metalmaniac777

Death Proof - AWFUL AWFUL! Boring. Pointless. Cheap. NO story Line. Waste of time. One of the most boring car chases in movie history. And if I wanted to watch chicks sitting in a pub for an hour swearing....I would've gone to the pub.

I'm a big Tarintino fan, but there's no getting around how bad "Death Proof" is, was, and forever shall be. Mind-crushingly dull. Bringer of boredom beyond comprehension. Honestly, while it was playing in my DVD player, I kept looking at the remote, wondering how I could shove it through my eye socket and into my brain, thus ending my misery. The movie was loaded with what I call diarrhetic dialogue, meaning it just keeps coming and coming but is utterly worthless/pointless. All of Tarintino's films are guilty of this to some degree, but usually his verbal diarrhea is amusing; not so this time around. The only part I found amusing was the first car crash/murder; it was well-filmed and gorily good; watching that chick's face get peeled off by a revving tire made me laugh out loud.

In what I think is unrelated news, my psychiatrist dropped me the next day...

Good Morning Eric Brittingham...

 

I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z

 

You'll never make a monkey out of me.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude, that's some frickin' sweet-ass stuff right there.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a ranch."

Cleetus would be a good name for the sheep too.

People, people, people, get it right--the sheep is named Sheila. However, if Jez has a hard-on (pun intended) to shatter Geoff's sphincter, I suppose I could alter the script to reflect that the sphincter-shattering is actually being done by Jez dressed up in a sheep costume. The new script name could be "Jez Jacks Juicy Geoff" or something alliterative like that.

Me in a sheep costume with a hard on!! Only on Saturday and occasionally on Sunday morning. Want to see the piccies?

Sorry, no need for pics. I'm writing a screenplay, not a pictorial pop-up book.

Cleetus would be a good name for the sheep too. Either way, glad to see we all agreed Roxus is the best 'r' band.

We didn't agree that did we?

That's how I read it. Mark apologised and acknowledged how great they were and we all had tea at Matt's house while discussing plot ideas for Mark's manuscript.

Ah yes, I remember now.

 

Rush > Roxus

Oh, no di'nt.

 

Even Mark prefers Roxus to Rush and he hates Roxus!! (which is why we don't talk anymore)

People, people, people, get it right--the sheep is named Sheila. However, if Jez has a hard-on (pun intended) to shatter Geoff's sphincter, I suppose I could alter the script to reflect that the sphincter-shattering is actually being done by Jez dressed up in a sheep costume. The new script name could be "Jez Jacks Juicy Geoff" or something alliterative like that.

More on topic, I never said I hate Roxus, just that they're bland, generic, and dull. This implies bored disinterest rather than the outright hatred of which I am being accused.

Dead Serious-Simplinteresting (Another awesome Skid Row sounding indie, Brilliant!!!)

Color me intrigued. Unfortunately, typing "Dead Serious Simplinteresting" into Google yields exactly zero results, meaning this will require some true hunting...

Matt, can you tell Mark I'd prefer if it was called 'The deep and sincere tale of love between Geoff and a sheep called Barney'.

OK, I'll work with you a little on the title. I just went into my script-writing program and changed the title to "Sheila the Shaggy Sheep Shatters Geoff's Sphincter." Now who wouldn't want to star in a film like that?

I knew Mark had let me down again...what about ROXUS??!!

Roxus who?

 

Oh, you mean that overhyped, overrated, generic-as-all-get-out melodic rock band? That Roxus? The hell with them, they don't deserve to be on this list. I would have listed Rascal Flats before listing Roxus.

 

Hope that clears things up for ya.

Goodbye, Mark. This is our last communication.

That's too bad. I'm currently writing a porn script with you in mind for the lead role. Guess I'll have to find someone else...

 

How does this relate to Jez's sheep?

Matt, can you tell Mark I am still interested in his porn script but all negotiations will be done through my agent.

Mark, Geoff is still interested in your porn script but all negotiations will be done through his agent, Jez's sheep.

Matt, tell Geoff I think the script is perfect for him. You can tell just by the title: "Geoff Takes It Up The Poop Chute From Jez's Sheep." Tell me that ain't got a ring to it...

I knew Mark had let me down again...what about ROXUS??!!

Roxus who?

 

Oh, you mean that overhyped, overrated, generic-as-all-get-out melodic rock band? That Roxus? The hell with them, they don't deserve to be on this list. I would have listed Rascal Flats before listing Roxus.

 

Hope that clears things up for ya.

Goodbye, Mark. This is our last communication.

That's too bad. I'm currently writing a porn script with you in mind for the lead role. Guess I'll have to find someone else...

I knew Mark had let me down again...what about ROXUS??!!

Roxus who?

Oh, you mean that overhyped, overrated, generic-as-all-get-out melodic rock band? That Roxus? The hell with them, they don't deserve to be on this list. I would have listed Rascal Flats before listing Roxus.

Hope that clears things up for ya.

Ra-ra-ra!!! We've come to the "R"s! Lots of great choices and lots of goodies got left off, so feel free to write 'em in if you don't see your personal fave listed.

My vote goes to Kane Roberts. His "Saints & Sinners" CD is melodic hard rock perfection, easily in my top ten favorite albums.

So rrrrrrrrrrally 'rrrrrrrrrrrround, boys (and girls), and tell us who gets your motor revvin'.

Latest acquisitions...

