Jump to content

Hey Geoff


JustJason

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 352
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Firstly, this thread excites a place in my pants. Secondly, thirdly, fourthly and so on:

 

What's the future like?

 

There are elves, people and trees. Squirrels and plenty of armadillos. Gravity and all that jive is no longer... love is what spins the world around. I know Jesus on a first name basis and most importantly, you are "Still at it". Jani just went to the fridge to get me some yoghurt. His belly and throat hurt after reciting a stirring acoustic rendition of his classic 'April 2031' to me. I still haven't caught the mouse that crawled inside my shoe. But I'll get him... I have time and a questionable dark mole on my side. Excuse me, Jani's coming back. He brought me a fried duck foot.

 

Are there norks for everyone?

 

Only for the beautiful people. Sorry Pete. I'll post some pictures for you. :P

 

Hey Geoff..........as for future questions............will I EVER get this freaking cell phone set up????????????????

:crying:

 

Sorry MJ, but no. Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball. When the tears exit his eyes comfort him and say, "I know, dear child, I've, like, so been there before. Just a few hours ago, when I was trying to set up your stupid peice of f*cking shit you call a f*cking phone, you f*cking hamster-strangling hippy! Yeah, I've seen you on the weekend! What the f*ck's your problem?! You think it's funny to run over beavers?? Huh, well I've got f*cking news for you! It's not. They love, just like you and I. We all love. But I'm starting to question whether you really do. Do you know what the f*ck love is?"

 

After that, go to another dealer and ask them to set the phone up for you as you wait. Or you'll get Geoff onto 'em.

 

Can you teleport???? It'd get me to the pub quicker.

 

Or have the elves taken over like the apes did..."Planet of the Elves" ???

 

Correct, Nick. Teleporting is now the only way to get to a pub. If you try to "walk" or "drive" there, the elves get you. I've seen what they do to humans, and quite frankly... I've seen more kindness in an electric chair.

 

"Planet of the Elves" ???

A film "short" perhaps?

 

I'm currently working on the script. I was just looking for a star. Are you free for a few months, Pete? :P Bring the christmas tree along if you want... just for effect.

 

really  <_<  who are you?

 

I'm Geoff.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have $5000 just laying around.  What should I do with it?

 

I will send you my address and you will send me the money. I will guide you as to what to do with it once it is in my bank account. I must warn you, though, my bank account is very hungry. But yeah, just send it my way mate. Paypal's cool too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Geoff, will I ever get the girl that doe's "Everything"? ;)

 

No. Sorry mate.

 

They're all too busy making videos for our enjoyment... but is it really enjoyment, or just plain f*cking torture?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball.

 

 

Bullsh*t Geoff... that's what you told Russell Crowe and look where it got him!

 

:lol: Yeah, you're right there. It got him the bloody Rabbitohs!!! How could you ask for worse than that??? :lol: (Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Geoff, ...would your life have been different if you were named "Jeff" instead of "Geoff"?

 

I really don't know. I may have been even more handsome, and not had this homosexual reputation preceed me wherever I go. Who can say for sure? Only my new buddy Jesus can really know for sure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball.

 

 

Bullsh*t Geoff... that's what you told Russell Crowe and look where it got him!

 

:lol: Yeah, you're right there. It got him the bloody Rabbitohs!!! How could you ask for worse than that??? :lol: (Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)

 

 

Sorry Geoff, I'm from SA so to me the "Rabbitohs" sound more like a breakfast cereal than a football team.

 

"Start every morning with a nutritious bowl of Rabbit-O's and pretty soon you'll be breeding like a rabbit... o...ohhh.....ohhh"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Geoff, ...would your life have been different if you were named "Jeff" instead of "Geoff"?

 

I really don't know. I may have been even more handsome, and not had this homosexual reputation preceed me wherever I go. Who can say for sure? Only my new buddy Jesus can really know for sure.

 

 

I think you would probably be far wealthier. Just think everytime you have written the name "Geoff" when you could have been writing "Jeff"... that's an extrra letter everytime you have ever written/typed your name.

 

Just say you write or type you name 20 times per day, at 365 dasys per year thats 7300 times per year, which by the time you're 40 is 292,000 ...extra letters you have written. If it takes 1 second per letter that would be 81.1 hours of life you hvae wasted!

 

Now, taking into account that 'time is money' ...ff your earn say $25 per hour, simply due to the spelling of your name it has cost you $2027.77.

Add onto that the extra pencils, pen ink, printer ink you have used and your parents have probably cost you $2500 cos of the spelling of your name.

 

At $30 a carton, this has hence cost you 83.3 cartons of beer, or 1999.99 can/bottles of beer... which is a hell of a good time and good looking women.

