EVIL HOT

[Jacob M.]

That is one long running joke. I guess that's what I get for trying to help people get free hot sauce. Maybe if I found an offer for free beer they might actually deliver.

[Fat Freddy]

OK, so I guess the "Where's My Free Hot Sauce?" joke has finally run its course... however, I love hot sauce (and this thread) too much to let it die, so here's some interesting hot sauce reading for ya... I joined a group on Facebook for fans of "Dave's Insanity Sauce" (the dangerously thermonuclear-strength hot sauce mentioned earlier in this thread I believe), and one of the topics on their discussion board was "Best Practical Jokes Involving Dave's Insanity Sauce." There were quite a few great stories, but these were my top three favorites:

 

This one is good:

"Last year there was a food thief at large at my workplace. Random peoples’ lunches would vanish without trace... bite marks would appear in pies and pizzas; tempers were getting short and something had to be done. A small select committee was organised to deal with the 'perp' and put an end to this food abuse.

In a darkened basement one Friday evening it was decided that 'Daves Ultimate Insanity Sauce' would be brought in to attend to the situation. A pizza was baked, but instead of tomato puree on the base,what can only be described as 'Experimental' proportions of the sauce was used. The beautifully looking freshly baked pizza was placed on a desk at random in reception. Within an hour, a huge bitemark had appeared... the game was on...

Moments later a member of staff was found slumped over the water cooler in the kitchen, tears running down his face, glowing red, palpitating and sweating profusely. Spouting random giberish for several minutes he eventually regained the power of speech, though his sight had yet to return. Then came the digestive process... the stench was a crime against humanity. Burying your head in a steaming pile of horse shite couldn't even come close to this abomination. I don't think the toilet bowl has been the same ever since.

No food has since disappeared."

 

This one is even better:

"I squirted a pre-mixed syringe of Dave and Nescafe into a Technology teacher's coffee when I was at school.

He was a bit of a jumpy feller, and didn't just assume that it was a prank by some students that thought he was a bit of a twat, no. He thought someone was trying to kill him.

So he went to the local hospital, got his stomach pumped; then rampaged around school picking up innocent kids and dragging them into interrogation, until it leaked it was me - aided by my tech class.

He was sent home by the headmaster before he could cave my skull in, but on his way called the police and slapped an assualt charge on me.

Thankfully, he had 'cooled down' a bit the next day and dropped the charges, so I didn't get expelled and took my exams, but since then I am firmly an ex-Dave abuser."

 

This one is the winner!

"For lack of a better word, we had crack whores in our neighborhood that liked to have sex on the bench that was attached to our porch. we would come out in the morning and find used condoms and empty crack baggies strewn about. i went to peppers of key west (a store that only sells hot sauce) and bought the most intense daves sauce. we filled a spray bottle with it. we covered the bench with a tightly stretched layer of plastic wrap so you couldnt see it, then we covered it with a light mist of the sauce. that night we heard the worst gut-wrenching scream as the sauce got all over the offenders nekkid naughty parts. it took a few days of repeat dousings to get rid of them, but i'm happy to say we are now crack-whore free!!!!"

 

[Stefan]

One of our new advertising accounts here at work is a sauce company called "Evil Hot." They make it right here in New Jersey and the guy gave the account rep a couple of small sample jars to take back to the office. I'm dippin' my potato chips in the Habanero Hot Sauce right now and man, if you like spicy sauces, this stuff is pretty kick ass! Nice flavor and just the right amount of burn. Check'em out at www.evilhot.com

 

Is this SPAM SPAMITY-SPAM?

[Fat Freddy]

One of our new advertising accounts here at work is a sauce company called "Evil Hot." They make it right here in New Jersey and the guy gave the account rep a couple of small sample jars to take back to the office. I'm dippin' my potato chips in the Habanero Hot Sauce right now and man, if you like spicy sauces, this stuff is pretty kick ass! Nice flavor and just the right amount of burn. Check'em out at www.evilhot.com

 

Is this SPAM SPAMITY-SPAM?

