metalmaniac777

Good morning, Scintillating Scimitars. Scooby-Do's super-skilled scholatic skater school scored scoops of scrumptious Skittles. Tomfoolery.

And so we come to "F." Of course, some of you probably want to give me a big "F.U." for not putting your favorite band in this poll, but hey, that's what write-ins are for. My vote goes to Firehouse. Their first two albums are nearly flawless. Runner-up would be Fear Not. Love the crunch & attitude on that one, especially surprising for a Christian band. OK, your turn.

WRONG TURN 2 (Unrated) A totally fun splatterfest with some outrageous gore gags, including a woman split in half, a flayed-open spine, exploding bodies, disembowelments, cannibalism, shotgun wounds, arrows in heads, razor wire slashing, and victims crushed in an industrial garbage grinder. All done with maximum, over-the-top bloodiness. The film is very well-directed, but as you might expect from a straight-to-DVD release, some of the acting could be better. What could not be better, however, is the presence of Henry Rollins playing a badass ex-Marine who goes all Rambo on the cannibals' collective asses. Good stuff, heartily recommended for horror fans who like guts 'n' gore.

The way you said "substitute" could lead one to think that you believe Ranch to be something less than sour cream, when clearly Ranch is the superior of the two condiments. Be careful there, my good man; the Ranch Tooth is a jealous diety and will not take lightly to those who put other condiments before him. Hmmmm, this has got me thinking...you know that unanswerable question they ask in high school science class regarding what would happen if an unstoppable force collided with an immoveable object? Well, what would happen if the Ranch Tooth locked horns with Eric Brittingham? Talk amongst yourselves and get back to me.

Which "E" band do you find the most "E"nticing? As always, write-ins welcome, because God knows in this day & age of rampant political correctness, I wouldn't want anyone feeling discriminated against. My vote goes to Eyes. That debut album is absolute perfection, a marvel of melodic hard rock.

In case some folks missed it, Endeverafter's debut CD ("Kiss or Kill") was released this week and lemme tell ya, the hype around this band is justified. These guys rock it oldschool style, a total throwback to the heydays of 80s hair metal. I hear some Poison, some Warrant, some Guns 'N Roses, some Heavens Edge, some...well, some of just about every band you loved in the late 80s/early 90s!! Sizzling guitars, hot licks, power-hooks galore, pounding drums, sing-along choruses, guitar solos, suggestive lyrics, gang vocals, ripping rockers, moving ballads...these guys have got it all. The vast majority of the members here should eat this up like Rosie O'Donnell at free wings night at her local sports bar. Bottom line, this f'ckin' rawks.

Don't care much for either band, but if I had to listen to one of them, I would go with Journey.

Latest acquisition... Endeverafter: "Kiss or Kill" (fantastic new band!)

28 WEEKS LATER In my opinion, this is one of those rare sequels that actually tops the original. More action, more gore, faster pace...this is to 28 Days Later what Aliens was to Alien.

Good morning, Robotic Romeos. Rancid rageaholic rhubarb rustlers righteously rally rueful roosters. Sextuplets.

Little John huh? Say it ain't so. In Australia some people call a toilet the "john". So what this means is that when I whip my member out of my pants and hold it above the "john", the "john" actually appears very little by comparison. If your member was that big, it wouldn't be hanging above the john, it would be dangling in the water. I am so not impressed. On topic, here are my names... Rock: Jake Dylan Pop: Joey Edmonds Rap: Ice Freak Country: Hunter Coltrain Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to change my username to "Ice Freak." It just doesn't get any more gangsta than that.

At this point, I don't think these polls need any explaining. What's your favorite band whose name starts with "D"? Pretty simple, methinks. Believe it or not, I cast my vote for Disciple. Probably not too many folks 'round here overly familiar with them (not exactly HH material), but they have some of the ballsiest, most slamming, in-yer-face Christian modern/nu-metal around and I love it. So, now that Disciple has the only vote they're going to get, who do you like?

I consider Axel Rudi Pell to be a gifted guitarist, but unfortunately, he only writes 1 or 2 good songs per album. Still, this makes him far superior to the man he is most often compared to, Yngwie Malmsteen, who has only written one good song ("Heaven Tonight") in his entire career. To hear killer guitar playing combined with good songs, check out some Impellitteri, particularly the releases with Rob Rock (who also sang for Pell) on lead vox. Far as I'm concerned, he blows away Malmsteen, Pell, and most other so-called "wizards." Anyway, my vote went to "Nasty Reputation," which contains "Unchain the Thunder" and "Firewall," my two favorite Pell songs.

What, pick only ONE song from a perfect CD? Are you crazy? It's like going to the Playboy Mansion and being asked to pick which girl is the hottest...a truly impossible task. But if I must narrow it down to just one song, then I have to go with "Conspiracy."

Latest acquisition... Seether: "Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces" (excellent modern hard rock/metal)

Wrong, wrong, wrong! It's a great album, not only my favorite Christian hard rock CD of 2007, but one of my top 5 releases of 2007, period.

BROKEN One nasty little horror flick right here. A whopper of an opening (reminiscent of the Saw movies), gorgeous cinematography, graphic gore, and a morbid nihilistic streak make this a great choice for hardcore horror fans who like their stuff badass, bloody, brutal, & uncompromising. This is not "fun" gore, this gore will make you squirm. Yes, the film does suffer from a slow middle, but not enough to ruin the overall experience. Trust me, the savagely unexpected finale will make you forget any pacing problems that came before it. Bottom line, not for everyone (particularly the squeamish or those who insist on happy endings) but hardcore horror afficianados will want to check it out. It definitely earned a spot in my horror DVD collection.

Hey, why do you get to choose? Huh? Who died and left you Emperor of the Known...oh yeah, uh, never mind.

Is HH the same as it was 6 yrs. ago? No. Are there bands/artists listed here that don't belong? Yes. Is it possible to have unanimous agreement on this subject? No. Is this still the greatest melodic rock site on the web? Yes. Do I wish Pete wasn't here? Uh, no comment.

Another one of these wonderfully self-explanatory polls. Which of these bands "C"s the most play-time in your stereo? As always, write-ins welcome, because 'round these parts we certainly realize that we can't please everyone. My vote goes to Crystal Ball. Love everything they've done. So, who's your favorite "C"? And if anyone says "c-cup," then you must provide photos to show exactly what it is you're referring to.

Latest acquisition... Kids in the Way: "A Love Hate Masquerade"

Count me the fuck out...I am not a fellow fucker. I do NOT fuck fellows. Count me the fuck out too. Fellows just don't fuckin' do it for me. They fuckin' just might for Geoff depending how fuckin' pretty they were. Like Oscar De La Hoya in fuckin' lingerie. If that image doesn't make you kinda-sorta wish you were fucking gay, I don't know what the fuck does.

I believe this poll is pretty self-explanatory. I voted for The Brave. I consider their debut, "Battle Cries," to be melodic hard rock perfection. OK, your turn...and as always, if I have forgotten (or purposefully ignored) your favorite "B" band, feel free to write 'em in. These polls are proof that you can make some of the people happy all of the time, and all of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time...or, er, something like that...

Count me the fuck out...I am not a fellow fucker. I do NOT fuck fellows.

I thought Catholics were Christians? Just a little ribbing there, Mark. I would love to reply, but unfortunately, because I wear a "God Headbanged" shirt, I am apparently numbered among the pagans and no longer qualified to discern who is a Christian and who is not.