 

So unfortunately Geoff, I believe you life would have been far better if your parents only had the sense to spell your name correctly.

 

FOr this reason I am changing my name by depol from 'Lindsay' to 'L'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Return to telephone dealer and throw directly at right eyeball.

 

 

Bullsh*t Geoff... that's what you told Russell Crowe and look where it got him!

 

:lol: Yeah, you're right there. It got him the bloody Rabbitohs!!! How could you ask for worse than that??? :lol: (Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)

 

 

Sorry Geoff, I'm from SA so to me the "Rabbitohs" sound more like a breakfast cereal than a football team.

 

"Start every morning with a nutritious bowl of Rabbit-O's and pretty soon you'll be breeding like a rabbit... o...ohhh.....ohhh"

 

Firstly, why the hell are the quotes not working for these replies?

 

Secondly, allow me to amend this: "(Aussie reference few foreigners will understand)" ... this should have read: (Aussie reference no one outside of NSW, Australia will understand).

 

You haven't heard of the South Sydney Rabbitoh's? Wow, you foreign-state-ers are well out of touch with reality. I have a few buddies from SA. Odd folk down there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Geoff, ...would your life have been different if you were named "Jeff" instead of "Geoff"?

 

I really don't know. I may have been even more handsome, and not had this homosexual reputation preceed me wherever I go. Who can say for sure? Only my new buddy Jesus can really know for sure.

 

 

I think you would probably be far wealthier. Just think everytime you have written the name "Geoff" when you could have been writing "Jeff"... that's an extrra letter everytime you have ever written/typed your name.

 

Just say you write or type you name 20 times per day, at 365 dasys per year thats 7300 times per year, which by the time you're 40 is 292,000 ...extra letters you have written. If it takes 1 second per letter that would be 81.1 hours of life you hvae wasted!

 

Now, taking into account that 'time is money' ...ff your earn say $25 per hour, simply due to the spelling of your name it has cost you $2027.77.

Add onto that the extra pencils, pen ink, printer ink you have used and your parents have probably cost you $2500 cos of the spelling of your name.

 

At $30 a carton, this has hence cost you 83.3 cartons of beer, or 1999.99 can/bottles of beer... which is a hell of a good time and good looking women.

 

So unfortunately Geoff, I believe you life would have been far better if your parents only had the sense to spell your name correctly.

 

FOr this reason I am changing my name by depol from 'Lindsay' to 'L'.

 

That's actually some f*cking top logic there. I'm going to sue my parents for the money they owe me. I apologise for the life you must be living with 7 letters in your name. I realised my life was on a downhill slalom when I used to be called Geoffrey, so I changed that quick. I've been thinking of calling myself G for a long time. It fits in well because I'm an original hard core gangster from the streets of hood. I kick it regularly too, which is sort of working in my favour.

 

L works good for you. It matches your eyes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have $5000 just laying around.  What should I do with it?

 

I will send you my address and you will send me the money. I will guide you as to what to do with it once it is in my bank account. I must warn you, though, my bank account is very hungry. But yeah, just send it my way mate. Paypal's cool too.

Okay G, let for conversations sake say that I did not send you the money directly but rather took your advice and invested it. I of course would give you your 35% so what should I do with the money? If you say blow it on a trip, I will gladly share with you the 35% of the fun that I have or 35% of the air sickness whichever is greater....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, sounds cool to me. I will take my $1750 for initial investment now, and then I'll take whatever interest I get on a monthly basis, after you cover the difference for the input of the $5000. Thanks heaps mate, I can't wait to see that $1750 hit my bank account. I appreciate it a lot. Cheers.

 

BTW, I get really sick when I fly too, and my ears get absolutely ass-raped. I wonder if my name was Jeff if this stuff would still happen to me?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, sounds cool to me. I will take my $1750 for initial investment now, and then I'll take whatever interest I get on a monthly basis, after you cover the difference for the input of the $5000. Thanks heaps mate, I can't wait to see that $1750 hit my bank account. I appreciate it a lot. Cheers.

 

BTW, I get really sick when I fly too, and my ears get absolutely ass-raped. I wonder if my name was Jeff if this stuff would still happen to me?

You could always stuff the G and the O in your ears to drive away all the ass rapers.... :axe:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was speaking to your dad the other day and I asked how he came up with a name for you and he told me that it goes back to the day you were born.

 

Apparently you were delivered on the loungeroom floor, and it was quite a scene. When your dad saw how dirty you were and that you were laying on his freshly cleaned carpet he screamed "Ge-off the fkn carpet!". Needless to say this caused you to cry. Rumour has it that your mum then turned around to you whilst you were crying and screamed "Would Je-FFukn shut your face!"

