Moe: Yeah, alright, listen up guys, the Springfield Police have told me that 91% of all traffic accidents are caused by you six guys. [Moe's regulars exchange high-fives and cheer in triumph.]
Moe: Yeah, I know, I know, but the bad news is we gotta start having designated drivers. [the regulars moan and groan] We'll choose the same way they pick the Pope. [sets a giant glass jar with pickled eggs floating in it on the table] Everybody reach in and draw a pickled egg. Whoever gets the black egg stays sober tonight.