metalmaniac777

I voted for Warrant, not because I like their cover album, but it's the best of a bad bunch. Still, I looked at the list of choices,and felt like I was trying to decide what I would rather eat, dogshit or cowshit.

Latest acquisitions...

Demon Hunter: "Storm the Gates of Hell"

2 Die 4: s/t

Poison: "Poison'D"

Back in the day, I purchased CDs from just about all the usual suspects (Wildside, Restless & Wild, DreamDisc, etc.) but none could match (for me, anyway) the customer service of Wildside. Once Sarah knew what my preferences were (guitar-driven, big hooks, big choruses, big vocals, etc.) she would make all sorts of recommendations and play them over the phone for me. She's actually the one who turned me onto Crystal Ball back when they released their awesome (and still-unmatched) debut.

On a different note, anyone remember how hysterical the reviews were on Restless & Wild? That guy wrote some funny shit and wasn't afraid to tell you something was total crap, even if it meant he wouldn't sell it. With lines like "this is worse than licking the anal drippings of a syphilitic cow," the guy definitely pulled no punches! I used to visit his site just to read his CD descriptions, even if I wasn't looking to buy anything.

Ah, good times, good times.

I have been getting numerous e-mail notices about PMs from board members......have received about a dozen already this week.......

Braggart. Go ahead, rub it in about how popular you are.

SAW IV

I'm a huge fan of the SAW franchise, and I thought after "III" they had a perfect trilogy on their hands, but money talks, so here we are with another addition to the series, and while it's not as good as what came before it, it's not as bad as it might have been either. Jigsaw is truly dead, but even from beyond the grave (no, he doesn't come back as a zombie or ghost or anything like that) he still manages to f*ck with people in really twisted ways. We get further insight into what made him become Jigsaw, the usual end-game plot twists (I guessed one, not the other, for what it's worth), a few more pieces of the overall puzzle are put together, and of course, the deliciously diabolical traps, which are as gruesome as ever.

Word to the wise, however: do not even attempt to watching this without having seen the others, particularly Saw III. At this point, the Saw movies are like a graphically-violent grand guignol soap opera, interlinked and layered, each new movie adding texture to the one that came before it.

Seventh Seal: s/t

Good morning, Teabagging Tennenbaums.

Tempermental tarantulas totally terminated testy testicles.

Uncle.

"Always and Forever" ~ Without Love

ENDEVERAFTER: "Kiss or Kill"

This band garnered lots of attention from hair-metal fans earlier this year when their nudity-drenched, girl-on-girl action video for "Baby Baby Baby" showcased an oldschool sound that owed more than a little to early Poison, albeit with the bigger production sound available to today's bands. Having now heard the entire album, I can safely attest to the fact that this is some killer 80s-style pop-metal/hard rock. Rockin' guitars, catchy hooks, pounding drums, sing-along choruses, "naughty" lyrics, gang vocals...it's all here.

I've said it on other threads and now I'm saying it here: this album f'ckin' rawks.

And so we come to th "G" bands.

Gave my vote to Guns N' Roses solely because "Appetite for Destruction" is still an ass-kicker to this day, an undeniable, bona fide classic in hard rock history.

OK, your turn. G-G-G-G-Go!

WRONG TURN 2 (Unrated)

 

A totally fun splatterfest with some outrageous gore gags, including a woman split in half, a flayed-open spine, exploding bodies, disembowelments, cannibalism, shotgun wounds, arrows in heads, razor wire slashing, and victims crushed in an industrial garbage grinder. All done with maximum, over-the-top bloodiness. The film is very well-directed, but as you might expect from a straight-to-DVD release, some of the acting could be better. What could not be better, however, is the presence of Henry Rollins playing a badass ex-Marine who goes all Rambo on the cannibals' collective asses.

 

Good stuff, heartily recommended for horror fans who like guts 'n' gore.

There's a Wrong Turn 2?? The first one had that sexy girl from Buffy in it, hey? Elisha Dushku or whatever. Is she in the sequel?

Yep, believe it or not, they made a sequel. No Elisha Dushku this time around, though. However, Geoff, you will be happy to know that the stereotypical slutty girl gets naked in the movie, displaying her delicous norks and delectable ass. Of course, right after this sexy moment, she's face-down in a mountain stream with her spine carved open, which is a not-to-sexy moment. (Hope I didn't spoil the movie by telling you the slutty girl gets sliced-n-diced. I know that's such a shocking, never-been-used plot turn in horror films...)

Three words:

 

Autographed...Rockarma...CDs.

Actually, since "CDs" stands for "Compact Discs," that would make your little suggestion four words, not three.

Just sayin'.

