rob62972

Now THATS fucking METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

THATS fucking MEGADETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think there's a snake on the right.

Pretty cool.

TNA blows away WWE.

Geoff will like this one..................

 

from that same book:

 

Pornification

 

For every movie, there exists, at least theoretically, a porno version of that movie. Can you "pornify" the titles below?

 

The Nutty Professor ----------> The Slutty Professor

 

Cold Mountain -----------> Cold Mountin'

 

Malcolm X ------------> Malcolm XXX

 

Space Jam -----------> Face Jam

 

Glory ------------> Glory Hole

 

Big Trouble In Little China ----------> Big Trouble In Little Vagina

 

Pearl Harbor -----------> Pearl Necklace

 

You've Got Mail -----------> You've Got She-Male

 

Gladiator ------------> Glad-He-Ate-Her

 

Dirty Harry ------------> Dirty, Harry

Geoff will like this one..................

from that same book:

Pornification

For every movie, there exists, at least theoretically, a porno version of that movie. Can you "pornify" the titles below?

The Nutty Professor

Cold Mountain

Malcolm X

Space Jam

Glory

Big Trouble In Little China

Pearl Harbor

You've Got Mail

Gladiator

Dirty Harry

I'm reading:

Read It And Wipe: Condensed Comedy For The Can :lol:

by Justin Heimberg & David Gomberg

A Sample:

Dreamer's Dictionary:

Dream Image/What It Means

Violin----------> You're Gay

Ducks----------> You want to have sex with a duck

Milk----------> You want to be back with your mother; need to buy milk

Lorne Michaels----------> You want to be famous

Lorne Green----------> You were thinking of Lorne Michaels

Sarah Jessica Parker----------> You want to have sex with Dee Snider.

On set of 227----------> You are worried about a test

Worried about test----------> You want to be on the set of 227; gay

Sand----------> You want to have sex with sand

Water----------> You just peed yourself

Teapots----------> You are going to die

River----------> You are repressing a memory of being groped by a Radio Shack employee

Wall Of Silence

 

 

Acne Hath Gofer

CHANGE OF HEART

Nudists Nice Ice Deal

Rick Springfield

 

Spotty Egg Fan Ran

 

Tygers of Pan Tang

 

 

 

Heavy Pills Suns

Nashville Pussy

Grand Gear Den

Thanks everyone for the awesome birthday wishes!!

I'm grateful for having a bunch of cool friends like you all!!

Time to drink a few brews and rock the fuck out!!

from melodicrock.com:

GOTTHARD NEED YOU TO BELIEVE:

Gotthard's latest studio opus Need To Believe will be released in Europe via Nuclear Blast on September 4.

The album will feature the following tracks: 01. Shangri-La 4:06 02. Unspoken Words 4:16 03. Need To Believe 3:57 04. Unconditional Faith 3:36 05. I Don't Mind 3:14 06. Break Away 3:59 07. Don't Let Me Down 4:16 08. Right From Wrong 3:42 09. I Know, You Know 5:17 10. Rebel Soul 3:26 11. Tears To Cry 4:21.

Press Release / "It seems that for a number of years, bands solely from the USA or Britain used to write Rock History but that's history now as Switzerland has started writing their own chapter. This special and incomparable combo is even taking a step further – it defines Rock in a new sense! Stronger, heavier and full of deep touching melodies than ever before in that genre. Even well known and successful producers from overseas recognized that auspicious fire of these unique artists burning far away in the Alps and especially one specialist felt infected by Gotthard. We are talking about Canadian producer Rich Chicky (Aerosmith, Rush), who was dying to cooperate with them. Just a few days later he travelled to Tessin to start an intense process of working together with the guys on their new material.

One of the unbeatable recipes for success is definitely Gotthard's constant line up: The original cast still exist: Marc Lynn (bass guitar), Hena Habegger (drums), Leo Leoni (guitar) and extra ordinary singer Steve Lee. Some years ago Freddy Scherer came to strengthen the team with a second guitar player and completed the awesome group in a perfect way with his fascinating personality.

Gotthard embodies like almost no other band pure delight in playing and work on the other hand very professional and aim-oriented. A quality feature which is also going to be badge with their new record release on September 4th called “Need To Believe”. In cooperation with the famous producer Rick Chicky (Aerosmith…) does a musical creation arise, which is able to combine emotional Rock songs with haunting mainstream elements in perfect harmony. An album which convinces with rough, dynamic and hasty attitudes but stands also for experience, maturity and composure. Many of the Tracks you will find on “Need To Believe“ proof hard as bone that Gotthard is an amazing Rock band without any compromises. Songs as the diverse and dazzling Shangri La or the rock hymn Need To Believe demonstrate the all-embracing contribution Gotthard make in the scene. And in addition to that they confess their emotional, touching and adorable side once more, which decorate them from the beginning on.

