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Fat Freddy

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  1. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    Stephen King double shot:


    "Christine" (1983)


    High school nerd Arnie Cunningham buys a hunk-o-junk 1958 Plymouth Fury with a dark past, and while he restores the car to its former glory, his friends notice some sinister changes in their buddy. One of the better King adaptations, directed by John "Halloween" Carpenter.


    "The Mangler" (1995)


    An industrial laundry in a small Maine town is home to a gargantuan steam-ironing machine with a taste for human blood. Sounds like good gory fun, but Tobe ("Texas Chainsaw Massacre") Hooper's take on one of SK's lesser short stories is cheap, poorly acted, and quickly falls apart under the weight of its own ludicrous premise. Even the usually dependable Robert Englund (virtually unrecognizable here under a shit-ton of makeup and prosthetics) can't save this one from total crap-dom. Followed by two (!) sequels for some ungodly reason.

  2. My Stuff on HubPages.com

    in Shout it to the World!

    Posted

    Dang, my first new entry in more than a month!


    Before he was "Ripper," Tim Owens was just the singer in Winters Bane....

    13655032_f520.jpg




    I have several more "Forgotten Hard Rock Albums" reviews in various states of completion at the moment so now that I've finished this one, hopefully it will inspire me to find time to push out the rest. :D

  3. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

     

     

    "The Conjuring 2" (2016)

     

    Sequel to the 2013 hit sends real-life ghost busters Ed and Lorraine Warren to London, where a single Mom and her family are experiencing a haunting that may have roots in one of the Warrens' most famous cases.

    Not quite as spooky as the original but still a satisfying creep show.

     

    Isn't this film a direct lift of 'The Enfield Haunting'?

     

    After reading the Wiki page for that series, it sure sounds like it.

  4. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "The Conjuring 2" (2016)



    Sequel to the 2013 hit sends real-life ghost busters Ed and Lorraine Warren to London, where a single Mom and her family are experiencing a haunting that may have roots in one of the Warrens' most famous cases.

    Not quite as spooky as the original but still a satisfying creep show.

  5. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "Never Too Young To Die" (1986)



    Good Lord! How have I NEVER seen this trash classic before today?? I should've been all over this movie ages ago on the strength of the casting alone. This ultra-bizarre movie mashes up James Bond spy hijinks, adds some "Rocky Horror" drag show elements and "Road Warrior" ultra-violence and the result may be the most "Eighties" movie EVER!


    A secret agent (one-shot 007 George Lazenby) is killed in action, so "the company" drafts his estranged high-school gymnast son (John Stamos) to help Dad's former partner (Prince protege' Vanity) stop a hermaphrodite terrorist (Gene Simmons!) who wants to poison California's water supply with radioactive waste...for some reason. Lots of butts get kicked, stuff blows up frequently, Simmons overacts painfully, and Vanity takes her clothes off, all set to an oh-so-80s synth-heavy soundtrack


    Anyone who sez "Howard The Duck" was the worst movie of 1986 has obviously never seen "Never Too Young To Die!"

  7. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "The Visit" (2015)

     

    Two teens spend a week at the home of their estranged grandparents, and slowly begin to realize that there's something odd about the old folks...

     

    M. Night Shyamalan's "comeback" film starts off on the slow side (and the younger brother is one of the most irritating movie kids I've seen in ages), but once the trademark M. Night "twist" kicks in, everything suddenly snaps into place and it turns into a pretty decent thriller. Better than I expected.

  8. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "Chopping Mall" (aka "Killbots," 1986)


    A gang of teenage mall employees want to have an overnight drunk-n-horny party after the stores close, but their bash is rudely interrupted by the mall's three hi-tech security robots, who turn homicidal after lightning shorts out their central computer.

    It doesn't get much more "'80s" than that premise, folks! Jim Wynorski's sci-fi/horror/T&A cult classic is a dumb, fun time capsule that will bring back memories of leg warmers, VHS cassettes and "USA's Up All Night."

  9. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "The Second Best Secret Agent In The Whole Wide World" (aka "Licensed To Kill," 1965)



    First in a series of three cheaply made James Bond knockoffs starring Tom Adams as suave British agent Charles Vine, who protects a scientist and his plans for an anti-gravity device from a variety of enemy agents, double crossers and femme fatales. I've seen better Eurospy flicks but I've seen lots worse too.