Hey Dan, if you're after some cool prizes I guess I could sign a few photos of myself if that's cool with everyone.

 

Or maybe ask Cauterize to sign some copies of their "Paper Wings" masterpiece as prizes? That's if you can find the Subway store they're now working in...

OUCH!!

Thanks for the heads up on this one Geoff. Very good nu-breed stuff with a harder edge (which is always good). My brother Mark might not like it, but that's not saying much since he's actually starting to add some screamcore crap to his collection (So sad).

Careful what you say, little brother...Geoff likes Bullet For My Valentine just as much as I do. And hey, who are you to mock my heavy-metal tastes when you listen to wimpy Christian pop-rock like Avalon? Don't be bringin' the smackdown here, bro, or I'll have to tell the board about how you wet the bed until you were 15.

Good morning, Scintillating Scimitars.

Scooby-Do's super-skilled scholatic skater school scored scoops of scrumptious Skittles.

Tomfoolery.

And so we come to "F." Of course, some of you probably want to give me a big "F.U." for not putting your favorite band in this poll, but hey, that's what write-ins are for.

My vote goes to Firehouse. Their first two albums are nearly flawless.

Runner-up would be Fear Not. Love the crunch & attitude on that one, especially surprising for a Christian band.

OK, your turn.

WRONG TURN 2 (Unrated)

A totally fun splatterfest with some outrageous gore gags, including a woman split in half, a flayed-open spine, exploding bodies, disembowelments, cannibalism, shotgun wounds, arrows in heads, razor wire slashing, and victims crushed in an industrial garbage grinder. All done with maximum, over-the-top bloodiness. The film is very well-directed, but as you might expect from a straight-to-DVD release, some of the acting could be better. What could not be better, however, is the presence of Henry Rollins playing a badass ex-Marine who goes all Rambo on the cannibals' collective asses.

Good stuff, heartily recommended for horror fans who like guts 'n' gore.

The wife made pierogis a couple of nights ago. Usually I dip 'em in sour cream (with a touch of hot sauce mixed in) but we were outta sour cream. Guess what I used as a substitute?

 

RANCH dressing!!

The way you said "substitute" could lead one to think that you believe Ranch to be something less than sour cream, when clearly Ranch is the superior of the two condiments. Be careful there, my good man; the Ranch Tooth is a jealous diety and will not take lightly to those who put other condiments before him.

Hmmmm, this has got me thinking...you know that unanswerable question they ask in high school science class regarding what would happen if an unstoppable force collided with an immoveable object? Well, what would happen if the Ranch Tooth locked horns with Eric Brittingham? Talk amongst yourselves and get back to me.

Which "E" band do you find the most "E"nticing? As always, write-ins welcome, because God knows in this day & age of rampant political correctness, I wouldn't want anyone feeling discriminated against.

My vote goes to Eyes. That debut album is absolute perfection, a marvel of melodic hard rock.

In case some folks missed it, Endeverafter's debut CD ("Kiss or Kill") was released this week and lemme tell ya, the hype around this band is justified. These guys rock it oldschool style, a total throwback to the heydays of 80s hair metal. I hear some Poison, some Warrant, some Guns 'N Roses, some Heavens Edge, some...well, some of just about every band you loved in the late 80s/early 90s!! Sizzling guitars, hot licks, power-hooks galore, pounding drums, sing-along choruses, guitar solos, suggestive lyrics, gang vocals, ripping rockers, moving ballads...these guys have got it all. The vast majority of the members here should eat this up like Rosie O'Donnell at free wings night at her local sports bar.

Bottom line, this f'ckin' rawks.

Don't care much for either band, but if I had to listen to one of them, I would go with Journey.

Latest acquisition...

Endeverafter: "Kiss or Kill" (fantastic new band!)

28 WEEKS LATER

In my opinion, this is one of those rare sequels that actually tops the original. More action, more gore, faster pace...this is to 28 Days Later what Aliens was to Alien.

Good morning, Robotic Romeos.

Rancid rageaholic rhubarb rustlers righteously rally rueful roosters.

Sextuplets.

Rock: Nigel McBain

Pop: Nate London

Rap: MC - Man

Country: Little John Hill

 

Little John huh?

 

Say it ain't so.

In Australia some people call a toilet the "john". So what this means is that when I whip my member out of my pants and hold it above the "john", the "john" actually appears very little by comparison.

If your member was that big, it wouldn't be hanging above the john, it would be dangling in the water. I am so not impressed.

On topic, here are my names...

Rock: Jake Dylan

Pop: Joey Edmonds

Rap: Ice Freak

Country: Hunter Coltrain

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to change my username to "Ice Freak." It just doesn't get any more gangsta than that.