Best of Geoff's Main site reviews

[auslander]

From: Geoff	Date: January 3, 2005 at 23:52
This album is about as interesting as buttering your penis and then applying peanut butter on top. It has as many hooks as a peice of paper and is really quite a boring pile of crap, IMO. Avoidable

[Ponen]

This was the the review that changed my life, made me realize I have found the man! The guy I should follow. The rest is history. 

[auslander]

From: Geoff

Date: August 17, 2004 at 20:48

AOR Freaky, mate why do you make such idiotic statements?! Because you don't personally like this disc it is one of the worst ever released? What a f*cked way of thinking! Moronic. So you don't like, well there are thousands of others that do enjoy big catchy choruses, awesome lyrics, cool riffs and one of the most listenable albums I have ever heard. So this is worse than all dance/rap/country/pop etc. releases ever?! Stop making me think you're a complete vegetable, AOR Freaky! It hurts.

[Glen]

AOR Freaky was an idiot 🙄 

[Glen]

22 hours ago, auslander said:

From: Geoff	Date: January 3, 2005 at 23:52
This album is about as interesting as buttering your penis and then applying peanut butter on top. It has as many hooks as a peice of paper and is really quite a boring pile of crap, IMO. Avoidable

what album was this? intrigued

[auslander]

5 hours ago, Glen said:

what album was this? intrigued

Nuclear Valdez. I found it cause it was listed on ebay and used HH to consult the Oracle. Obviously I didn't end up bidding on it!

[auslander]

From: Geoff	Date: March 15, 2010 at 22:18
This is TERRIBLE! This was so bad I actually wanted to physically harm it. I won't go on too much because I really have nothing positive to say about this. Dreadful songs, poor sound, no hooks and just a really annoying vibe on this CD. Goran Edman has been involved with a lot of terrible CDs (amidst some gems too) but this is definitely one of his worst. Avoid.

[Geoff]

But out of curiosity, what was the album he was talking about in the last post? A Glory album? 

[auslander]

1 hour ago, Geoff said:

But out of curiosity, what was the album he was talking about in the last post? A Glory album? 

Jayce Landberg

[auslander]

From: Geoff

Date: February 27, 2005 at 5:56

"Hey, Geoff. You're very attractive... in fact, almost sexy... but I was just wondering what the worst disc you've ever heard is?" Why thank you. In answer to your question, I'd have to say that I heard this shitty band in the 80's that sounded like they wanted to be another band I sincerely hate, by the name of The Doors. What was the name of those clones in the 80's? Yes, that'd be The Front. If you like it bland as dead fungus, check this out. IMO a truly awful CD.

[Geoff]

[auslander]

From: Geoff	Date: February 10, 2010 at 20:14
YUCK! YUUUUCCCKKK!!! Sorry guys, just hated this. I got this and the debut at the same time and I have to admit I thought the debut was pretty decent. A lot of fillers, but some good tracks too. This, however, I just thought was horrible. I'll admit I didn't give it more than a couple of spins, but that's two more than it deserved. Boring, hookless AOR, imo.

A more obscure band but had to resurrect this thread after reading the review. Needless to say I let this cheap CD go to the keeper after reading this.

Edited November 14, 2023 by auslander

[Geoff]

17 hours ago, auslander said:

From: Geoff	Date: February 10, 2010 at 20:14
YUCK! YUUUUCCCKKK!!! Sorry guys, just hated this. I got this and the debut at the same time and I have to admit I thought the debut was pretty decent. A lot of fillers, but some good tracks too. This, however, I just thought was horrible. I'll admit I didn't give it more than a couple of spins, but that's two more than it deserved. Boring, hookless AOR, imo.

A more obscure band but had to resurrect this thread after reading the review. Needless to say I let this cheap CD go to the keeper after reading this.

Lol, don’t leave me hanging, man. What album was I talking about? 

[auslander]

6 hours ago, Geoff said:

Lol, don’t leave me hanging, man. What album was I talking about? 

Spin Gallery "Embrace"

[Geoff]

15 hours ago, auslander said:

Spin Gallery "Embrace"

Ah, I remember that one. Picked it up for $2 at Merrylands back in the day. Millennium Music. Loved that shop so much, gave me countless gems at great prices through the years. But yeah, this was not one of them. Absolute shit, if memory serves. 

