

 

She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when she said "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cash register."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff now."

 

You should have seen her face...it went completely blank. I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

 

I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.

[Bubbasmama]

Touche

 

Guess it served her right.......

[T-BONE]

Fun Game

 

Scroll down and download Elf Bowling 2 and 3. They are hilarious!

 

Games