Fat Freddy

I use a two-category system:

1. Stuff that sucks

2. Stuff that doesn't suck

First Goodwill Store scores of 2018:

Steve Vai - Passion & Warfare

Various - The British Invasion: The History of British Rock, Vol. I

Cheap Trick - Lap of Luxury

Aerosmith - Nine Lives

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hmm Contamination looks interesting.....

As far as cheap, poorly dubbed Italian "Alien" knock offs go (there are several others) it's actually one of the better ones

"Contamination" (aka "Alien Contamination," 1980)

A ship drifts into New York harbor with no one left alive on board - and a cargo of extra-terrestrial eggs full of goo that makes people's bodies explode. A government investigative team traces the ship's trail to South America, where an alien life form has taken over a coffee plantation (?) for use as its home base to colonize our planet. Yikes!
Luigi "StarCrash" Cozzi directed this earth-bound Italian "Alien" variant, which doesn't even try to hide the fact that it's a rip-off... but it's fun, comic book nonsense with lotsa cool gory special effects. Worth a look if you need a Euro-trash horror fix.

"To All a Goodnight" (1980)

A group of private-school girls (and their boyfriends) staying behind in the dorm during Christmas break are picked off by a killer in a Santa suit.  This cheap but effective knock-off of "Black Christmas" and "Friday the 13th" pre-dates the notorious "Silent Night, Deadly Night" by a couple of years but isn't nearly as well known. It gets off to a rip roarin' start and piles up a bunch of bodies early on, but the midsection is a slow slog until the killer's I.D. (which most viewers will have figured out way before the characters do) is revealed in the last quarter. Directed by David Hess of "Last House on the Left" fame, this is far from a top drawer slasher but it was sleazy and entertaining enough for me.

"Graveyard Disturbance" (1987)

Lamberto "Demons" Bava directed this made-for-Italian-cable turkey about five teens who take a creepy old innkeeper up on his dare to spend the night in some catacombs beneath the cemetery, with the promise of a "treasure" if they can make it till dawn. The gang encounters a variety of vampires, zombies, and other creepy crawlies, but nothing really happens. There's no gore, no violence, just a lot of walking around in circles, screaming, and running. There are some nice makeup FX and set designs but otherwise this flick was dumb as dirt and twice as dull. AVOID.

"Paganini Horror" (1989)

A struggling all-girl rock band discovers an unpublished piece by the Italian composer Paganini - aka "The Devil's Violinist," who supposedly sold his soul in return for his talent - and records it. While shooting a music video for the track at Paganini's former home, it awakens the spirit of the demonic musician, who doesn't take kindly to copycats taking credit for his work. Murder and mayhem ensues.

This entertainingly cheesy slice of Italian rock-horror schlock (directed by Luigi "Starcrash" Cozzi) has a couple of pretty girls in it and features some decent gore but everything else (acting, dialogue, etc) is totally Z-grade. Good for a few laughs but not much else. 

New song sounds good - of course I'll buy it, it's Judas Frickin Priest for crying out loud - but I hope it has more staying power than Redeemer of Souls. I couldn't even tell ya the last time I listened to that one. 

BTW I'm still amazed at how much Richie Faulkner looks like KK Downing's Mini-Me.  I swear, before KK left the band they must've swabbed some of his DNA off a guitar and used it to grow Richie in a lab.  

It was my 10 year old son's turn to pick a movie, so this is what we got...

"Expelled" (2014)

After breaking the rules one too many times, a teenage prankster finds himself kicked out of school. If his parents find out, he'll be packed off to a military academy...so he embarks on a series of crazy schemes aimed at weaseling his way back into school before Mom and Dad discover what's happened. Lots of wacky hi-jinks borrowed heavily from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ensue.

If your kids have never seen "Ferris," they might get a kick out of this preteen-friendly comedy...but I felt like I was watching a cheap remake. Also, the kid in the lead role (who is apparently a YouTube star of some kind) was such a smug prick that I was wishing someone would punch him in the throat after about ten minutes. :lmao: 

In other words... if you don't have kids, there's no need to bother with this one.

These two finally arrived from Amazon -- I got an email on the day they were supposed to arrive, which was Wed. of this past week, telling me there would be a "delay in shipping due to an error." At least I had their Auto-Rip MP3s to tide me over while I waited, but still, sheeeesh!

Babylon A.D. - Revelation Highway
Warrior Soul - Back on the Lash

"Our Man in Casablanca" (aka "The Killer Lacks a Name," 1966)

Euro-spy fun starring American bit player Lang Jeffries as a U.S. agent tangling with femme fatales and a bad guy with an electrified metal hand (!) over some stolen documents.
As usual with these cheap 007 knockoffs, the story is a muddle but the exotic Moroccan scenery is lovely and so is the female eye candy. 

Fear Not - self titled +2 (2017 reissue on Roxx Records)

"Sharknado 5: Global Swarming" (2017)

Fin, April, Nova and the gang are back (again) to save the world from yet another series of catastrophic Sharknado outbreaks which threaten the entire planet. 
SyFy/Asylum's signature franchise keeps getting bigger, louder, and dumber with each new installment. By this point you might as well just forget about minor details like a coherent story or decent performances. Just turn your brain off and chuckle at the cheap CGI mayhem, the nods to other/better movies, and the endless cameos by D-list celebrities lining up to get munched (including Fabio, Samantha Fox, Clay Aiken, Gilbert Gottfried, Kathie Lee Gifford, and many more). 

