STRESS RELIEF

[T-BONE]

Escape From Neverland

[Bubbasmama]

Saw this on another board this morning......and I can't stop laughing!!!

 

*Evil* goin' on around here!!!

 

 

Ummmm........."shut up"????

[Rick]

Hey MJ, your link isn't working. Care to try again?

[Bubbasmama]

Well.....phooey!!! It's working from here.......wanna come look at my computer???

 

 

Let's try this............ http://www.e-places.net/samples/stfu.html

[T-BONE]

Hip Hop Harmonica

[T-BONE]

Smack The Pingu

[T-BONE]

Phucking Change

[Bubbasmama]

Phucking Change

OMG!!!!!! Get the soap!!!!

[hsf]

(Haven't read this whole thread yet, so I hope this isn't a repeat.)

 

A girl and her mom are sitting on the front porch one night. As it gets later, it gets cold and the girl tells her mom "My hands are really cold." The mom says "Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up."

 

The following night, the girl is sitting in the park with her boyfriend. He says "Boy, my hands are freezing." His girlfriend replies "Put them between my legs. My body heat will warm them up." Thinking quickly, he responds "You know, my penis is frozen too!"

 

The next night, the girl and her mom are back on the porch. After sitting in silence for a bit, the girl sheepishly asks her mom "Mom, do you know what a penis is?" The mom, terrified, says "Uh, yes, why?" The girl replies "They sure do make one heck of a mess when they defrost, don't they?"

[T-BONE]

Check this shit out!!!

 

Bunker For Sale?

[T-BONE]

First Date:

 

[T-BONE]

Now we know where the short bus picks the kids up

 

[T-BONE]

[hsf]

more RIAA fun

[hsf]

A market researcher is going door to door. He knocks on a door and a beautiful woman answers.

 

He says "Hello, I'm doing smoe research for a vaseline manufacturer. Have you ever used this type of product?"

 

"Yes, my husband and I use it every time we have sex!"

 

The shocked man replies "Well, thank you for your honesty. Pardon me if this is an intrusion, but, how exactly do you use it?"

 

"We put it on the doorknob so the children can't get in."

[Bubbasmama]

I must be a sick puppy.......cuz this just makes me roll on the floor!!

 

 

[Bubbasmama]

HUSBAND QUOTES

 

FUNNY! (even if I do resemble these remarks!! )

 

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

 

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

 

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

 

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said,

"Dust!"

 

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

 

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

 

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

 

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

 

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man

doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every

country, son.

 

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife Wanted". Next day he

received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

 

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

 

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky,

mine's still alive."

 

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

 

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking

they had no faults at all.

 

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word

you say, talk in your sleep.

 

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

 

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get

married?"

And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying.

[Bubbasmama]

New beach wear for men............which one of y'uns is gonna be the first to model for me??????

 

 

 

[T-BONE]

The Olympics have just added a new sport. They combined Hurdling with Taking A Shit and it's called "TURDLING"

 

[T-BONE]

New beach wear for men............which one of y'uns is gonna be the first to model for me??????

 

 

 

I want to see you in it first babe!

[Rick]

Hey MJ, where did you get my pic??

[Bubbasmama]

I want to see you in it first babe!  

Yeahhhhhhhh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!

 

 

 

Rick........

 

 

 

 

 

[Bubbasmama]

Guess Who?

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.

 

"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

 

"But why?" asks the man.

 

"I'm a divorce lawyer."

[T-BONE]

Sword Slip

 

Ouch

[T-BONE]

A guy buys a ranch in the middle of nowhere with no one in sight. A couple of weeks go by and one day he sees a horse and rider approaching his homestead. The man arrives and explains,"I am your neighbor from a few miles away and I thought it would be nice to throw a party as a way of inviting you to the neighborhood. But let me warn you, my parties get pretty wild. There is going to be a whole lotta drinking, a whole lotta fighting, and a whole lotta fucking. The new home steader replies" oh boy, that sounds great! What should I wear". The rider replies,"it doesn't matter its just going to be me an you.