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STRESS RELIEF

TIM

By TIM
in Exquisite Entropy

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T-BONE Playing Madison Square Gardens

T-BONE

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WHAT PORNOS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE!! It amazes me how some things work into our culture without people getting the joke. If you are addicted to porn, you will believe….

 

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

 

2. Men are never impotent.

 

3. 10 seconds of foreplay is more than satisfactory.

 

4. Gorgeous women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

 

5. Sex will always get a women off a speeding ticket.

 

6. All boobs are real.

 

7. Asian men don't exist.

 

8. Hairy pizza men get sex more often than anyone else you know.

 

9. When your girlfriend catches you with her best friend, she's always open to a threesome.

 

10. Women never have headaches.

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JLPRocks Playing Madison Square Gardens

JLPRocks

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"ape hangers"?????!!!!!!

 

THAT is something I've never heard before..........

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Bubbasmama 87 Platinum Records and a Drug Addiction to Match

Bubbasmama

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"ape hangers"?????!!!!!!

 

THAT is something I've never heard before..........

:o (jason (faq) dubbed 'em that over in the venting area)

 

 

;) Trust me..........they're not!! :lol:

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T-BONE Playing Madison Square Gardens

T-BONE

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:o OMG........I've always wanted a tattoo.........but THAT'S a little bit much!!! :lol:

No Tattoo's MJ...it's all airbrushed.

 

Here's another cool site:

 

Martin Armand

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JLPRocks Playing Madison Square Gardens

JLPRocks

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The wildest tattoo I've ever seen was of the face of the devil tattooed on the girls cooch........that was pretty cool!! haha......

 

Personally....I don't like tattoos...or piercings.....it's such a trendy thing nowadays.....

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T-BONE Playing Madison Square Gardens

T-BONE

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:o Are you implying that todays youth are impressionable mindless zombies that only do things because the popular neighbor or classmate does it? How dare you! :lol:
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Bubbasmama 87 Platinum Records and a Drug Addiction to Match

Bubbasmama

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A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was

nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.

 

"No, I don't."

 

"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of

latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their

hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes

of the right size."

 

She didn't crack a smile.

 

"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.

 

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure,

she burst out laughing.

 

"What's so funny?" he asked.

 

"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"

 

Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working! ;):lol:

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JLPRocks Playing Madison Square Gardens

JLPRocks

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Stick to your day job.................... :lol:

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hsf Playing Madison Square Gardens

hsf

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A jumbo jet is just coming into the Tampa Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in Tampa Bay."

 

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot "Well, skipper, whatcha gonna do in Tampa?"

 

"Well," says the captain, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a big crap... then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the big tits out for dinner... then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and put it to her big time all night."

 

Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle trying to get a look at the new stewardess. Meanwhile, she is at the very back of the plane . She's so embarassed that she starts to run to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway up the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and falls to the floor.

 

The old lady leans over and says "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta take a shit first."

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hsf Playing Madison Square Gardens

hsf

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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them.

 

The beech says to the birch "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

 

The birch cannot tell.

 

Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

 

The birch says "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

 

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies "It is neither a son of a beech or a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in!"

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hsf Playing Madison Square Gardens

hsf

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This maybe would go better under Christine's post in Die Saddam Die.

 

"I voted Republican this year. The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth!"

 

- Monica Lewinsky

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Christine Headlining Act

Christine

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This maybe would go better under Christine's post in Die Saddam Die.

 

"I voted Republican this year. The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth!"

 

- Monica Lewinsky

EEEEWWWW!!!! :lol::lol:

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hsf Playing Madison Square Gardens

hsf

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10 Reasons Why Handguns Are Better Than Women

 

#10. You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.

 

#9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

 

#8. If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

 

#7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

 

#6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.

 

#5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

 

#4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

 

#3. A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

 

#2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

 

And the number one reason why a handgun is better than a woman ...

 

#1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun.

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Christine Headlining Act

Christine

Posted
Posted
10 Reasons Why Handguns Are Better Than Women

 

#10. You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.

 

#9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

 

#8. If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

 

#7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

 

#6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.

 

#5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

 

#4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.

 

#3. A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

 

#2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

 

And the number one reason why a handgun is better than a woman ...

 

#1. You can buy a silencer for a handgun.

Just don't piss off a woman WITH a handgun! ;):lol:

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Bubbasmama 87 Platinum Records and a Drug Addiction to Match

Bubbasmama

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Posted
This maybe would go better under Christine's post in Die Saddam Die.

 

"I voted Republican this year.  The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth!"

 

- Monica Lewinsky

EEEEWWWW!!!! :lol::lol:

:o TOTAL agreement!! I just can't EVEN imagine.......Bill Clinton......ACK!!!

 

 

I very rarely use this smily......but I gotta ~~~~~>>>> :puke:

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hsf Playing Madison Square Gardens

hsf

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I very rarely use this smily......but I gotta ~~~~~>>>> :puke:

OK, MJ, you left this one WIDE OPEN...

 

Are you sure that's what Monica did (maybe she chose the other option! Hmmm)

:lol:

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