T-BONE

Pretty Maids - Planet Panic Pink Cream 69 - Sonic Dynamite Pink Cream 69 - Thunderdome Sabre Tiger - Project One Iced Earth - The Glorius Burden

I - Kiss

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like 28 year olds? A: Cause there are 20 of 'em

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly, the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would never have to run again. God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything ok? How have you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life! My pillow is fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, he found out she had a sexy body as well. Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable to perform. Limp as a dish rag! On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine. Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection. Looking down at his penis, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!

One evening John O’Reilly and his toastmasters club were hitting the Guinness and having a contest to see who could come up with the best toast. John O’Reilly hoisted his beer high and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” With that, he was instantly awarded the prize of Toast of the Night. Later that evening, he went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” “Aye,” she said, “and what was your toast?” “Here’s to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife!” he replied. “Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day Mary ran into one of John’s toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “Did you know John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?” “Aye,” she said. “I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!”

Emily Sue passed away and Billy-Bob called 911. The 911 Operator told Billy-Bob that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Billy-Bob replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Billy-Bob said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

A well-dressed man approached a voluptuous, beautiful young woman on the street and said, "Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?" "For a MILLION dollars?!" she replied, more than a little stunned, "Of course I would!" "Well, would you sleep with me for twenty-five dollars?" "Twenty-five dollars? Don't be ridiculous! What kind of girl do you think I am?!" "We've already established what kind of girl you are; now we're just haggling over price."

Nobody's Fool = Cinderella

Scene Of The Crime - Ratt

Please Don't Leave Me - Pretty Maids

Centerfold - J Giels Band

Smoking Can Kill!!! Smoking Can Kill

Fields Of Rape - Saigon Kick

Winners Take All - Quiet Riot

God Gave Rock N Roll To You - Kiss

Queen Of The Ryche - Queensryche

Good Girl Gone Bad - Kiss

Porno Daddy - Freak Kitchen

Dreams Are Not Enough - Keel

H.D.S.O.B. (HarleyDavidSonOfABitch) - Gemini

Man With No Eyes - Michael Monroe

Breathe - Wasp

Lil Jack Horny - Extreme