My Ashes Rant

[Jez]

Holy fuck......What a train wreck that bowling display was

 

Why in the fuck would an opening bowler playing test cricket hold his fingers across the seam !!!!!!!

Straight away that removes any chance of swing or movement off the seam !!!!!!

Johnson also did this in the first test and it is just mind boggling that Ponting or the coach can not see this and do something about it.....This is test cricket for fuck sake....I can't believe what I am seeing.

And this is our strike bowler

I can see a massive score happening here and then it will be up to England to bowl Australia out twice..... Otherwise we will have another draw on our hands.

Again, Stuart Clark should have been the first bowler picked !!!!!!

 

 

Is Stuart Clark injured, or are they just not selecting him?

 

Hold your horses for a bit mate, If England lose one or two quick wickets, three or four more can go aswell.

 

Just not picking him......why.....I would love to know the reason....probably because he bowls like McGrath and has an impecable line and length...we could not have a bowler in the side that can do that, could we now..fuckin moronic selectors

Yeah we are finally getting Warnies comments now that his Poker tournament is over.

 

 

Hmm - By mid afternoon and 220-2 The Aussies were in big trouble, but a good session after tea and I would say at 364 - 6 thats pretty much honours even, although we lost 1 or 2 too many wickets than we should. Strauss and Cook were superb and made a brilliant start, Bopara and KP started with intent and got out to stupid shots (again) and nothing much from Prior & Flintoff. Your attack was terrible for the majority of the day though, and only when the ball started swinging later on, did anyone look like they were going to take wickets (Hilfenhaus again was way the best bowler) plus Collingwood and Bopara were a couple of gifts. They reckon rain all day tomorrow, so may be no play at all, so Saturday promises to be interesting. Good days cricket all in all.

[glam_junkie]

Not a bad recovery from the Aussies by the end of the day. The last score I saw before going to bed was about 0/150, so to get back to 6/364 was unexpected. Still, great attacking start by England and they difinitely have Day 1 honours.

 

These days, if you bat first you really need to make 400+ to have the advantage. Depending on the pitch, 350 seems to be a break even score. England should really be able to push toward 500 from their current position, ...and they've scored the runs quickly which all goes well for a result.

[Dave]

Make no mistake, England have let Australia off the hook slightly with a couple of very cheap wickets {AGAIN} and the first couple of sessions on day two could have a big result in the way this game pans out.

These two sides in my opinion don't have much seperating them when it comes to talent, but in all honesty, neither of them are very good.

If either of these sides were to play either the Australian or England sides of 2005, they would get belted.

I would say England are still in the best position after day 1.

Australia seriously needs to look at their bowling attack and I knew this was gonna happen.

The worst thing that has happened to Australia was them beating Sth Africa in Sth Africa and the selectors then thinking this was the bowling attack they were going to go with in England.

The only reason we beat Sth Africa is because they, like Kevin Pietersen are so full of themselves they think they just have to turn up and not worry about doing the hard work.

They are a better side by miles compared to Australia but their arrogance and massive big heads brought them un-stuck big time.

The 2005 Ashes series was very similar to the last Sth African series and that is in 2005 everyone including the Aussie side expected it to be a whitewash again and just a formality, just like everyone including the Sth African side expected them to belt the fujesus out of the Australians.

Arrogance is not a good thing to take into a Test Series and it will bring you unstuck.

[Jez]

Bloody marvellous day for England. I'll say no more

[TIM (2)]

Was especially good to see Ponting looking miserable after his dismissal - tosser. Be awesome to beat these arrogant dicks.

[Dave]

Was especially good to see Ponting looking miserable after his dismissal - tosser. Be awesome to beat these arrogant dicks.

 

So would you If you did not fuckin' hit it

 

In all fuckin' seriousness, how fucked is this 3rd umpire bullshit when the main umpire refers to him to clarify if the ball carried to Strauss at slips and that is all he can adjudicate on.........for fuck sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I was the 3rd umpire, I would get back to him on his little walkie-fuckin'-talkie and say "Yeah, it did carry to him, but he did not hit it you dumb fuck"

Anyway, we ain't gonna get out of this mess unless a physio comes out at the start of the first session and does some physio work on siddle and hilfenhaus for about 8 hours

[Jez]

Was especially good to see Ponting looking miserable after his dismissal - tosser. Be awesome to beat these arrogant dicks.

 

So would you If you did not fuckin' hit it

 

In all fuckin' seriousness, how fucked is this 3rd umpire bullshit when the main umpire refers to him to clarify if the ball carried to Strauss at slips and that is all he can adjudicate on.........for fuck sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I was the 3rd umpire, I would get back to him on his little walkie-fuckin'-talkie and say "Yeah, it did carry to him, but he did not hit it you dumb fuck''

Anyway, we ain't gonna get out of this mess unless a physio comes out at the start of the first session and does some physio work on siddle and hilfenhaus for about 8 hours

 

I would have also added on my walkie talkie , ''Yeah, it did carry to him, but he did not hit it you dumb fuck, but it was plumb Leg before, so get him off anyway''

[Dave]

Was especially good to see Ponting looking miserable after his dismissal - tosser. Be awesome to beat these arrogant dicks.