 

Trivium: "Ascendency" (decent, but "The Crusade" is better)

I'm not sure if it's true but I read a while back that the singer is gonna go back to the vocal style of that album for their new album. I hope not 'cause I liked his sound on "The Crusade".

That would suck. I much prefer the way he sings on "The Crusade." I also think the songs are better.

Latest acquisitions...

Trivium: "Ascendency" (decent, but "The Crusade" is better)

Soilwork: "Stabbing the Drama" (not their best...)

Soilwork: "Sworn to a Great Divide" (excellent new metal album)

Faber Drive: "Seven Second Surgery" (OK, nothing special)

Latest acquisition...

AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION (Undead & Unrated)--haven't watched this yet, but the horror sites have been raving about it for quite some time. Supposedly it's a wildly gory indie zombie film.

This CD is NOT better than BJ but is miles ahead better than Blue Tears. I am in total disagreement with most...this album is fantastic!

Did you just say that Blonz is better than Blue Tears? Blasphemy! You & I can no longer be friends.

Good stuff!...on occasion I am in the mood for speed metal.

So, uh, would it be safe to say that sometimes you like it fast?

Day of Fire - s/t (Which I almost binned immediately after seeing the message in the booklet from the lead singer)

You are a sad man. I will pray for you.

Seriously...do you know the message I'm speaking of? That was just lethal. I haven't even heard a note off the album yet and it's on shaky ground.

 

BTW, thanks for the CDs mate!

Don't really recall the message, but I do seem to remember something about his testimony, how he turned to Christ and changed his life. Man, I hate it when people do that. He really should have just kept wallowing in his shallow, empty life instead of reaching for something/Someone (real or not) that he believes gives him hope & salvation. If I were you, I'd just toss the CD straight in the trash right now...the guy's got some balls, putting a message like that in his booklet. Fuckin' wanker, he is.

 

(All right, I'm done poking at you with my sarcasm stick. Sorry Day of Fire's message has torqued you off so badly, but let me know how you like the music when you get around to checking it out.)

Do you know the band he was in when he was cool/a sinner?

 

And yeah, I'll let you know what I think when I listen to it... hopefully soon.

 

As for the story... yeah, it was the same ol' sob story about having sex with lots of women and being in a band being an awful way to live a life but he finally found the light and decided to serve God in a completely submissive and loss of self-identity-type way he thinks is required of him... it was just that towards the end of his blurb he sounded like the kind of guy who wouldn't consider urinating without assurance from the Lord that it was something he was allowed to do in his whole hearted and complete devotion to Him.

His former secular band was Full Devil Jacket. Heard them once. Didn't care for them. I like Day of Fire much better. But then again, I don't generally get my dander up because someone talks about giving their life to God in the booklet...

Day of Fire - s/t (Which I almost binned immediately after seeing the message in the booklet from the lead singer)

You are a sad man. I will pray for you.

Seriously...do you know the message I'm speaking of? That was just lethal. I haven't even heard a note off the album yet and it's on shaky ground.

 

BTW, thanks for the CDs mate!

Don't really recall the message, but I do seem to remember something about his testimony, how he turned to Christ and changed his life. Man, I hate it when people do that. He really should have just kept wallowing in his shallow, empty life instead of reaching for something/Someone (real or not) that he believes gives him hope & salvation. If I were you, I'd just toss the CD straight in the trash right now...the guy's got some balls, putting a message like that in his booklet. Fuckin' wanker, he is.

(All right, I'm done poking at you with my sarcasm stick. Sorry Day of Fire's message has torqued you off so badly, but let me know how you like the music when you get around to checking it out.)

Day of Fire - s/t (Which I almost binned immediately after seeing the message in the booklet from the lead singer)

You are a sad man. I will pray for you.

FEAST - bad horror movie all around.

I loved it.

"I'll make him a ranch he can't refuse."

Quick, make your selections so we can get past the "Q"s, easily one of the worst letters to build a poll around, as evidenced by the fact that I couldn't even come up with 20 bands to list.

My vote went to Quiet Riot, perpetrators of cheesy 80s metal that was simply too catchy to be ignored.

So, who do you think is the quintessential "Q" band?

Latest acquisitions...

3:10 to Yuma

Shoot 'Em Up

Bourne Ultimatum

War

Resident Evil: Extinction

Latest acquisitions...

Sevendust: "Animosity"

Tesla: "Psychotic Supper"

Lamb of God: "Ashes of the Wake"

Crystal Ball: "Secrets"

SAW IV (Unrated Director's Cut)

 

I'm a huge fan of the Saw series and while this is good, it's a minor step down from the previous installments. Of course, with Jigsaw dead at the end of SAW III (sorry if I just spoiled it for anyone, but if you haven't seen #3 yet, shame on you) it was almost unavoidable for the latest entry to not measure up. Still, Jigsaw does make appearances (mainly via flashbacks) and the traps, while a little less over-the-top than #3, are still brutally vicious and the gore is plentiful, so a lot of what makes a Saw movie a Saw movie is still present. I know some fans are clamoring for this horror series to end, but I for one am still enjoying the bloody hell (pun intended) out of it and hope they churn out at least a few more.

I know Saw V comes out in time for Halloween...I WILL see that.....

I heard a rumor that the Saw producers claim things will wrap up with Saw VI, that all the various little subplots and loose threads will all be tied up. Maybe it's true, but more than likely the truth is that as long as these movies keep making money, they'll keep churning 'em out. Not that I'm complaining--I've enjoyed all the Saw films. Sure, some are better than others, but that's the nature of a horror franchise.