On 1/2/2018 at 11:43 AM, KarpetRydOFunk said:

 

So, wait, the fans of Bride are just as unreliable as Bride?

:mindblown:

(sad trombone noise)

I got an Amazon gift card for Xmas so I used to to order Revelation Highway... thanks to their Auto-Rip thingy I got MP3s to tide me over till the CD arrives in the mail. 

Long story short... me likee, though it took a few spins before it started to click... I wish there were a few more raunchy/heavy songs like the opener "Crash & Burn," and I wonder why they had to re-tread four old songs that were already released on "In The Beginning" (all that time on hiatus, and they still couldn't come up with a full albums' worth of fresh material?) but otherwise I dug it. Derek still sounds great, dude's got pipes. 

Reviewed it in depth at my blog if anybody gives a crap:  

https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Babylon-AD-Revelation-Highway-2017-album-review

First entry of the new year: my review of Babylon A.D.'s new one. 

https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Babylon-AD-Revelation-Highway-2017-album-review

"The Brain" (1988)

A mad scientist and an alien brain-creature have taken over the minds of everyone in a small town through specially doctored TV signals, and they're about to take it nationwide unless a local juvenile delinquent and his girlfriend can stop 'em. 
This awesomely cheesy '80s video-store fave steals a little bit of "The Blob," a little from "Videodrome," and a lot from "They Live." The title creature is one of the most ridiculous rubber monsters I've seen in ages - it looks like a giant piece of poop covered in K-Y Jelly. Hilariously bad!

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" (1988)

In a 1940s Hollywood where humans and cartoon characters exist side by side, a down on his luck private detective helps a rabbit avoid a murder rap. Featuring cameos by just about every famous cartoon character from the Disney and Warner Brothers stables and many more.
Robert "Back To The Future" Zemeckis' landmark fantasy flick still manages to amaze after all these years. I've lost count of how many times I've seen this one but I never get tired of it.

Finished out my 2017 movie slate with this primo slab of glorious VHS trash:

"Terror In Beverly Hills" (1989)

Arab terrorists kidnap the President's daughter, and only one man can save her - martial artist/former Marine/all around bad-ass Hack Stone, played by Frank Stallone, Sly's younger lookalike brother. Yup, that's the entire plot. 
This dollar-store wonder features wooden performances, cardboard sets, a mushy sound mix and general ineptitude from beginning to end. You'll laugh, you'll cheer, you'll cry tears of Z-Movie joy. 

New tune sounds badass. Bring it on!

7 hours ago, Darkstone said:

It's not a real movie. It's a fake trailer made by Rob Zombie for the Rodriguez/Tarantino "Grindhouse" double feature. I thought you would have known that Freddy.

Ahh, dammit they got me, haha! 

I wasn't big on the "Grindhouse" two-fer, honestly. I didn't see it as a combo/double-feature in a theater, just as separate features when they released 'em on  DVD later on, so I never saw any of the fake trailers.

Seriously tho, considering some of the crap Nic Cage has appeared in over the past decade, it looked legit enough to me.   

"Bright" (2017)

Will Smith stars in this strange, Netflix-original mashup of the "buddy cop" action and fantasy genres, set in a modern day Los Angeles where humans live alongside Orcs, elves, and other fairy-tale creatures. Smith's a burnt-out L.A.P.D. cop saddled with the first-ever Orc police officer as his new partner, and together the mismatched pair try to keep a powerful source of magic out of the hands of a vicious street gang as well as an evil creature who needs it to take over the world. 
Reviews of this flick have been pretty brutal but I mostly enjoyed "Bright." It reminded me a lot of the '80s favorite "Alien Nation," and Smith is always fun to watch even if the movie isn't very good. It runs on a bit too long but lotsa stuff gets shot and blown up along the way so at least I wasn't bored. 

On 12/27/2017 at 2:24 AM, CureTheSane said:

Was looking for Women (Extended) - Def Leppard for the Killer Intros thread and this movie trailed popped up.
Haven't seen it, but I watched the trailer and it's kinda sad to see Nic Cage in it lol

 

Nicolas Cage will appear in just about any piece of shit that's thrown his way nowadays. .. he must owe a lotta people a lotta money

Got an Amazon gift card for Xmas so I ordered these. Thanx to the "AutoRip" thingy I can listen to MP3's of both while I wait for the discs to arrive.  Neat-o.

Warrior Soul - Back on the Lash
Babylon A.D. - Revolution Highway

"The Hebrew Hammer" (2003)
Adam Goldberg is Mordechai Jefferson Carver, aka "The Hebrew Hammer" - a pimped-out, bad-ass Orthodox protector of all things Jewish, who's called into action when Santa's evil son (Andy Dick at his coked-out best) takes over operations at the North Pole and plans to wipe Hanukkah off the calendar. 

This very funny holiday themed blaxploitation/action parody ala "Undercover Brother" or the "Austin Powers" flicks skewers pretty much every ethnic and racial stereotype you can think of.  

I guarantee, this is the only movie you'll ever see where the hero walks into a skinhead bar, pulls out two giant guns and says "SHABBAT SHALOM, MOTHERF***ERS!"