 

And hence, the story of how Geoff/Jeff/J got his name.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Posts

    • New album out June 28. Not my style per se, but well executed IMO.  
    • "Still in Love" and "Sweet Melody" by Lancia    
    • I posted about this record store (well, CD store really... it has a fair amount of vinyl, but the focus is CDs) 2 years ago. I go there about once a year, and every single time I do I keep kicking myself to go there more often. Not only for the sheer enjoyment of being able to shop the music genres we love and view all these releases in hand, but because it's so damned overwhelming. There's never time to go through things at leisure, pulling out boxes under racks to rummage, because even flying through things and NOT exploring new artists, it's still 3-4 hours to go through the alphabet... let alone stopping and using their listening station (they'll let you listen to used/opened material, not still sealed merch). It's only an hour and a half drive for me each way, so there's really ZERO excuse for me not going over there more frequently. This time I remembered to take a bunch of pictures, pulling out releases from artists we enjoy just to show what they had in stock... a lot of material you'll never see at any mainstream store (even if there is any that carry CDs anymore). Sure, the prices are more expensive than what you'll pay at Amazon and other online stores, but they're not as bad as you would think, and there are bargains to be had amongst the used material when it comes to OOP discs. And to be fair, being able to view all this stuff in-hand is worth it IMO. (Although every now and then you'll see an OOP disc that is WAAAAAAAY overpriced, but at least they have the odd and unusual.) They have one of those old-school "buyer club" stamp cards, with 20 spaces. One stamp per disc purchased. Every other stamp you get a dollar off, and when you fill a card you get $16.99 off your purchase and then you get a new card. On your birthday, you get $1 off every CD and that's on top of the buyer club card discounts. First the pics from when I was going through the aisles, starting with some general pics. Every single artist has its own title card, so look at the variety and depth of the artists. Also, look at the overstock in boxes underneath all the racks! That's the shit I never have time to go through (except when there's a specific artist I'm focusing in on). You've got CDs in the racks, then ringing the entire room is a shelf of box sets and limited editions, then above that VHS tapes, and above that vintage audio equipment. Sections for DVDs and blu-rays (not just music, but movies as well, including a small section of 4K and 3D titles). There's a smaller upper room level that is nothing but vinyl. If you're going to go, plan at least a full day, not just a quick drive-by. They're open from 11AM - 7PM Eastern Time.     Expensive at $249.99, but how many places have a still-sealed copy of the Vanden Plas Epic Works box set???     And now the stuff I picked up this trip. Most is completist fodder. There are a few artists where I literally want an example of every single pressing, even if I already have other label/year/country versions... call me OCD.               I picked up this one for trade/resale even though I already have it, as it is the LOOOONG out of print original fan club edition.     Hmmm... didn't know there was a solo effort, and it seems to be thematically related to the Threshold album "Legend of the Shires".       More OCD completist fodder. I didn't know that Avalon Records (Japan) licensed releases for South Korea.         Live albums aren't normally my thing, but this appears to be way out of print, and for $10 why not?   A few OOP releases for my multichannel audio collection       I'll be posting more about these once I get my shit together, but I'm WAAAAAAAAAY fucking late to the game when it comes to the Jethro Tull 40th anniversary CD + DVD special editions. They only reason I knew about them at all is that I saw a blurb about the 40th anniversary edition of "Broadsword and the Beast", which is my alltime favorite JT album, the first one I ever heard, and I love the album cover... which led me down the rabbithole of all these anniversary editions and their multichannel mixes. Unfortunately a few of them are now OOP and insanely in the $150-300 range. I ordered all of the ones that were still in print (or that had been reprinted), but there were still 4 that I needed... and they had one of them.   And lastly, the most expensive purchase of the day, going back to previous box set discussions, this was one that wasn't on my radar at the time it came out. Based upon eBay listings, it's now a tough find... and they had one still sealed. No, it's not the Amazon exclusive that was signed by Biff Byford, but autographs aren't important enough for me to spend the $500-$1,000 that the signed version now brings. This one will do nicely at a fraction of the cost... a huge and hefty tome (literally).   So when all was said and done, a great (and expensive!) shopping day, but a place I wholeheartedly recommend visiting should you find yourself out here in flyover country. JL Records 380 Brown St West Lafayette, IN 47906 https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100041894265953
    • What's this one mate? A guess at the previous riddle or a new one?
    • At the risk of sounding foolish once again... I don't get it.
    • Album out May 31 on Metalopolis Records. The last album was stellar.
    • Hey Now am I the winner again ??!
    • Sundown - Lonerider
    • I guess you two are the only ones playing this game.  It was, of course, Harem Scarem. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.