Jump to content

Anyone want a new Sat Nav?


Captain Howdy
 Share

Recommended Posts

I saw this one yesterday... Pretty funny stuff.

 

Looks like ebay might make him take down the listing...so I thought I'd preserve this masterpiece for all who may miss it.

 

 

 

TomTom GO 700 Automotive GPS Receiver

 

DESCRIPTION OF ITEM:

 

You are bidding on a TomTom Go 700

 

This was my wife's, may her knicker draw be infested with the fleas of a thousand Camels...

 

The Go 700 was once the top of the range Sat Nav from TomTom, with an internal Hard Disk Drive instead of the traditional SD Card, and had full Bluetooth and Wireless capabilities.

 

I bought this for the back-stabbing harlot, some four or five years ago, before she met Nigel with the Little Penis, and it cost me over £400...

As bless her cheating little heart, she gets lost driving out of the street...perhaps without this she would never have found the way to Nigels door, nor perhaps his stain riddled bed...

 

Her infidelity was discovered when I took her car for an MOT, and while waiting, I was tinkering with the Sat Nav and noticed that all her recent journeys had all been to Nigel's...

So, like any normal human, I reprogrammed Nigel's address to one in a town far far away...

 

My wife bless her treacherous ways, didn't realise there was anything amiss until she was driving East along the M4.

She then tried to act all innocent and lying through her cherry red venemous snake lips, asked if I could sort out her beloved TomTom as something was terribly wrong with it: when she used it to drive to her sisters it took her along the M4.

I presume her sister means Nigel with the erectile problems...

With the anger of the betrayed I said I would, but my frustration and anger caused me to accidently delete all the files from the internal drive instead...

 

Words were spoken, accusations were made... The air hung heavy and was coloured blue with profanity...

I find it difficult to believe her claims that this is all my fault...

I wasn't the one getting lost while travelling to Pencil Dick Nigel's house...

 

After much arguing she has decided her future lies in the squallor of Nigel's cockroach infested hovell...

Good luck to them both... may the ten plagues of Egypt visit their stained adulterous bed...

 

I now have her TomTom Go 700 but have no idea how to reinstall the software, and really I don't want the reminder of the cheating, lying, heartless, creature of the night.

All the other accessories are still in her car, so I hope they are happy living at Nigels together.

 

Therefore this auction is just for the TomTom Go 700 itself...

 

I'm sure someone somewhere can make this work...

 

 

As an after thought...

There is no returns for this...I really don't want it back...

 

The auction Starts at a low but fair £20 and all proceeds will go to taking me out on a bloody good night with copious amounts of alcahol, wine, women, and song...and if the price is right...maybe a curry to boot...

 

So please bid with confidence that all proceeds are for a very worthy cause...

 

Good Luck

 

Oh and Postage is for UK only So anywhere else contact me for a price to anywhere else...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.