T-BONE

Don't Touch The Light - Bonfire

Do You Wanna Touch me - Joan Jett

WHAT PORNOS WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE!! It amazes me how some things work into our culture without people getting the joke. If you are addicted to porn, you will believe…. 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. 10 seconds of foreplay is more than satisfactory. 4. Gorgeous women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 5. Sex will always get a women off a speeding ticket. 6. All boobs are real. 7. Asian men don't exist. 8. Hairy pizza men get sex more often than anyone else you know. 9. When your girlfriend catches you with her best friend, she's always open to a threesome. 10. Women never have headaches.

Knowing Me Knowing You - Abba

Do Ya - Frehleys Comet

I just redid the link Rick. Try again

Fun Game Scroll down and download Elf Bowling 2 and 3. They are hilarious! Games

A man writes: I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men &women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman." I am thinking "what was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed dept. store... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes, I said "lets get a pair for each outfit." We went to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this. You should have seen her face when she said "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out "No honey, I don't feel like buying all of this stuff now." You should have seen her face...it went completely blank. I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man." I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.

Bad mental picture

You wear pants?

Best so far was 44 seconds. The game gets faster as time goes on

Go dye your hair brunette and then try the game. It requires fast thinking

I had over 1100 earlier. I kept hitting the landmines just right

T.M.I. Marla! (Too Much Information)

Hahahaha...this is funny! Trunk Monkey Anti Theft Device

Nice Hair

God damn annoying friggin......... Annoying Game

OK...More Pinguin Fun! Smack The Pingu

Electric Angels - NY Times Demos

You have the right to remain silent...anything you say can and will be used against you in a dirty way

You stay AWAY FROM MY DOG YOU SICK TWISTED LITTLE BLONDE!!

You were blowing WHAT in your dream?!?!?!?!?

I do too. I can't wait to hear some sample tracks. I'm sure Andy will post them as soon as he gets them

The Legless Parrot A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that." "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!" The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately." "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot. "Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?" "Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...." "WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!

From Melocicrock.com ADRIANGALE CRUNCH FANS WITH SURPRISE NEW ALBUM: Kivel Records has been quiet recently with one of their acts. Well today they break their silence. Adriangale are back and are ready to crunch some ears in April! Can you believe that? I really didn't see the band making a new record anytime soon, if at all, but I'm happy to be proven wrong. And from what I heard down the phone line, this new album will give the band's debut a run for it's money. Here's what the label had to say about the new album! "Crunch - the new 12 song studio album from Adriangale is set for an April release! AG just completed recording of the album a few weeks ago in NY, while Jamie had time off from his band London Calling. The album is now in the mixing stages. Vic Rivera had this to say: "There were some criticism of the last record that galvanized me to put a little bit more depth into the new songs, both sonically and lyrically. Also, John Kivel had been busting my ass since day one to write "barnburner" type song. So I finally gave him one - and then some!" "As for why we kept things hush hush in the studio - we felt that, If you want to get a person's attention, tapping them on the shoulder just won't do. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer - and then you'll discover that you have their complete attention. So we thought wed just pop up and go SURPRISE...new album here ya go! These are my best riffs ever and they cover a lot of ground, stylistically - but you can still tell it's us. Jamie Rowe delivers his best vocal performance to date on a AG album. As for the guitar slot, AG welcomes Scott Miller to the AG fold. Scott has been a friend of the band's for some time and much in the same way Eddie was the only choice for lead guitarist when we put this whole thing together, it was with little question that Scott was the natural and only consideration to step into that vacated guitar slot. Scott simply slays.... Plus, the guy is almost as rabid about Star Wars as me, so on that count alone from where I stand he was in by default." Kivel Records will be taking Pre-Orders starting March 17th at www.kivelrecords.com