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Posted
Elwood- Shit!!

Jake-What?

Elwood-Rollers

Jake-Shit!!

Jake - You got us into this parking lot pal. Now you get us out!!

Elwood - You want out of this parking lot...OK!!

Posted

From Anchorman Legend Of Ron Burgandy talking about Sex Panther...

 

Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh.

Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady.

Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food. Oh, excuse me.

Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people

Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair.

News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick.

Posted

"Bossa Nova!"

"Chevy Nova?"

 

-- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Posted

Male Movie Patron in front row:This is the best 3D movie ever!

Female/Date/Girlfriend: Eh, I've seen better.

::THA...WAP:: knuckle sandwich right between the eyes by the 'villian'

Female/Date/Girlfriend: Whoa!

 

Bachelor Party

Posted

"Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ...I see the light!!!!!!"

 

Jake Blues, The Blues Brothers

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck *my* dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker."

 

From Eddie Murphy RAW.

Posted

"All we are is dust in the wind, dude."

(Picks up dirt) "Dust."

(tosses dirt) "Wind."

(points at Socrates) "Dude."

 

-- Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Posted

Elwood- Shit!!

Jake-What?

Elwood-Rollers

Jake-Shit!!

Jake - You got us into this parking lot pal. Now you get us out!!

Elwood - You want out of this parking lot...OK!!

 

Elwood-I bet they got SCMODs

Jake-SCMODS?

Elwood-State,County,Municipal,Offender Data Systems

Posted

Some from a true favorite of mine.

 

 

Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?

Randal Graves: Annoying customer.

 

 

Dante Hicks: You hate people!

Randal Graves: But, I love gatherings, isn't it ironic?

 

 

Dante Hicks: Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!

Posted
Some from a true favorite of mine.

 

 

Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?

Randal Graves: Annoying customer.

 

 

Dante Hicks: You hate people!

Randal Graves: But, I love gatherings, isn't it ironic?

 

 

Dante Hicks: Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!

 

CLERKS! :bowdown:

 

I'm dyin' to see "Clerks 2" but haven't had time to go rent it yet.

 

Some more:

[after losing a hockey ball from the roof]

Dante Hicks: Are there any balls down there?

Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

 

 

Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent?

[reads the cover to Randal's videotape]

Dante Hicks: "Best of Both Worlds"?

Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.

Dante Hicks: And you rented this?

Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.

 

Randal Graves: [reading a magazine] Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?

Dante Hicks: What's a jizz-mopper?

Randal Graves: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booth after each guy jerks off.

Dante Hicks: Nudie booth?

Randal Graves: Yeah, nudie booth. You've never been in a nudie booth?

Dante Hicks: I guess not.

Randal Graves: Oh, it's great. There's this glass between you and these chicks, and they put on a show for you for like 10 bucks.

Dante Hicks: What kinda show?

[Customer walks up to counter with a bottle of glass cleaner and a roll of paper towels]

Randal Graves: They do the weirdest, craziest shit you like to see chicks do. They insert things into any opening on their body - ANY opening.

Dante Hicks: Could we not talk about this right now?

 

 

 

Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

 

 

Veronica Loughran: Hi, Randal.

Randal Graves: Thirty-seven?

Dante Hicks: Shut up!

Posted

Some from a true favorite of mine.

 

 

Customer: Cute cat. What's its name?

Randal Graves: Annoying customer.

 

 

Dante Hicks: You hate people!

Randal Graves: But, I love gatherings, isn't it ironic?

 

 

Dante Hicks: Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!

 

CLERKS! :bowdown:

 

I'm dyin' to see "Clerks 2" but haven't had time to go rent it yet.

 

Some more:

[after losing a hockey ball from the roof]

Dante Hicks: Are there any balls down there?

Jay: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry!

 

 

Dante Hicks: Hey, whatcha rent?

[reads the cover to Randal's videotape]

Dante Hicks: "Best of Both Worlds"?

Randal Graves: Hermaphroditic porn. Starlets with both organs. You should see the box. Beautiful chicks with dicks that put mine to shame.

Dante Hicks: And you rented this?

Randal Graves: Hey, I like to expand my horizons.

