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Caster Semenya? As Austin Powers Would Say...


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  • 3 weeks later...

Well, the gender tests are in, and the result is......... a hermaphrodite. No ovaries, but a whopping set of internal testes, which produce large amounts of testosterone.


"Semenya's father, Jacob, expressed anger when contacted by The Associated Press on Friday, saying people who insinuate his daughter is not a woman "are sick. They are crazy."


He said he had not been told anything by the IAAF or Athletics South Africa, the local governing body.


"I know nothing," he said. "


Gee, thanks for that informative update, Sergeant Schultz.


South African Sports Minister Makhenkesi Stofile held a press conference Friday to express his horror at the handling of the whole affair. He insisted Caster, who won gold at the world athletic championships in August, is female and that lack of a womb should not disqualify her from women's competition.


But the inclusion of balls should allow Caster to run in both men's and women's fields, no? Just because Justin Timberlake has no balls, does that mean he's any less of a man? Okay, bad example - he's a pussy no matter how you slice it.


Caster would be wise to milk this for as much publicity as possible. Do the talk show circuit and do tabloid interviews up the ying yang. Make as much bucks as possible in a short amount of time and be set for life because you just know the IAFF is simply not going to allow her/him/whatever to compete against normal women and win by a landslide every race 'cause those nuts are just a-churnin' out them hormones. So, to Caster, I offer up my tribute in the form of the song of the day - AC/DC's She's Got Balls.

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