To chose the album title Need To Believe was a sophisticated and well-known decision, as mastermind Steve Lee explains: "Especially in hard times like this, coined by many crises and problems, you need to believe in something! Just remember the adage; a will is able to move mountains. If you think positive and won't give up, you will win at the end that is for sure! We have always believed in that credo!” To make it short: An album that title reflects the whole content: Gotthard stands for the next Rock generation, who will follow their own way without any influences and trends to enrich and enchant the music world over and over again. But that is not all: In April 2010 Gotthard will celebrate their own first movie soundtrack for “Max Schmeling”. You cannot deny – that's Gotthard! It doesn't matter whether musically or geographically – Gotthard is the biggest and mightiest embodiment of Switzerland!!! Don't miss it!"

WebLink: www.gotthard.com.

This is a band that never did much for me. I have to agree with Jez here.

"The 8th Sin" is an incredible album.

I just heard this and 'Grand Illusion' for the first time tonight - VERY impressed. Really liked them both.

wow.... you're just now hearing these guys??

I'll hook you up with "Afterlife", "Shadowland", and "New World Messiah". If you dug those last two discs, you should dig the rest of their catalog with Johnny.

Olli sounds better singing for these guys than in Crashdiet IMO.

Steel Panther - "Girl From Oklahoma"

"spit out that retainer and do me right"

"I know it tastes infected but I think it's alright"

Would love to hear the cover of 'Take my heart and run' too.

Yeah... this is the track that I'd definitely love to hear. I'm a huge Bonfire fan!

Don't fuckin stop...believing

I did a long time ago. Fuck believing.

 

lol.

Believing is for the fucking believers....

I don't fucking believe it!

I fucking believe that people who fucking believe are fucking believers who fucking believe in fucking believing. Got it? FUCK!!

Here ya go Wes.... I found this:

http://www.seaoftranquility.org/reviews.ph...ent&id=7881

Shortino: Chasing My Dream

Veteran US vocalist Paul Shortino returns with latest album Chasing My Dream, released via Metal Heaven at the end of June. Shortino started out with Rough Cutt who made their mark in the mid-80's with Wants You, an album that saw them touring arenas globally in support of Dio, before seizing the opportunity to replace Kevin DuBrow in Quiet Riot for one self-titled release. Since this time Shortino has largely worked under his own name and Chasing My Dream is produced by Michael Voss (Casanova, MSG, Bonfire) who also contributes guitars.

The bottom line here is an album of generic melodic hard rock which deviates throughout between some harder edged numbers ('Nocturnal') and softer ballads ('Missing', 'Promises'). Each song is very much a showcase for Shortino's characteristic vocal and this is very much a vocalists album with the musical contributions being solid yet unspectacular. Shortino's delivery is Coverdale-esque blues and seems better suited to the slower numbers, the haunting acoustic led ballad 'Missing' and the mid-tempo 'Remember You' being the two genuine highlights. Elsewhere, what the material is really lacking is strong and memorable choruses that are pretty much a pre-requisite for this genre and if it wasn't for Shortino's soulful vocal the likes of 'Alone They Ride' and 'Great Dreamer' would be largely forgettable. The lightweight 'Take my Heart and Run' is a cover of an old Bonfire song and had this structure been used as the blueprint for the rest of the material it might have yielded better results.

Track Listing

1.Remember You

2.To The Cross

3.Prelude Missing

4.Missing

5.Nocturnal

6.Side FX

7.Alone They Ride

8.Chasing Your Dream

9.Great Dreamer

10.Take My Heart And Run

11.Promises

12.Plan Of Attack

Added: June 7th 2009

Reviewer: Dean Pedley

Score:

Related Link: Artist Website

Hits: 128

Language: english

Musically this is excellent, but I think the Joke will wear very thin, very quickly. I was even predicting the next line to some of the songs before hand.

Now owning this I can say that I agree with you 110%.

 

It's a shame because the music just fucking smokes! But listening to it for the second time today, I was actually glad when the CD was over and my player switched to the next disc (which happened to be the new Primal Fear ).

 

Anywho, I guess it depends what your tastes are and usually I'm not big into lyrics, but these were kind of funny once and then got really stale, really quick. As Jez said, just a bit too predictable.

 

 

It'd bee nice if these guys would record an album with non goofy lyrics under a different band name.

 

Exactly what I was thinking when I first heard the album. They are getting lots of attention at the moment and are being called everything from a Joke, a Parody, a Comedy HM band, you name it. A Fair few people will get bored of the lyrics pretty quickly I reckon, and I think they would be so much better and have much longer lasting appeal if they really toned it down next time - alot more people will appreciate them and they will last alot longer, although obviously this will go against what they are trying to do I suppose. At the moment - 2 albums tops in my opinion.