 

So would you If you did not fuckin' hit it

 

In all fuckin' seriousness, how fucked is this 3rd umpire bullshit when the main umpire refers to him to clarify if the ball carried to Strauss at slips and that is all he can adjudicate on.........for fuck sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I was the 3rd umpire, I would get back to him on his little walkie-fuckin'-talkie and say "Yeah, it did carry to him, but he did not hit it you dumb fuck''

Anyway, we ain't gonna get out of this mess unless a physio comes out at the start of the first session and does some physio work on siddle and hilfenhaus for about 8 hours

 

I would have also added on my walkie talkie , ''Yeah, it did carry to him, but he did not hit it you dumb fuck, but it was plumb Leg before, so get him off anyway''

 

.....Love it

[Geoff]

Weren't both of the first two dismissals incorrect? I thought the first dude was incorrectly given too - even more obviously than Ponting. Either way, looks like the Aussies will be 1-0 down in a couple of days.

[Jez]

Weren't both of the first two dismissals incorrect? I thought the first dude was incorrectly given too - even more obviously than Ponting. Either way, looks like the Aussies will be 1-0 down in a couple of days.

 

 

Hughes snicked one behind and as I said above, even if Ponting didn't hit the ball to the slips, he sure was plumb LBW so, no complaints there either to be honest.

 

 

England going well at 65 for 1, 275 runs ahead and at 5 runs an over aswell, which is excellent. I don't know what a good score will be to retire on, maybe 300 ish to give us about a 500 lead by lunch tomorrow (if we last that long) and give us 1 1/2 days to bowl the Aussies out again. Whatever, England in complete control at the moment and going well.

[Geoff]

So just so I know what's going on, England now have to bowl Australia out in Australia's 2nd innings to ensure victory? If Australia can't match England's score but don't get bowled out by the end of day 5 it's another draw? The Aussies appear to be completely fucked, to put it mildly.

[Jez]

So just so I know what's going on, England now have to bowl Australia out in Australia's 2nd innings to ensure victory? If Australia can't match England's score but don't get bowled out by the end of day 5 it's another draw? The Aussies appear to be completely fucked, to put it mildly.

 

Spot on Geoff. The only way the Aussies are gonna get a win out of this, is if they get England out really cheaply, say under 200, by lunch tomorrow (they are over a hundred now) and then they have 1 1/2 days to chase down 400'ish which is not impossible at all - England will have to bowl really badly not to bowl them out in that time though, so you need some help. All is not lost for you yet, but becoming increasingly doubtful as the hours go on.

[Dave]

Only alot of rain and some physio treatment can save us now.

Jez is right, don't worry about Australia being able to win this because they can't, England have to ensure they leave enough time to be able to get Australia out {The way they are going, about 30 overs should do the trick }

There only hope is a draw but I can't even see any chance of that happening...

[Geoff]

Haha. Yeah, it only got worse as time went on. I really can't see the Aussies making up that difference in runs, so here's hoping for rain or a nice display of delaying skills by the Aussies.

[glam_junkie]

i thought it was swinging down leg....

[Dave]

i thought it was swinging down leg....

 

After watching it a couple of times on slow motion today, I think you might be right.....

[TIM (2)]

Haha. Yeah, it only got worse as time went on. I really can't see the Aussies making up that difference in runs, so here's hoping for rain or a nice display of delaying skills by the Aussies.

 

Hoping for rain in England is like hoping for a great album from Fair Warning. It's pretty much a guarantee.

[Jez]

i thought it was swinging down leg....

 

After watching it a couple of times on slow motion today, I think you might be right.....

 

Mine's swinging down my leg mate - Happy days!

[Geoff]

Haha. Yeah, it only got worse as time went on. I really can't see the Aussies making up that difference in runs, so here's hoping for rain or a nice display of delaying skills by the Aussies.

 

Hoping for rain in England is like hoping for a great album from Fair Warning. It's pretty much a guarantee.

Well, the English weather seems desperate to agree with me that Fair Warning really do suck. Looks like it's going to stay dry just long enough to see Australia fail. It's nice to see Clarke and Haddin actually having a go, though. The first 5 wickets fell quicker than intercourse with me.

[Dave]

i thought it was swinging down leg....

 

After watching it a couple of times on slow motion today, I think you might be right.....

 

Mine's swinging down my leg mate - Happy days!