 

You wound me, sir.

[Stefan]

One of our new advertising accounts here at work is a sauce company called "Evil Hot." They make it right here in New Jersey and the guy gave the account rep a couple of small sample jars to take back to the office. I'm dippin' my potato chips in the Habanero Hot Sauce right now and man, if you like spicy sauces, this stuff is pretty kick ass! Nice flavor and just the right amount of burn. Check'em out at www.evilhot.com

 

Is this SPAM SPAMITY-SPAM?

 

You wound me, sir.

 

Well it looks like SPAM, it smells like SPAM and it tastes like SPAM. But you're right, maybe it ain't SPAM....

Sorry, my mistake....

[aMetalhead1966]

OK, so I guess the "Where's My Free Hot Sauce?" joke has finally run its course... however, I love hot sauce (and this thread) too much to let it die, so here's some interesting hot sauce reading for ya... I joined a group on Facebook for fans of "Dave's Insanity Sauce" (the dangerously thermonuclear-strength hot sauce mentioned earlier in this thread I believe), and one of the topics on their discussion board was "Best Practical Jokes Involving Dave's Insanity Sauce." There were quite a few great stories, but these were my top three favorites:

 

This one is good:

"Last year there was a food thief at large at my workplace. Random peoples’ lunches would vanish without trace... bite marks would appear in pies and pizzas; tempers were getting short and something had to be done. A small select committee was organised to deal with the 'perp' and put an end to this food abuse.

In a darkened basement one Friday evening it was decided that 'Daves Ultimate Insanity Sauce' would be brought in to attend to the situation. A pizza was baked, but instead of tomato puree on the base,what can only be described as 'Experimental' proportions of the sauce was used. The beautifully looking freshly baked pizza was placed on a desk at random in reception. Within an hour, a huge bitemark had appeared... the game was on...

Moments later a member of staff was found slumped over the water cooler in the kitchen, tears running down his face, glowing red, palpitating and sweating profusely. Spouting random giberish for several minutes he eventually regained the power of speech, though his sight had yet to return. Then came the digestive process... the stench was a crime against humanity. Burying your head in a steaming pile of horse shite couldn't even come close to this abomination. I don't think the toilet bowl has been the same ever since.

No food has since disappeared."

 

This one is even better:

"I squirted a pre-mixed syringe of Dave and Nescafe into a Technology teacher's coffee when I was at school.

He was a bit of a jumpy feller, and didn't just assume that it was a prank by some students that thought he was a bit of a twat, no. He thought someone was trying to kill him.

So he went to the local hospital, got his stomach pumped; then rampaged around school picking up innocent kids and dragging them into interrogation, until it leaked it was me - aided by my tech class.

He was sent home by the headmaster before he could cave my skull in, but on his way called the police and slapped an assualt charge on me.

Thankfully, he had 'cooled down' a bit the next day and dropped the charges, so I didn't get expelled and took my exams, but since then I am firmly an ex-Dave abuser."

 

This one is the winner!

"For lack of a better word, we had crack whores in our neighborhood that liked to have sex on the bench that was attached to our porch. we would come out in the morning and find used condoms and empty crack baggies strewn about. i went to peppers of key west (a store that only sells hot sauce) and bought the most intense daves sauce. we filled a spray bottle with it. we covered the bench with a tightly stretched layer of plastic wrap so you couldnt see it, then we covered it with a light mist of the sauce. that night we heard the worst gut-wrenching scream as the sauce got all over the offenders nekkid naughty parts. it took a few days of repeat dousings to get rid of them, but i'm happy to say we are now crack-whore free!!!!"

 

Those are great...