 

Randal Graves: [reading a magazine] Have you ever wondered how much the average jizz-mopper makes per hour?

Dante Hicks: What's a jizz-mopper?

Randal Graves: He's the guy that cleans up the nudie booth after each guy jerks off.

Dante Hicks: Nudie booth?

Randal Graves: Yeah, nudie booth. You've never been in a nudie booth?

Dante Hicks: I guess not.

Randal Graves: Oh, it's great. There's this glass between you and these chicks, and they put on a show for you for like 10 bucks.

Dante Hicks: What kinda show?

[Customer walks up to counter with a bottle of glass cleaner and a roll of paper towels]

Randal Graves: They do the weirdest, craziest shit you like to see chicks do. They insert things into any opening on their body - ANY opening.

Dante Hicks: Could we not talk about this right now?

 

 

 

Customer: It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

 

 

Veronica Loughran: Hi, Randal.

Randal Graves: Thirty-seven?

Dante Hicks: Shut up!

 

 

Damn I LOVE that movie!!!!*G* You MUST go rent Clerks 2!!!!! Seriously!!! Just DO IT...*L*

 

Can you tell I like kinda worship Kevin Smith??*L*

Posted

from Airplane..

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

  • 5 weeks later...
Posted

My wife and I watched "Erin Brockovich" over the weekend (one of her faves) for the first time in awhile, and this exchange always cracks me the hell up:

 

Kurt Potter: Wha... how did you do this?

Erin Brockovich: Well, um, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise, and Ed here was losing all faith in the system, am I right?

Ed Masry: Oh, yeah, completely. No faith, no faith...

Erin Brockovich: I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days.

(pause) I'm really quite tired.

Posted

There are so many great movie quotes!

A couple of my favorites come from the move "Talladega Nights:The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby"

they are....

 

"Shake N' Bake!"

 

&

 

"If You Ain't First, You're Last!"

 

:tumbsup:

Posted

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

 

Mitch from Old School

Posted

"WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT"

 

---Jaws

Posted

Shwarzenager(Dangling Sully over a cliff) Remember when I promised to kill you last

Sully - Yeah, Yeah,

Shwarzenager - I Lied(dropping him off the cliff)

Rae Don Chong - What Did You Do With Sully?

Shwarzenager - I Let Him Go

 

 

 

Does Marcellus Wallace Look like a bitch?

Then Why you trying to fuck him like a bitch?

Marcellus Wallace don't like being fucked by nobody but Mrs. Wallace

 

Major League

Harris - have you ever thought of throwing all this voodoo shit away and taking jesus christ as your savior?

Cerrano - I like jesus very much, but he no help with curve ball

Harris - are you trying to tell me that jesus christ cant hit a curve ball

 

Blazzing Saddles

The sherrifs a ni...............

 

Bruce Willis - Jesus Christ Motherfucker, do you think im baking a pie up hear?

Posted
There are so many great movie quotes!

A couple of my favorites come from the move "Talladega Nights:The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby"

they are....

 

"Shake N' Bake!"

 

&

 

"If You Ain't First, You're Last!"

 

:tumbsup:

 

 

Don't forget some other goodies from that movie:

 

 

"I'm gonna come at you like a Spider-Monkey"

 

"If you don't like Big Red then F#@k you"

 

"I wake up in the morning and piss excellence"

 

"I like to think of my Jesus wearing a Tuxedo shirt, it says formal and says I like to party"

Posted

MERF & THE MAGIC TONES? LOOK AT YOU GUYS IN THOSE CANDY-ASS MONKEY SUITS!!

 

----John Belushi

----The Blues Brothers

  • 3 months later...
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Posted

from Bachelor Party (lots of good quotes in this cool movie)

 

Gary: I just bet my balls....and shook on it!

 

after paying $200 to a "heavy bro" (pimp) for some hookers for the party....

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Hey Bro! you aint the first guy to ever get cheated on by his girl, you should always keep one thing in mind, If you werent fuckin her, somebody else would be, now stop being a snivelling pussy, and get in their and bang this bitch.

 

The Animal.

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