 

The rule has now been clarified and hopefully that third umpire will never have anything to do with Test Cricket again and after some other brilliant decisions by that dumb fuck geriatric Koertzen and a corker from that other dumb fuck Doctrove, the umpiring standards could not get any worse and if the ICC were fair dinkum', these clowns should, from here on in only officiate Test matches between Canada and Bangladesh.

 

Just to reiterate some laws of the game :

 

Law 1:

 

If a decision has been referred to the third umpire / video umpire for him to adjudicate on wether a catch has carried to the fielder and then whilst viewing it, he sees that the ball did not make contact with the bat, it does not matter wether the fieldsmen caught it or not, the batsmen is to be adjudicated as "Not Out"

 

Law 2:

 

You can not be out caught off a "No Ball"

 

Law 3:

 

You can not be out caught if the ball hits the ground before you catch it.

 

Law 4:

 

To be out caught in slips, the ball must hit the bat first.

 

Hope that clarifies some obvious misunderstandings of the rules !!!!

[Glen]

Haha. Yeah, it only got worse as time went on. I really can't see the Aussies making up that difference in runs, so here's hoping for rain or a nice display of delaying skills by the Aussies.

 

Hoping for rain in England is like hoping for a great album from Fair Warning. It's pretty much a guarantee.

Well, the English weather seems desperate to agree with me that Fair Warning really do suck. Looks like it's going to stay dry just long enough to see Australia fail. It's nice to see Clarke and Haddin actually having a go, though. The first 5 wickets fell quicker than intercourse with me.

 

200 tomorrow is doable. Will be some comeback if they pull it off.

[Jez]

I have a bad feeling about this one and when it comes to England, I am not often wrong. I think The Aussies are gonna get damn close or actually beat the record and get there you know. Clarke and Haddin were excellent today and it just goes to show that 1 or 2 people can win you a game of cricket or get you damned close), when the rest of your team have been really poor all game. I think England played really well today and all the game and have been way ahead in quality(the opposite of the last game), but Clarke and Haddin have definitely swung this back to middle ground and this is anyone's match again. If the Aussies make this , then all I can say is (and I hate to say it) well done boys. New ball tomorrow and an early wicket, or England are in big trouble.

[Geoff]

Haha. Yeah, it only got worse as time went on. I really can't see the Aussies making up that difference in runs, so here's hoping for rain or a nice display of delaying skills by the Aussies.

 

Hoping for rain in England is like hoping for a great album from Fair Warning. It's pretty much a guarantee.

Well, the English weather seems desperate to agree with me that Fair Warning really do suck. Looks like it's going to stay dry just long enough to see Australia fail. It's nice to see Clarke and Haddin actually having a go, though. The first 5 wickets fell quicker than intercourse with me.

 

200 tomorrow is doable. Will be some comeback if they pull it off.

Do-able? Yes. Likely? Not really. But I'll try to watch what I can anyway.

[Geoff]

New ball tomorrow and an early wicket, or England are in big trouble.

That's my big fear. They were on a roll yesterday and it's promising, but all they need is a cheap early lapse in getting back into the groove and that's it; game over. Anyway, I do hope I get to see how it unfolds. It'd be nice to see them able to settle in.

[Jez]

i thought it was swinging down leg....

 

After watching it a couple of times on slow motion today, I think you might be right.....

 

Mine's swinging down my leg mate - Happy days!

 

The rule has now been clarified and hopefully that third umpire will never have anything to do with Test Cricket again and after some other brilliant decisions by that dumb fuck geriatric Koertzen and a corker from that other dumb fuck Doctrove, the umpiring standards could not get any worse and if the ICC were fair dinkum', these clowns should, from here on in only officiate Test matches between Canada and Bangladesh.

 

Just to reiterate some laws of the game :

 

Law 1:

 

If a decision has been referred to the third umpire / video umpire for him to adjudicate on wether a catch has carried to the fielder and then whilst viewing it, he sees that the ball did not make contact with the bat, it does not matter wether the fieldsmen caught it or not, the batsmen is to be adjudicated as "Not Out"

 

Law 2:

 

You can not be out caught off a "No Ball"

 

Law 3:

 

You can not be out caught if the ball hits the ground before you catch it.

 

Law 4:

 

To be out caught in slips, the ball must hit the bat first.

 

Hope that clarifies some obvious misunderstandings of the rules !!!!

 

Unfortunately mate that is the way it goes for everyone. We all get bad decisions in a match (Bopara got 2 in the first match lbw's that were too high, especially the 2nd one which was about a mile over ), but you just have to get on with it i.m afraid. My initial thought on the Strauss' catch was that it carried and the other one, I thought he hit at first aswell. The umpire thought so too, hence why he didn't refer them. Looking back, very hard to tell, although I still think Strauss made a good catch. The Flintoff no ball was unlucky though, i'll give you that one.