  11. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    Family Double Feature Night:


    "Garfield: The Movie" (2004)


    The comic strip cat makes his live action film debut (in weirdly CGI-animated form), voiced by Bill Murray, no less, in this disappointing kid flick. When Garfield's canine pal Odie is kidnapped, the big G must brave the big city to rescue him from life as a circus dog. By the midway point I was thanking God that Jennifer Love Hewitt was in this movie, because her short skirts were the only thing making it watchable.


    And speaking of unwatchable.. we followed that up with:


    "Independence Day: Resurgence" (2016)


    Years-too-late sequel to the 1996 hit brings back some old faces (Jeff Goldblum, Brent Spiner, Bill Pullman) and introduces a bunch of new ones when those nasty ol' aliens return in an even bigger and badder mothership to try and wipe out what's left of the human race. The fancy special FX are nice to look at for a while but it all gets old pretty quick. Let's be honest, the original "ID4" was no great shakes either but compared to "Resurgence" it was practically the Royal Shakespeare Company. Will Smith was smart to sit this one out...

  13. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children (2016)

     

    Following a series of clues left behind by his late grandfather, a teen travels to Wales, discovers a secret school on a hidden island for kids with strange abilities, and helps them battle some monstrous villains.

     

    An elaborate fantasy flick (based on a young-adult novel series) thats kinda like a steampunk mash up of Harry Potter and X-Men. I enjoyed it but my son, whod just finished the book for his summer reading program, nit-picked endlessly about all the stuff the movie did differently, so your mileage may vary.

  14. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "It Follows" (2015)


    After a one-night stand, a teenage girl is pursued relentlessly by a mysterious, murderous spirit. Is there such a thing as an "STG" (sexually transmitted ghost)?

    I remember this movie got a lot of rave reviews when it came out but I thought it was meh. The concept is interesting but aside from a couple of creepy bits it mostly goes around in circles.

  19. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary" (2017)


    Cool behind-the-scenes doc about the making of the '89 flick based on Stephen King's novel. Lots of interesting stories are told by cast & crew members and fans, tho King himself is noticeably absent. I've seen the movie lots of times over the years and thought I knew everything about it, but I came away with a few new tidbits of trivia.


    "Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter" (1984)


    In the fourth, though obviously far from "final," F13 flick, Jason escapes from the morgue and heads back to Crystal Lake, where he proceeds to start carving up yet another cabin full of horny/stupid teenyboppers. However, The Big Jay may have met his match in the form of Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman!) - a local pre-teen who's handy with monster makeup and also possesses mad skills with a machete. In other words... more of the usual enjoyably gory nonsense.

  20. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "The Chilling" (1989)

     

    A cryogenics facility becomes Ground Zero for a zombie outbreak when a storm knocks out the power and its frozen occupants thaw out. Thankfully a lab assistant (Linda Blair) and a night watchman (Dan "Grizzly Adams" Haggerty) are ready to battle the walking Popsicles. Cheap nonsense that's good for a few laughs, depending on your tolerance for B-movie pain.

  21. Last movie you watched?

    in Exquisite Entropy

    Posted

    "Witchery" (aka "Witchcraft," aka "La Casa 4," aka "Evil Encounters," aka "Ghosthouse 2" - 1988)


    A group of prospective buyers (including Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff!) visit an abandoned resort hotel on a remote island off the coast of New England. When a storm traps them there overnight, they soon learn that the hotel is inhabited by a ghostly presence that has nefarious plans for each of them.

    This is some seriously crap-tacular Italian-made schlock with some good gore bits, but that's about all it's got going for it.

    Avoid!



    "Spider-Man Strikes Back" (1978)



    Peter Parker meets a hot lady reporter who wants his help in finding and un-masking Spidey. Meanwhile, a terrorist has stolen a nuclear weapon and will use it to kill the President of the U.S. unless he's given a billion dollars in gold. Yikes!! Can Spider-Man stop the bad guys without exposing his secret identity to the world?

    This flick was edited together from two episodes of the cheesy late 70s "Spider-Man" TV series (though it was released as a feature film overseas and on video), starring Nicholas Hammond as the web-head. It's terrible, but worth watching just to groove on the funky disco soundtrack, and laugh at the hilarious fashions and ultra-cheap special effects.

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