Sorry guys, I know I said it above but I just so, 200% + disagree with you guys here. It is honestly not in my mind capacity to understand why these lyrics should/would have less longevity than any other lyrics.

 

For example, what's a song we all love? Let's say, for the sake of this argument we all dig 'Fighter' by Kane Roberts. Just a completely random selection, but pick any song in the world and I'll argue this case. What is it about the lyrics in 'Fighter' by Kane Roberts that makes that song timeless and a song like 'Fat Girl', 'Asian Hooker' or 'Community property' not? Just because the lyrics are funny? Why don't we get sick of Johnny's story about being a fighter and giving it all you got and never giving up? To me that's a lot more tiring lyrically, but it's a stunning song and I'll love it to the day I die. 'Cause I just like good songs. And good songs aren't just good temporarily. We've alll admitted this album kicks absolute f*cking ass, so why won't it next year or ten years from now??? Sounds like pop music mentality to me.

 

Sorry guys, I just don't get it. Fate wrote funny songs - love them as much as the day I first heard them.

 

To each their own, but to me every CD I am hearing at the moment is paling in comparison to this and I am always hungry to put it back in my CD player. I have NO issue whatsoever with the lyrics and I, for one it seems, would be disappointed if they toned it down for future releases.

 

I just don't understand why they have to sound like everyone else to have longevity...

I have to agree with Geoff here!

I quite honestly love the f*ck out of this disc and I don't think I'll get tired of it or the silly lyrics. It is what it is..... a masterpiece!!

If you look at the link you'll see a photo, if you scroll down, of the tattoo artist himself...F**K ME he's scary/ugly looking. I'd steer clear from anyone who had a face like his. YIKES!!!

I just added the update. Holy crap is that guy a beast.

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/9062/...ttooed-on-face/

GIRL HAS 56 STARS TATTOOED ON FACE

Posted on Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

By Allie Pruitt

BRUSSELS – A Belgian teenager is suing a tattoo artist after she allegedly asked for 3 stars on her face, and instead received 56!

Eighteen-year-old Kimberley Vlaminck went to a local parlor called The Tattoo Box, and was given to Romanian tattoo artist Rouslan Toumaniantz. Vlaminck claims that she only asked for three stars to be tattooed on her face. She has stated that he only spoke broken English and French but tried to be clear as possible about what she wanted.

Vlaminck says she then fell asleep during the procedure and awoke to instead find 56 stars across the left side of her face! She is now suing him for $14,000, the cost of the laser surgery she will need to remove the tattoos.

However, Toumaniantz is fighting back, saying that he gave her exactly what she wanted. “She was awake and looked into the mirror several times as the procedure was taking place. The trouble all started when she went home and her father and boyfriend threw a fit.”

Her story does raise a number of questions. Why did she pay and leave the tattoo parlour without complaining? Why was it not a problem until she arrived at home?

And most confusingly, who is capable of falling asleep while a very tender part of their body is being tattooed?

UPDATE: Toumaniantz, seen here:

has agreed to pay for half of her laser surgery. While he still stands behind his story, he said, “Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client. There is a way to remove the tattoos with the help of a laser. I accept to pay for half the cost.”

This disc has definitely made my Top 5 for 2009.

Blind In Texas

Man.... this is one kickass disc!!

I mean, this has everything you want in an album.

10/10

Hey gang...long time no see, haven't been on here in a while!

 

Yep - it's definitely going to be Justin's best L&J release. He has really gone out of his way to assemble some top notch talent for this CD and that is reflected in all of the songs and performances!

 

As correctly pointed out, I didn't produce the entire album, just the songs I co-wrote and wrote...the Harry and Pete song ("Beautiful Decision") was one of them. After Justin asked me to write the music around his lyrics, I wrote and tracked the song with the Scarem guys in mind. The cool thing about it was that when he heard it, he asked if I had any preferences for the singer/guitar soloist combo for the song, and I said yup, Harry and Pete. Next day Justin calls me to say "You've got your wish"!

 

I was pretty stoked, to say the least. Given that I know the fellas already, getting it together with them was simple, easy and fun, and I think it's reflected in all of our performances.

 

Trust me whan I say this is just the tip of the iceberg for the quality of this record - again, MAJOR props to Justin for pulling this one together and thinking enough of me to make me such a big part of it....he is a good guy and I am honored.

 

Hope you are all well, and I'll try not to be so long in between appearances on here!!

 

Oh yeah, by the way, if you can find it (LOL - no joke!)....hope y'all like the Poley/Rivera CD!

 

Best regards,

 

Vic Rivera

Awesome to have you hear posting Vic!!

Love all of your previous work and especially the Poley/Rivera disc!!

I'll definitely have to check out the new L&J disc.

Rock on!!