[Evil Rick]

OK, so I guess the "Where's My Free Hot Sauce?" joke has finally run its course... however, I love hot sauce (and this thread) too much to let it die, so here's some interesting hot sauce reading for ya... I joined a group on Facebook for fans of "Dave's Insanity Sauce" (the dangerously thermonuclear-strength hot sauce mentioned earlier in this thread I believe), and one of the topics on their discussion board was "Best Practical Jokes Involving Dave's Insanity Sauce." There were quite a few great stories, but these were my top three favorites:

 

This one is good:

"Last year there was a food thief at large at my workplace. Random peoples’ lunches would vanish without trace... bite marks would appear in pies and pizzas; tempers were getting short and something had to be done. A small select committee was organised to deal with the 'perp' and put an end to this food abuse.

In a darkened basement one Friday evening it was decided that 'Daves Ultimate Insanity Sauce' would be brought in to attend to the situation. A pizza was baked, but instead of tomato puree on the base,what can only be described as 'Experimental' proportions of the sauce was used. The beautifully looking freshly baked pizza was placed on a desk at random in reception. Within an hour, a huge bitemark had appeared... the game was on...

Moments later a member of staff was found slumped over the water cooler in the kitchen, tears running down his face, glowing red, palpitating and sweating profusely. Spouting random giberish for several minutes he eventually regained the power of speech, though his sight had yet to return. Then came the digestive process... the stench was a crime against humanity. Burying your head in a steaming pile of horse shite couldn't even come close to this abomination. I don't think the toilet bowl has been the same ever since.

No food has since disappeared."

 

This one is even better:

"I squirted a pre-mixed syringe of Dave and Nescafe into a Technology teacher's coffee when I was at school.

He was a bit of a jumpy feller, and didn't just assume that it was a prank by some students that thought he was a bit of a twat, no. He thought someone was trying to kill him.

So he went to the local hospital, got his stomach pumped; then rampaged around school picking up innocent kids and dragging them into interrogation, until it leaked it was me - aided by my tech class.

He was sent home by the headmaster before he could cave my skull in, but on his way called the police and slapped an assualt charge on me.

Thankfully, he had 'cooled down' a bit the next day and dropped the charges, so I didn't get expelled and took my exams, but since then I am firmly an ex-Dave abuser."

 

This one is the winner!

"For lack of a better word, we had crack whores in our neighborhood that liked to have sex on the bench that was attached to our porch. we would come out in the morning and find used condoms and empty crack baggies strewn about. i went to peppers of key west (a store that only sells hot sauce) and bought the most intense daves sauce. we filled a spray bottle with it. we covered the bench with a tightly stretched layer of plastic wrap so you couldnt see it, then we covered it with a light mist of the sauce. that night we heard the worst gut-wrenching scream as the sauce got all over the offenders nekkid naughty parts. it took a few days of repeat dousings to get rid of them, but i'm happy to say we are now crack-whore free!!!!"

 

Dave's Insanity Sauce should change it's slogan to "It keeps crack whores away!"

[Jacob M.]

Recently my interest in hot sauce has been sparked again. I've been looking for a sauce that is really hot so I went the habanero route. I found a bottle of Extreme Heat Wild Fire yesterday. After trying it on a couple things I must say that I'm not impressed. It's rather weak. I also bought a Tabasco green sauce. I realize that it's weaker than the original, but I'm hoping it will have a better flavor. Have only tried it once so I'm not sure if I like it yet.

[Fat Freddy]

Again I am reminded that I never got my free hot sauce.

 

Why you gotta keep draggin' up bad memories, Jacob?

[heaven&hell]

Did anyone ever try Michael Anthony's hot sauce?

 

He was talking about on That Metal Show on Saturday night and he said it's so hot you'll need two assholes.

[glam_junkie]

I believe that the discussions of michael anthony and 2 assholes actually referred to this:

 

[Dark Star]

I believe that the discussions of michael anthony and 2 assholes actually referred to this:

 

 

 

Ok that's just plain funny.. Even more cause it's True!!!

[heaven&hell]

I believe that the discussions of michael anthony and 2 assholes actually referred to this:

 

 

 

Ok that's just plain funny.. Even more cause it's True!!!

 

Yes very funny stuff. Good one Lindsy.

[Evil Rick]

I believe that the discussions of michael anthony and 2 assholes actually referred to this:

 

That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!