[Kristian]

From: Geoff	Date: March 4, 2005 at 18:26
Unbelievably bad disc. Musically they sounded quite good, but the songs are just shocking. Still not sure exactly what they were trying to do, but this one best left alone... and well avoided. I'd cross streets to avoid this one again - in the path of on-coming cars.

[Geoff]

3 hours ago, Kristian said:

From: Geoff	Date: March 4, 2005 at 18:26
Unbelievably bad disc. Musically they sounded quite good, but the songs are just shocking. Still not sure exactly what they were trying to do, but this one best left alone... and well avoided. I'd cross streets to avoid this one again - in the path of on-coming cars.

Lol. Dudes, you gotta tell me what albums these are for. I’m really curious about this one. 

[Kristian]

17 hours ago, Geoff said:

Lol. Dudes, you gotta tell me what albums these are for. I’m really curious about this one. 

Dizzy Mizz Lizzy - Debut.

[Geoff]

16 hours ago, Kristian said:

Dizzy Mizz Lizzy - Debut.

Haha, yep, that one was shit indeed! 

[Kristian]

3 hours ago, Geoff said:

Haha, yep, that one was shit indeed! 

[Kristian]

From: Geoff	Date: September 9, 2005 at 1:43
I can't say I've ever put a sharp object in my ass, but I predict it would feel very similar to the sensation of listening to this album. I quite like (beep!), but this is horrible sheep herding music. Absolute crap. Must admit that '(beep!)' is a very nice AOR ballad with some nice keys - and no, I'm not kidding. Surprised the crap out of me too. Overall though, a disaster of an album.

[Geoff]

lol, what on earth is that for? What does he mean by “sheep herding music?” And what is the “beep” thing all about? Help me make sense of this! 😉

[Kristian]

6 hours ago, Geoff said:

lol, what on earth is that for? What does he mean by “sheep herding music?” And what is the “beep” thing all about? Help me make sense of this! 😉

 

Here's your original comments without the "beep's".

From: Geoff	Date: September 9, 2005 at 1:43
I can't say I've ever put a sharp object in my ass, but I predict it would feel very similar to the sensation of listening to this album. I quite like DAD, but this is horrible sheep herding music. Absolute crap. Must admit that 'It's after dark' is a very nice AOR ballad with some nice keys - and no, I'm not kidding. Surprised the crap out of me too. Overall though, a disaster of an album.

[Kristian]

Here's another one, actually positive this time, but still hilarious.

From: Geoff

Date: December 7, 2004 at 4:16

Check your balls at the door before you step inside to listen to this one... because if you go in balls and all this is just going to rip 'em right out of that flimsy sack that held them inside for so long. Sorry ladies - but consider yourself relatively lucky and safe when listening to this CD. I don't use this term ever, but this is 'in-your-face' heavy rock and f*cking excellent at that. If you like your rock very hard, you'll love this one. Great CD, two huge thumbs up!

[Geoff]

5 hours ago, Kristian said:

 

Here's your original comments without the "beep's".

From: Geoff	Date: September 9, 2005 at 1:43
I can't say I've ever put a sharp object in my ass, but I predict it would feel very similar to the sensation of listening to this album. I quite like DAD, but this is horrible sheep herding music. Absolute crap. Must admit that 'It's after dark' is a very nice AOR ballad with some nice keys - and no, I'm not kidding. Surprised the crap out of me too. Overall though, a disaster of an album.

Oh, cool, thanks. I was wondering, did I really add the beeps, and why? lol. I think I recall that one now, with some random AOR ballad amongst the shit. That was a long time ago, though!! 

 

5 hours ago, Kristian said:

Here's another one, actually positive this time, but still hilarious.

From: Geoff

Date: December 7, 2004 at 4:16

Check your balls at the door before you step inside to listen to this one... because if you go in balls and all this is just going to rip 'em right out of that flimsy sack that held them inside for so long. Sorry ladies - but consider yourself relatively lucky and safe when listening to this CD. I don't use this term ever, but this is 'in-your-face' heavy rock and f*cking excellent at that. If you like your rock very hard, you'll love this one. Great CD, two huge thumbs up!

No idea what this one is either. Hints?